***********************************************
**              Sykotic                      **
**                      Times                **
**               Issue # 9                   **
**                May 1999                   **
**     http://www.deathsdoor.com/syko        **
***********************************************

DISCLAIMER
**********
This zine is for shit purposes only. I don't give a shit if you break the
law because it's YOUR ass that is going to get raped in jail. If you do any
of this shit (and get caught) YOU fucked up. it ain't muh fault so fuck off!
I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE IF YOU ARE A SHIT HEAD!! (I realise that most of this 
shit isn't illegal but I just think that I should warn you)


The Shit
********

1. Editorial                         by: Syko416
2. Sykotic Interview: Marnay         by: Syko416
3. Sykotic Interview: Aftermath      by: Syko416
4. Sykotic Interview: Linc           by: Syko416
5. Sykotic Interview: Golden Eye     by: Syko416
6. Sykotic Interview: Penny Ass      by: Syko416
7.                                   by: Syko416
8. Crisis At Womat: Part 3           by: Syko416
9. News                              by: Syko416
10. Top Ten                          by: Syko416
11. Jokes                            by: Syko416
12. Left Over Shit                   by: Syko416
                                     ^^^^^^^^^^^ notice a pattern?
                                                  Cuz I can't find one
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Editorial
************
	Hello and welcome the Sykotic Times Interview Issue. This issue is
full of 31337 Interviews. I interviewed people from all walks of life. (Most
of them are from http://www.wraithtech.zzn.com) It's fun to see there responces to
the questions. If you want to complete an Interview email me and I'll send you
a blankInterview sheet (or you could delete all the answers and fill it in and
send it to me) The More the jokes the better.
Later
Syko

Syko416@hotmail.com

	I was going to Put something about the shootings in Colorado and in
Alberta, but I've been busy so I'll put it in the next issue.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. The Sykotic Interview: Marnay
********************************
  0) Elite Nick: marnay
  1) Real Name: Jon Doe
  2) Age: under 18
  3) Location: Arizona
  4) Do you go to Church? no
  5) Do you go to school? yes
  6) Where were you born?  california
  7) What is your email address? marnay@juno.com
  8) Which is better, Day or Night? night
  9) What kind of music do you like? punk/rawk
 10)What bands do you like? pennywise, voodoo glow skulls, some metal
 11)Whats your alltime favorite song? n/a
 12)What song upsets you? n/a
 13)Do you like sugar? yes
 14)Do you like caffiene? yes
 15)Do you go crazy when you have a combination of both? no
 16)Do you like Pepsi or Coke? Pepsi
 17)Do you have any siblings? yes
 18)What cartoon character are you like? n/a
 19)Is there a celebrity that reminds you of yourself? no, i hate 
    celebrities
 20)Whats your favorite thing to eat? food
 21)How many buddys are on your ICQ list? none, i hate icq
 22)What are you alergic to? nothing
 23)Have you ever been on TV? yes
 24)Have you ever been in the newspaper? yes
 25)Do you have a job? no
 26)One word, Hanson:  sucks a fat one
 27)Can you sing? no
 28)What do you do when you're in the house all by yourself? ride my bike
    on the house
 29)What shows do you watch? x-files, outer limits
 30)Whats your favorite color? blue
 31)Are you affraid of heights? no
 32)When were you born? you already asked this
 33)What time were you born? early morning
 34)What is your zodiac sign? a human
 35)What color is your underwear? plaid
 36)Do you like scary movies? yes
 37)Have you ever masturbated? n/a
 38)If so, to what? n/a
 39)Do you like men or women? women, very old women (j/k)
 40)Have you ever consumed alcohol? yes
 41)Have you ever smoked weed? yes
 42)Have you ever smoked tobacco? yes
 43)Did you ever skip a class in school? yes
 44)Truth or Dare? truth
 45)Have you ever been drunk? yes
 46)Have you ever Bee stoned? yes
 47)Have you ever seen a pornographic movie? yes
 48)Have you ever seen a pornographic magazine? yes
 49)Have you ever seen a pornographic Website? yes
 50)Have you ever had sexual intercourse? n/a
 51)Have you ever had anal intercourse? no
 52)Have you ever recieved anal intercourse? no
 53)Have you ever "rimmed"? no
 54)Have you ever given a blow job? no
 55)Have you ever recieved a blowjob? n/a
 56)Have you ever performed fellatio? no
 57)Do you have any warez? yes
 58)Do you have any mp3z? yes
 59)Have you ever been arrested? no
 60)If so, for what? n/a
 61)Have you ever played dress up...in that way? no
 62)Would you go down on me in a theater? no
 63)Have you ever been horny? n/a
 64)Are you horny right now? n/a
 65)Do you know what urine tastes like? no
 66)Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? no
 67)If so, Did you join in? no
 68)Have you ever used cocaine? no, i like crack
 69)Have you ever 69ed? n/a
 70)Have you ever used shrooms? no
 71)Have you ever used Opium? no
 72)Have you ever used speed? no
 73)Have you ever used Crystal? no
 74)Have you ever urinated on another person? no
 75)Have you in the past five years defecated in your own pants? no
 76)Have you in the past five years *intentionally* defecated in your 
    own pants? no
 77)Have you ever received fellatio while defecating, or vice versa? no
 78)What's your favourite position? n/a
 79)Are you an 31337 hax0r? possibly
 80)Do you like chilling? si` senor
 81)Monday Night Raw Watching? wrestling is fake (in case you didn't know)
 82)Are you normal? yes
 83)Are you regular? no
 84)Have you ever been Hypnotized? no
 85)What's better, WWF or WCW? wrestling is fake (in case you didn't know)
 86)Does it suck to be you? no
 87)Why don't you get a job? cause im a slacker
 88)Do the girls think you are pretty fly? for a white guy? the new 
    offspring cd sucks
 89)When I say jump, you say: fuck you
 90)Are you (or have you ever been) Insane? no
 91)Does anything else matter? yes
 92)Do you read Sykotic Times? sometimes
 93)Do you enjoy it? sometimes
 94)Is it 31333 $hit? yes, it is pimp
 95)Do you have faith? in what?
 96)Is there a God? possibly
 97)Is there a Heaven? possibly
 98)Is there a Hell? the earth, is hell
 99)Is there a Devil? yes, William H. Gates III
100)Have you told the truth in this interview? yes

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
3. Sykotic Interview: Aftermath
*******************************

  0) Elite Nick: Aftermath
  1) Real Name: Cant tell ya
  2) Age: 16
  3) Location: North West B.C. Canada
  4) Do you go to Church? Some times
  5) Do you go to school?  Yup
  6) Where were you born? North of where I live now
  7) What is your email address? assistant-director@the-pentagon.com
  8) Which is better, Day or Night? Night
  9) What kind of music do you like? Trip hop, rap, and others
 10)What bands do you like? N.W.A. and Eazy-E
 11)Whats your alltime favorite song? Sory Luie by Eazy-E
 12)What song upsets you? Anything that is stupid
 13)Do you like sugar? yes
 14)Do you like caffiene? Not realy
 15)Do you go crazy when you have a combination of both? Yes
 16)Do you like Pepsi or Coke? Coke
 17)Do you have any siblings? Yes
 18)What cartoon character are you like? Spider-man
 19)Is there a celebrity that reminds you of yourself? Bruse Willis
 20)Whats your favorite thing to eat? Pizza
 21)How many buddys are on your ICQ list? none
 22)What are you alergic to? Nothing
 23)Have you ever been on TV? Yes
 24)Have you ever been in the newspaper? Yes
 25)Do you have a job? no
 26)One word, Hanson:  Sucks
 27)Can you sing? No
 28)What do you do when you're in the house all by yourself? Sleep
 29)What shows do you watch? Nowhere Man, Simpsons
 30)Whats your favorite color? Black
 31)Are you affraid or heights? Not realy
 32)When were you born? 1983
 33)What time were you born? ?
 34)What is your zodiac sign? Gemini
 35)What color is your underwear? Blue
 36)Do you like scary movies? Yes
 37)Have you ever masturbated? Yes
 38)If so, to what? Girls
 39)Do you like men or women? Women
 40)Have you ever consumed alcohol? Yes
 41)Have you ever smoked weed? Yes
 42)Have you ever smoked tobacco? Yes
 43)Did you ever skip a class in school? Yes
 44)Truth or Dare? Dare
 45)Have you ever been drunk? No
 46)Have you ever Bee stoned? Yes
 47)Have you ever seen a pornographic movie? Yes
 48)Have you ever seen a pornographic magazine? Yes
 49)Have you ever seen a pornographic Website? Cant tell you.
 50)Have you ever had sexual intercourse? No
 51)Have you ever had anal intercourse? No
 52)Have you ever recieved anal intercourse? No
 53)Have you ever "rimmed"? No
 54)Have you ever given a blow job? No
 55)Have you ever recieved a blowjob? No
 56)Have you ever performed fellatio? no
 57)Do you have any warez? Cant tell you
 58)Do you have any mp3z? Yes
 59)Have you ever been arrested? No
 60)If so, for what? N/A
 61)Have you ever played dress up...in that way? HA! No
 62)Would you go down on me in a theater? No
 63)Have you ever been horny? Yes
 64)Are you horny right now? No
 65)Do you know what urine tastes like? No
 66)Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? No
 67)If so, Did you join in?No
 68)Have you ever used cocaine?No
 69)Have you ever 69ed? No
 70)Have you ever used shrooms? Yes
 71)Have you ever used Opium? No
 72)Have you ever used speed? No
 73)Have you ever used Crystal? No
 74)Have you ever urinated on another person? No
 75)Have you in the past five years defecated in your own pants? No
 76)Have you in the past five years *intentionally* defecated in
    your own pants? No
 77)Have you ever received fellatio while defecating, or vice versa? No
 78)What's your favourite position? Dont know yet
 79)Are you an 31337 hax0r? No
 80)Do you like chilling? Yes
 81)Monday Night Raw Watching? Yes
 82)Are you normal? I think so
 83)Are you regular? I guess so
 84)Have you ever been Hypnotized? No
 85)What's better, WWF or WCW? WCW
 86)Does it suck to be you? Yes
 87)Why don't you get a job? Your making me sad
 88)Do the girls think you are pretty fly? No
 89)When I say jump, you say: No
 90)Are you (or have you ever been) Insane? I dont think so.
 91)Does anything else matter? No
 92)Do you read Sykotic Times? Yes
 93)Do you enjoy it? Yup
 94)Is it 31333 $hit? Yes!
 95)Do you have faith? No
 96)Is there a God? I dont know
 97)Is there a Heaven? Maybe
 98)Is there a Hell? Probibly
 99)Is there a Devil? Yes
100)Have you told the truth in this interview? Yes

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. The Sykotic Interview: Linc
******************************

  0) Elite Nick: you can call me linc..
  1) Real Name: megan
  2) Age: 22 years, 1 month and twelve days...
  3) Location: nj
  4) Do you go to Church?  sometimes
  5) Do you go to school? college...
  6) Where were you born?  in a hospital..
  7) What is your email address?  linc@wraithtech.zzn.com
  8) Which is better, Day or Night? night..i like the feeling of darkness
  9) What kind of music do you like? anything that i can relate to
 10) What bands do you like? pearl jam, alice in chains, live,
     dinosaur, tori amos, bosstones....but i also like tlc, mary j.,
     and a whole bunch of crap... jr., hole, etc....
 11) Whats your alltime favorite song? indifference by pearl jam
 12) What song upsets you? good enough by sarah mglaughlin (sp?)
 13) Do you like sugar? mostly in the form of skittles or
     fruitty pebbles..
 14) Do you like caffiene? yes
 15) Do you go crazy when you have a combination of both? no...i get a 
     headache
 16) Do you like Pepsi or Coke? sprite
 17) Do you have any siblings? yes
 18) What cartoon character are you like?  taz
 19) Is there a celebrity that reminds you of yourself?  yes..
 20) Whats your favorite thing to eat? food
 21) How many buddys are on your ICQ list? 0
 22) What are you alergic to? assholes and snobs
 23) Have you ever been on TV? twice..
 24) Have you ever been in the newspaper? i have made a few
     headlines in my time...and once a front page...
 25) Do you have a job? yes..
 26) One word, Hanson: mmm bop is a feel good song and there is
     nothing wrong with that..
 27) Can you sing? probably not..
 28) What do you do when you're in the house all by yourself? 
     read...write...walk around naked..
 29) What shows do you watch? i hardly ever watch tv...
 30) Whats your favorite color?  black....
 31) Are you affraid or heights?  terrified...
 32) When were you born?  at night...
 33) What time were you born? between 9:42 and 9:45
 34) What is your zodiac sign? i am a typical pisces..
 35) What color is your underwear? today....black
 36) Do you like scary movies? NO...
 37) Have you ever masturbated? sure...everyone has and if they
     say they haven't i don't believe it...
 38) If so, to what? five..
 39) Do you like men or women? i like people...
 40) Have you ever consumed alcohol? sure..
 41) Have you ever smoked weed? yup...
 42) Have you ever smoked tobacco? every day...
 43) Did you ever skip a class in school? yes...
 44) Truth or Dare? truth...because nobody ever comes up with a good 
     dare...
 45) Have you ever been drunk? too many times..
 46) Have you ever Bee stoned? yes..
 47) Have you ever seen a pornographic movie? yes..
 48) Have you ever seen a pornographic magazine? yes..
 49) Have you ever seen a pornographic Website? yes..
 50) Have you ever had sexual intercourse? yes..
 51) Have you ever had anal intercourse? not yet..
 52) Have you ever recieved anal intercourse? nope..
 53) Have you ever "rimmed"? no
 54) Have you ever given a blow job? yes..
 55) Have you ever recieved a blowjob? um..no..
 56) Have you ever performed fellatio? yes..
 57) Do you have any warez? no..
 58) Do you have any mp3z? no..
 59) Have you ever been arrested? kinda...
 60) If so, for what? it's really not even worth mentioning..
 61) Have you ever played dress up...in that way? nope..
 62) Would you go down on me in a theater? well, not you..but a certain
     someone....
 63) Have you ever been horny? yes..
 64) Are you horny right now? no...
 65) Do you know what urine tastes like? yes..
 66) Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? yes...
 67) If so, Did you join in? no..
 68) Have you ever used cocaine? no..
 69) Have you ever 69ed? yes..
 70) Have you ever used shrooms? no..
 71) Have you ever used Opium? no..
 72) Have you ever used speed? no..
 73) Have you ever used Crystal? no..
 74) Have you ever urinated on another person? yes...
 75) Have you in the past five years defecated in your own pants? no...
 76) Have you in the past five years *intentionally* defecated in 
     your own pants? no..
 77) Have you ever received fellatio while defecating, or vice versa? no..
 78) What's your favourite position? missionary..
 79) Are you an 31337 hax0r? no...
 80) Do you like chilling? uh...sure..
 81) Monday Night Raw Watching? i tend to flip back and forth between
     raw and nitro...
 82) Are you normal? nope..
 83) Are you regular? probably not..
 84) Have you ever been Hypnotized? all hypnosis is self-hypnosis...
 85) What's better, WWF or WCW? neither...i like the original
     degeneration x and the original wolfpack...
 86) Does it suck to be you? no...
 87) Why don't you get a job? because i already have one...
 88) Do the girls think you are pretty fly? it would be interesting if
     they did...
 89) When I say jump, you say: fuck you..
 90) Are you (or have you ever been) Insane? probably...
 91) Does anything else matter? everything matters but few understand 
     that...
 92) Do you read Sykotic Times? once...
 93) Do you enjoy it? sure...
 94) Is it 31333 $hit? no...
 95) Do you have faith? in God and God only..
 96) Is there a God? of course..
 97) Is there a Heaven? yes..
 98) Is there a Hell? yes...
 99) Is there a Devil? yes..
100) Have you told the truth in this interview? yes...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
5. The Sykotic Interview: Golden Eye
************************************

 0) Elite Nick:I am not elite but my name is goldeneye
 1) Real Name: jdc, my initials is all you get pal
 2) Age:pushing 30's
 3) Location:palo alto, ca
 4) Do you go to Church?not anymore
 5) Do you go to school? no
 6) Where were you born?  stockton, ca
 7) What is your email address?goldeneye@wraithtech.zzn.com
 8) Which is better, Day or Night?depends on who you are with
 9) What kind of music do you like?classic rock
10)What bands do you like?stones, bowie, clash, winwood, talking heads
11)Whats your alltime favorite song?Voice-Russ Ballard, it is based on an 
   unfinished Hitchcock story about a murder that never happened to a victim 
   who never existed
12)What song upsets you?  I think it is called Lightning Strikes and by 
   Throwing Copper, yes I cry, cause you have to listen to the words it is 
   about real sacrifice
13)Do you like sugar?yes
14)Do you like caffiene? raw?
15)Do you go crazy when you have a combination of both?no
16)Do you like Pepsior Coke?what's the diff? I like pepsi better
17)Do you have any siblings?yes
18)What cartoon character are you like?batman, but you guessed that right?
19)Is there a celebrity that reminds you of yourself?michaelkeaton, 
   allen payne
20)Whats your favorite thing to eat?pizza
21)How many buddys are on your ICQ list?don't use it
22)What are you alergic to?cops
23)Have you ever been on TV?twice
24)Have you ever been in the newspaper?three times
25)Do you have a job?depends on your definition of work
26)One word, Hanson:creative brats  
27)Can you sing?maybe, look for my version of the boz scaggs classic
   "Lowdown" next month
28)What do you do when you're in the house all by yourself? plan,read, tape 
   movies, be on my computer, swear and eat
29)What shows do you watch?classics, rockford files
30)Whats your favorite color?black of course
31)Are you affraid or heights?not at all
32)When were you born?january
33)What time were you born?close to midnite but no one knows for sure there
   was a power outtage in the hospital cause of a very bad storm
34)What is your zodiac sign?would this be the upward middle finger?
35)What color is your underwear? now or usually, now it is purple
36)Do you like scary movies?I guess but I like in the ghetto I
   want to see a scary movie I look out my window
37)Have you ever masturbated?don't really make this a habit
38)If so, to what?
39)Do you like men or women?women
40)Have you ever consumed alcohol?who said I stopped?
41)Have you ever smoked weed?anti drug
42)Have you ever smoked tobacco?used to smoke three packs of marlboros a day
43)Did you ever skip a class in school?cut class so much I barely graduated
44)Truth or Dare?you have to ask me but I prefer truth cause everyday life
   is a dare
45)Have you ever been drunk?sure
46)Have you ever Bee stoned?no
47)Have you ever seen a pornographic movie?about 15 minutes of one
48)Have you ever seen a pornographic magazine?lately? no, have I? yes
49)Have you ever seen a pornographic Website?how can you not,
   ever heard the words 'false link' before?
50)Have you ever had sexual intercourse?yes
51)Have you ever had anal intercourse?yes, and I love it!!
52)Have you ever recieved anal intercourse?nope
53)Have you ever "rimmed"? nope but I am willing if she is
54)Have you ever given a blow job?nope I am not a sicko
55)Have you ever recieved a blowjob?yep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
56)Have you ever performed fellatio?yes, and I love this too!!!!!!
57)Do you have any warez?cannot confirm or deny that I may or
   may not have warez
58)Do you have any mp3z?same as above
59)Have you ever been arrested?yes
60)If so, for what?would take to long to tell
61)Have you ever played dress up...in that way?nope
62)Would you go down on me in a theater?on you no, my girl yes
63)Have you ever been horny?like 90% of the time
64)Are you horny right now?ironically no, but check back in five
65)Do you know what urine tastes like?
66)Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex?nope
67)If so, Did you join in?sicko!!!!!
68)Have you ever used cocaine?no
69)Have you ever 69ed?yes, and I love this too!!!Nothing like
   having your woman's butt on your face
70)Have you ever used shrooms?lay off the drug questions ok
71)Have you ever used Opium?no
72)Have you ever used speed?no
73)Have you ever used Crystal?no
74)Have you ever urinated on another person?no
75)Have you in the past five years defecated in your own
   pants?of course not
76)Have you in the past five years *intentionally* defecated in
   your own pants?why would I? No you are a sicko!!
77)Have you ever received fellatio while defecating, or vice
   versa?no but ask me and I might tell you a story about what my
   ex said after I licked her....well you get the idea
78)What's your favourite position?N.O.Y.D.B. (none of your damn
   business)
79)Are you an 31337 hax0r?nope
80)Do you like chilling?who doesn't
81)Monday Night Raw Watching?if this means staring at my
   neighbors across the street with binoculars then yes
82)Are you normal?what is normal?
83)Are you regular?attitude of bathroom?
84)Have you ever been Hypnotized?nope said I possessed a will to
   strong to accept subliminal suggestions
85)What's better, WWF or WCW?neither they are both fixed
86)Does it suck to be you?like anything else, there are good
   days and bad days
87)Why don't you get a job?I have one
88)Do the girls think you are pretty fly?no they say I am
   intense and uptight
89)When I say jump, you say:fuck off?
90)Are you (or have you ever been) Insane?of course not!!
91)Does anything else matter?family, love and something to
   believe in
92)Do you read Sykotic Times?never heard of it
93)Do you enjoy it?how would I know
94)Is it 31333 $hit?not sure
95)Do you have faith?like New Order says, I have True Faith
96)Is there a God?yes
97)Is there a Heaven?for those chosen by God
98)Is there a Hell?somewhere outside of vidor, texas
99)Is there a Devil?yes
100)Have you told the truth in this interview?yes

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
6. The Sykotic Interview: Penny Ass
***********************************

0) Elite Nick:pennyass
1) Real Name:penny
2) Age:16
3) Location:quebec
4) Do you go to Church?no
5) Do you go to school?yes
6) Where were you born? maria hospital
7) What is your email address?pennyass@hotmail.com
8) Which is better, Day or Night?night
9) What kind of music do you like?anything good
10)What bands do you like?nirvana
11)Whats your alltime favorite song?friends in low places
12)What song upsets you?you're still the one
13)Do you like sugar?no
14)Do you like caffiene?sometimes
15)Do you go crazy when you have a combination of both?no
16)Do you like Pepsi or Coke?coke
17)Do you have any siblings?ya
18)What cartoon character are you like?giggly puff
19)Is there a celebrity that reminds you of yourself? betty boop
20)Whats your favorite thing to eat?salad
21)How many buddys are on your ICQ list?about 35
22)What are you alergic to?almands,scallops
23)Have you ever been on TV?ya
24)Have you ever been in the newspaper?no
25)Do you have a job?ya
26)One word, Hanson: sux
27)Can you sing?ya
28)What do you do when you're in the house all by yourself?scream
29)What shows do you watch?friends and dawson's creek
30)Whats your favorite color?yellow
31)Are you affraid or heights?ya
32)When were you born?82
33)What time were you born?8:45
34)What is your zodiac sign?leo
35)What color is your underwear?black
36)Do you like scary movies?love' em
37)Have you ever masturbated?no
38)If so, to what?...
39)Do you like men or women?men
40)Have you ever consumed alcohol?ya
41)Have you ever smoked weed?lots of times
42)Have you ever smoked tobacco?I always do
43)Did you ever skip a class in school?ya
44)Truth or Dare?dare
45)Have you ever been drunk?ya
46)Have you ever Bee stoned?ya
47)Have you ever seen a pornographic movie?ya
48)Have you ever seen a pornographic magazine?ya
49)Have you ever seen a pornographic Website?ya
50)Have you ever had sexual intercourse?ya
51)Have you ever had anal intercourse?nope
52)Have you ever recieved anal intercourse?no
53)Have you ever "rimmed"? no
54)Have you ever given a blow job?ya
55)Have you ever recieved a blowjob?no
56)Have you ever performed fellatio?no
57)Do you have any warez?hen....
58)Do you have any mp3z?hen....
59)Have you ever been arrested?not yet
60)If so, for what?,,,,
61)Have you ever played dress up...in that way?ya
62)Would you go down on me in a theater?wel.....
63)Have you ever been horny?ya
64)Are you horny right now?no
65)Do you know what urine tastes like?no
66)Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex?ya
67)If so, Did you join in?no
68)Have you ever used cocaine?no
69)Have you ever 69ed?ya
70)Have you ever used shrooms?no
71)Have you ever used Opium?no
72)Have you ever used speed?no
73)Have you ever used Crystal?no
74)Have you ever urinated on another person?no
75)Have you in the past five years defecated in your own pants?no
76)Have you in the past five years *intentionally* defecated in
   your own pants?no
77)Have you ever received fellatio while defecating, or vice
   versa?no
78)What's your favourite position?me on top
79)Are you an 31337 hax0r?hen...
80)Do you like chilling?ya
81)Monday Night Raw Watching?cool
82)Are you normal?yes
83)Are you regular?wathever
84)Have you ever been Hypnotized?no
85)What's better, WWF or WCW?wwf
86)Does it suck to be you?not really
87)Why don't you get a job?cause I'm still studying
88)Do the girls think you are pretty fly?Well I am girl
89)When I say jump, you say:no you jump
90)Are you (or have you ever been) Insane?many times
91)Does anything else matter?no
92)Do you read Sykotic Times?no
93)Do you enjoy it?....
94)Is it 31333 $hit?hen...
95)Do you have faith?yes
96)Is there a God?yes
97)Is there a Heaven?yes
98)Is there a Hell?yes
99)Is there a Devil?yes
100)Have you told the truth in this interview?the hole truth
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
7. The Sykotic Interview: ECW666
********************************

 0) Elite Nick:    ECW666
 1) Real Name:    I  dont give that shit out
 2) Age:    15 (16 this may)
 3) Location:      PA
 4) Do you go to Church?     What do you think?
 5) Do you go to school?     Yes
 6) Where were you born?     PA
 7) What is your email address?   ECW666@concentric.net  
 8) Which is better, Day or Night?      Night
 9) What kind of music do you like?      Death Metal
 10)What bands do you like? Deicide, Obituary,
   Cannibal Corpse, Mortician, Broken Hope, Autopsy, etc.
   (sick shit)
 11)Whats your alltime favorite song? Too many to choose from
 12)What song upsets you?  Anything from Dave Mathews Band
    (kill that motherfucker)
 13)Do you like sugar? Of course
 14)Do you like caffiene? Yes
 15)Do you go crazy when you have a combination of both? I
    go crazy naturally
 16)Do you like Pepsi or Coke?  Coke
 17)Do you have any siblings? 1
 18)What cartoon character are you like? Fuck cartoons
 19)Is there a celebrity that reminds you of yourself?
    John Holmes (12 inch sub)
 20)Whats your favorite thing to eat?  Meat
 21)How many buddys are on your ICQ list?  Dont have ICQ
 22)What are you alergic to? Gays
 23)Have you ever been on TV? All the time (ECW)
 24)Have you ever been in the newspaper? No
 25)Do you have a job? Yeah
 26)One word, Hanson:  One phrase:  WHo made this bullshit up?
 27)Can you sing? I can sing
 28)What do you do when you're in the house all by yourself? Go 
    fuckin nuts
 29)What shows do you watch? ECW TV, thats basically it.
    I watch a lot of horror and sick shit
 30)Whats your favorite color? Black or Red (Blood)
 31)Are you affraid or heights? Nope
 32)When were you born? 5/5/83
 33)What time were you born? about 7 Pm
 34)What is your zodiac sign? DEICIDE
 35)What color is your underwear? White
 36)Do you like scary movies? Check out my site @
    http://expage.com/page/ecw666 then deicide yourself
 37)Have you ever masturbated? Of course (he he)
 38)If so, to what? Big fat fuckin titties
 39)Do you like men or women? Women
 40)Have you ever consumed alcohol? Yes
 41)Have you ever smoked weed? Yeah
 42)Have you ever smoked tobacco? Fuck tobacco when theres weed
 43)Did you ever skip a class in school? Sure
 44)Truth or Dare? Dont care
 45)Have you ever been drunk? Yes
 46)Have you ever Bee stoned? Yes
 47)Have you ever seen a pornographic movie? Have them, sell them
 48)Have you ever seen a pornographic magazine? Of course
 49)Have you ever seen a pornographic Website? Naturally
 50)Have you ever had sexual intercourse? I never fucked,
    but I did feel everything
 51)Have you ever had anal intercourse? Not yet
 52)Have you ever recieved anal intercourse? Never
 53)Have you ever "rimmed"? Say but
 54)Have you ever given a blow job? ??? Fuck no
 55)Have you ever recieved a blowjob? Half of one, never came
 56)Have you ever performed fellatio? No
 57)Do you have any warez? Nope
 58)Do you have any mp3z? No
 59)Have you ever been arrested? No
 60)If so, for what? No
 61)Have you ever played dress up...in that way? No
 62)Would you go down on me in a theater? Who are you?
 63)Have you ever been horny? Obviously
 64)Are you horny right now? No
 65)Do you know what urine tastes like? Probably tastes
    like answering this
 66)Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? nope
 67)If so, Did you join in? No
 68)Have you ever used cocaine? No
 69)Have you ever 69ed? No
 70)Have you ever used shrooms? No
 71)Have you ever used Opium? No
 72)Have you ever used speed? No
 73)Have you ever used Crystal? No
 74)Have you ever urinated on another person? No, but wanted to
 75)Have you in the past five years defecated in your own pants? No
 76)Have you in the past five years *intentionally* defecated in your
 own pants? No
 77)Have you ever received fellatio while defecating, or vice versa? No
 78)What's your favourite position? Dont have one yet
 79)Are you an 31337 hax0r? No, 666 hacka
 80)Do you like chilling? Yeah
 81)Monday Night Raw Watching? Strictly ECW
 82)Are you normal? No
 83)Are you regular? Same question stupid fuck
 84)Have you ever been Hypnotized? no
 85)What's better, WWF or WCW? ECW
 86)Does it suck to be you? Sucks tittes
 87)Why don't you get a job? Fuck Offspring negroid
 88)Do the girls think you are pretty fly? If they got the biguns
 89)When I say jump, you say: FUCK YOU JERKOFF (clap clap
    clap clap clap)
 90)Are you (or have you ever been) Insane? 666, what do you think
 91)Does anything else matter? Classic metallica, but something else 
    matters...
 92)Do you read Sykotic Times? yeah
 93)Do you enjoy it? Enjoy flesh
 94)Is it 31333 $hit? no
 95)Do you have faith? Faith No Mo'
 96)Is there a God? Yes, DEICIDE has suceeded though
 97)Is there a Heaven? No
 98)Is there a Hell? No
 99)Is there a Devil? Never fuckers
100)Have you told the truth in this interview? Yeah,
    honestly I tried.  Voice me up on collegeclub @ ECW666.
    Any new lines or systems, leave me a voicemail.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
8. Crisis At Womat: Part 3
**************************

	The fire alarm went off. We all got up to leave.
	"No," the robber said, "You fuckers ain’t going no where!"
	"Look, we have to leave because if we don’t the police will know 
exactly which room you are in." Rachelle said.
	"She’s right" said Mr. Billy "Let the students go and you can keep
me."
	"Ha! Fuck no!" snickered the robber, "You think that they care 
about an old fart, like you, more than their students? Fuck no. You’re 
right though, I should let some of you fuckers go, but first . . . "
	The robber turned to Mr. Billy, pulled out his gun and fired.
	The class jumped.
	The bullet hit Mr. Billy in the shoulder and he fell. Paul fainted 
at the sight of blood.
	". . . I have to send a message." the robber finishes.
	"Oh shit!" said Jim, the rapper, as he rushed to Mr. Billy "He needs
to get to a hospital or he’ll die"
	"Well, DUH!" the robber laughed "Come on, it’s just a fucking flesh 
wound. I guess I have to get rid of some of you fuckers, but let’s see, who 
stays?"
	"Ok, you 3 mother fuckers will stay" the robber said as he pointed 
the gun at . . . 


                     To be continued......


----------------------------------------------------------------------------
9.News
*******

ALL ROADS LEAD TO ROME AS WOODSTOCK CELEBRATES ITS 30TH ANNIVERSARY 
Official Press Release


250,000 Expected to Attend Festival July 23rd - 25th at Griffiss
Park in Rome, New York 

(April 8 - New York) "Don't trust anyone over 30" was the motto of
the '60's counter culture - but now Woodstock, the ultimate
celebration of peace, love and rock-n-roll is turning 30 - and it's got
the hottest, most eclectic line up of the year. As Aerosmith,
Bush, The Chemical Brothers, George Clinton, Collective
Soul, Counting Crows, Creed, Sheryl Crow, DMX,
Everlast, Fatboy Slim, Foo Fighters, Guster, Ice Cube,
Jewel, Korn, Limp Bizkit, Live, Los Lobos, Dave Mathews
Band, Metallica, moe., Alanis Morissette, Willie Nelson,
Rage Against the Machine, Sugar Ray, Red Hot Chili
Peppers, Rusted Root, Brian Setzer Orchestra, The
Offspring and The Tragically Hip are scheduled to play the
main stages at Woodstock '99 at Griffiss Park in Rome,
New York, July 23rd - 25th it was announced today by
Michael Lang, John Scher and Ossie Killkenny. 

Woodstock '99 is a virtual "who's who" of contemporary music. The
event is a worthy successor to the original '69 show and
supersedes the wildly successful '94 festival. From artists whose
rock-n-roll roots echo back to the spirit of the original festival - to
the most progressive and innovative artists of the moment -
Woodstock '99 stays true to the Woodstock ideology of capturing
a generation and its music. 

Three more days of mud, noise and logistical nightmares?
Wouldn't miss it for the world! said Metallica's Lars Ulrich. 

Woodstock '99 will be held at the 3,600-acre Griffiss Park, formerly
Griffiss Air Force Base in Rome, New York located 50 minutes
west of Albany, NY. 

Woodstock isn't just a concert - it's a rite of passage," said
Michael Lang, one of the producers of both the original Woodstock
as well as the '94 event. "Woodstock has become the 'Olympics'
of live music - so that every five years we can step out of
ourselves and celebrate diversity, great music and each other." 

While according to its organizers, "Woodstock isn't a place, it's a
state of mind," the festival's producers have still managed to
virtually create a city on the concert site - complete with on-site
and off-site parking and 240 acres designated exclusively for
on-site camping. In addition, the site features its own hospital,
utilities system, solid waste, sanitation, 2,000 portable toilets, 3.6
million gallons of potable water, transportation, fire, and
communications as well as five security substations. A
commemorative 12-foot "Woodstock Wall" painted with murals will
enclose and protect the entire concert area. 

In 1994, over 350,000 attended the 25th anniversary of Woodstock
and the event spawned a platinum-selling double, live CD and
home video, as well as the highest grossing music pay-per-view
broadcast in history. In addition, the festival was an international
media event that helped launch the careers of many gold and
platinum-selling artists. 

"Every generation deserves its own Woodstock. Woodstock brings
together people from all over the country and all over the world to
celebrate the spirit of the original concert in 1969 as well as
celebrate the spirit and the music of the moment," said John
Scher, president, Metropolitan Entertainment. 

Woodstock '99 is expected to pump approximately $30 million into
the local economy of Oneida County and the city of Rome, NY. 

Woodstock's organizers have assembled some of the finest in
international festival security, planning, staging, marketing and
management. On the security front, former New York City police
chief of transportation Kenneth J. Donohue has been named
Director of Security operations. Working alongside Donahue is
Miami, FL/Dade County special bureau commander, Daniel W.
Flynn who will serve as Director of Planning. Ken Viola, Head of
Metropolitan Entertainment Security and former head of security for
the Grateful Dead, has been appointed Head of Stage and
Backstage Security. 

"The main security differences between the '94 show and this
year's concert are: first, we have much better control of ticketing
and admissions; second, the venue's existing structure will add to
the show and the fence will prevent crashing and third, the
organizational structure is much more efficient," said Donohue.
"The producers just wanted me to 'spare no expense' to make sure
the event was as secure, safe and well-run as possible and that's
exactly what I did. 

In excess of 2,800 security personnel will man the '99 event. In
addition, 700-900 Family of Woodstock staff members will
roam the festival grounds to facilitate information services and
act as a quick response team. 

"Security and safety are definitely our top priority," said
Flynn. "One of the big problems at the '94 show was
fence-jumping. Let's put it this way -- where the '94 show
had a 6 foot chain link fence, we have a 12 foot plywood
fence backed with steel girders that runs the entire perimeter
of the venue. If you don't have a ticket, don't come." 

Beginning April 18th at 9:00 a.m. EST bus and tour packages
for Woodstock '99 will go on sale through Ticketmaster at
212-397-7474 or in Canada at 416-870-8000 or online at
www.ticketmaster.com. Departing from 17 major U.S. cities,
The "Woodstock Express" will feature express entry and exit
from the festival grounds, and luxury motorcoach transportation.
Packages including festival tickets start at $249.99. 

Woodstock '99 air travel packages are also on sale Sunday,
April 18th. The packages feature roundtrip transportation via
Northwest Airlines, three nights lodging in a deluxe hotel and all
transfers and taxes. Reservations are available through Target
Sport Adventures at 1-800-832-4242 or online at
www.targetsport.com. 

Individual Woodstock '99 tickets will go on sale Sunday, April
25th at 9:00 a.m. EST through Ticketmaster at 212-397-7474
or in Canada at 416-870-8000 and online at
www.ticketmaster.com. Tickets will also be available at all
Ticketmaster outlets in the Northeastern United States and
Canada only. Individual ticket price is $150.00 - not including
applicable taxes, surcharges and a $5.00 parking fee. Ticket
price includes entrance to the festival and camping. 

Additional Woodstock '99 features include 2 main stages
providing simultaneous entertainment, arts village, a film
festival, experimental theater, concessions village, beer
gardens, ecology displays, craft demonstrations,
technology park and video walls. 

Official Woodstock '99 festival information is available
online at www.woodstock.com. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
10. Top Ten
************
Top Ten Cigarette Warnings

10. Medical studies have proven you can still live with only one lung.
9. Most forms of cancer are treatable; at least for a while.
8. This is only one of hundreds of products that are slowly killing you.
7. Smoking does not affect the fetuses of women who aren't pregnant.
6. Refusing to inhale drastically reduces risk of lung cancer.
5. Go ahead and drive or operate heavy machinery. It's perfectly fine. 
4. Secondhand smoke only affects those who might breath it.
3. Cigarettes don't kill, matches do.
2. Nicotine is not addictive because you know you could quit if you really 
   wanted to.
1. There have been no medical tests to conclusively prove smoking is a 
   teeth-staining, smelly, pukey habit. And we're not all that ready to 
   concede the tumor-causing part either. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
11. Jokes
*********

Take a picture
**************
 On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple go to change.
 The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her 
beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you 
can open your robe." 
 The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh,
aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My word, you are so beautiful, let me take your 
picture.
 Puzzled, she asks, "My picture?"
 He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart 
forever."
 She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom 
to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do 
you wear a robe? We are married now."
 At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "Oh, oh, oh my, let me 
get a picture."
 He beams and asks, "Why?"
 She answers, "So I can get it enlarged."


Rich Man, Poor Man
*******************
A rich man and a poor man were sitting in a bar late one night.
They were talking about different things and then the poor man asked the
rich man what he bought his wife for her birthday. "I got her a brand new
Mercedes Benz and a 24-karat diamond ring," says the rich man.
The poor man, a bit puzzled, asked, "Why the hell did you get her both?"
The rich man replied, "I got her both so if she doesn't like the ring, she
can drive her new car back to the jeweler's to exchange it. So... What did
YOU buy for YOUR wife?"
The poor man said, "I bought her a pair of flip-flops and a dildo."
Obviously confused, the rich man asked why he chose those items.
The poor man replied, "Because if she doesn't like the flip-flops, she can
go fuck herself!"


Newlyweds
*********
A young couple were married and celebrated their first night together,
doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. Morning
comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he
emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the
bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing
his body for the first time to his bride.
Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared and
she asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a small part of his anatomy.
He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what
we had so much fun with last night."
And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?"


Sexual Aid
**********
Glasnost had finally come to a small, remote area of mother Russia.  One 
young couple, married for only a few months, obtained an American sex 
manual.  In it they found many exciting, new things to do that had never
before been discussed.  After living their entire lives without proper
information, the young couple decided to experiment.
As they read the book together, the husband turned to his wife and said
"Wife, this oral sex looks exciting.  I would like to try it on you."  The
wife agreed.
Afterwards, the husband said to his wife, "That was fun, and I would like
to do it again.  But wife, you taste funnyn down there.  I read in the 
book that they make sprays in many flavors to make it taste better."
The wife thought for a moment, then said, "Husband, I love you dearly, and 
I too enjoyed it.  I will go to the market today, and ask at the new
pharmacy they have opened if they have any flavors."
So the woman went to the market, and when she returned, she was very
excited.
"Husband!"  She cried! "I have found what we want!"
"Wonderful, my wife." He replied.  "Tell me all about it."
"Well," the wife said, "They have many different flavors.  I saw 
strawberry, banana, orange, grape..."
"Yes... Yes...", the husband interrupted. "What flavor did you buy?" he
asked excitedly.
"Tuna!"  She said

One Hell Of A Week
******************
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double 
vodkas." 
The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." 
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." 
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. 
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, 
"I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" 
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double 
vodkas. The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife..." 


Sexual Exhaustion
*****************
The teacher gave a writing assignment. He said the only excuse for not
turning in the paper would be severe illness.
A student asked "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
The teacher thought about it for a minute and responded "No. You'll just
have to learn to write with your other hand."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
12. Left Over Shit
******************
     Is there anything wrost then shit? yeah, left over shit, sucka! So here it is:

     Want be come famous? Write for Sykotic Times! Send your articles to:
                            syko416@hotmail.com 
                  I put anything/everything in here. 

     Visit : http://www.deathsdoor.com/syko

     IRC Hang outs:
			Efnet - #fosc, #ch4x
			Undernet - #hackcanada

     Shout outs to: http://www.wraithtech.zzn.com 

     In next issue: Mother's Day Issue
     Street date: May 15/99