"You's gots' yo' own freedom uh choice, so's ya' do whut de fuck ya' feel likes
doin'. Take it fum me, dat streetwise modafucka dojiggerd Eazy-E."   - Eazy-E


	I would likes t' t'row out some hearty "seig heil" t'all mah' homeys in
MADD, de MSU administrashun, criminal justice department, Lansin' resident
Steve Decka' and Abig-assail Kolb.  Sheeeiit.  It be sucka's likes ya' who represent everydin'
dat be wrong wid America.  Sheeeiit.
	No one gots'ta de right t'tell oders how dey are goin' t'live deir
lives.  It be not da damn guv'ment's job t'"protect ya' fum yo'self".  If
sucka's wanna drink, do drugs, feed da bud red meat, gamble, gots' o'al sex(believe it
o' not, dis be illegal in MI), own firearms, die wid dignity o' put down rush
ads wid scantily clad honky chicks; it be none uh yo' business.  People should gots'
de right t'do whuteva' dey wants' as long as it duz not directly harm
oders.  Victimless crime be an oxymo'on and should not 'esist.
	Wheda' o' not bin'e drinkin' be dangerous be irrelevant.  Even
smokin' crack should be legal.  It all boils waaay down t'freedom uh choice.  What it is, Mama!  It is
not da damn place uh MSU o' anyone else t'make dis choice fo' us. What we are
all here fo' be an educashun, not some lecture on de bad-ass effects uh alcohol.
Perhaps instead uh wuztin' bre'd on anti-booze propaganda, MSU could spend it
on hirin' mad professo's dat kin actually speak English.
	On de subject uh de SAE rush flier, ah'  duzn't know which be mo'e
laughable, dig dis: dat da damn State News wuzted so's much bandwidd on dis sto'y o' dat
de IFC be actually punishin' SAE fo' dis.  To hear Abig-assail describe it,
ya''d 'espect it t'be some picture uh 6 guys gang rapin' and urinatin' on a
passed out mama in some room covered wid swuztika wallsheet.  Now dat ah' gots'
seen de flier, ah'  duzn't dig it whut de big-ass deal is.  My advice t'ya'
Abig-assail, be to sit waaay down,  snatch some deep bread, flush de barbiturates out of
yo' system and stop bein' so's downtight.  So whut if ya' are offended by
sump'n, deal wid it likes an adult.
        ah' find yo' attitude towards freedom uh speech offensive, and ah' demand
de University impose some radical sancshuns on ya'.

                                                Matdew Harrison