*********************************************** ** SyKoTiC ** ** TiMeS ** ** IsSu3 # 16 ** ** HaXoR IsSuE ** ** http://www.deathsdoor.com/syko ** *********************************************** DiScLaImEr ********** ThIs ZiNe Is FoR sHiT pUrPoSeS oNlY. i DoN't GiVe A sHiT iF yOu BrEaK tHe LaW bEcAuSe It'S yOuR aSs ThAt Is GoInG tO gEt RaPeD iN jAiL. iF yOu Do AnY oF tHiS sHiT (aNd GeT cAuGhT) YoU fUcKeD uP. iT aIn'T mUh FaUlT sO fUcK oFf! I aM NoT rEsPoNsIbLe If YoU aRe A sHiT hEaD!! (i ReAlIsE tHaT mOsT oF tHiS sHiT iSn'T iLlEgAl BuT i JuSt ThInK tHaT i ShOuLd WaRn YoU) ThE ShIt ******** 1. EdItOrIaL By: SyKo416 2. NeEd YoUr HeLp By: SyKo416 3. ThE eXtErNaL bUsY bOx By: SyKo416 4. JeWeL iN a SeX sCeNe! By: SyKo416 5. CoOl Tv TrIcK By: SyKo416 6. Go HoMe By: SyKo416 7. HoW tO sCaM aN aIrLiNe By: SyKo416 8. DeAd IsN't AlWaYs DeAd: PaRt 2 By: SyKo416 9. NeWs By: SyKo416 10. ToP TEn By: SyKo416 11. JoKeS By: SyKo416 12. LeFt OvEr ShIt By: SyKo416 ^^^^^^^^^^^ 31337 HaXoRs =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 1. EdItOrIaL ************ y0! YoU gOtTa LoVe ThIs 31337 WrItiNg. AnYwAyS, tHe WhOlE iSsUe Is LiKe ThIs, BuT dOn'T wOrRy ThE nExT iSsUe WiLl Go BaCk To NoRmAl WrItInG. (aNd Go BaCk To ScHoOl) lAtEs BtW: i DiDn'T pUt DeAd IsN't AlWaYs DeAd In HaX0r FoNt CuZ i DiDn'T fEeL lIkE iT. :Þ =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 2. NeEd YoUr HeLp ***************** If YoU hAvE aNy 1-800, Or 1-888, Or 1-877 ScAnS pLeAsE eMaIl ThEm To Me At "syko416@hotmail.com" I hAvE lOST aLl ThE sCaNs I dId, So, If YoU hAvE mY sCaNs SeNd ThEm. Me AnD sOmE fRiEnDs ArE mAkInG a WeBsItE wItH sCaNs, So PlEaSe SeNd'Em! =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 3. ThE eXtErNaL bUsY bOx ************************* Yo! ThIs FiLe WiLl TeLl YoU hOw To BuIlD aNd UsE aN eXtErNaL bUsY bOx. FiRsT oF aLl YoU nEeD tO kNoW wHaT a BuSy BoX iS, oR aT lEaSt WhAt It DoEs. A bUsY bOx Is BaSiCaLlY ThE eNd Of A pHoNe CoRd WiTh A mOdUlAr PlUg AnD tHe WiReS iNsIdE aRe StRiPpEd AnD wRaPpEd ArOuNd EaCh OtHeR. wHeN yOu PlUg It InTo A pHoNe JaCk, It CaUsEs ThE pHoNe LiNe To Go DeAd AnD aNy OnE wHo CaLlS tHe LiNe GeTs A bUsY sIgNaL (hEnCe ThE nAmE bUsY bOx) BuIlDiNg It ----------- WhAt An ExTeRnAl BuSy BoX rEaLlY iS, iS a PaIr Of AlLigaToR cLiPs. So AlL yOu HaVe To Do Is Go To An ElEctrIcAl StOrE aNd BuY a PaCk AlLiGaToR cLiPs. YoU wAnT tHe WiRe To Be VeRy ShOrT, tHe ShOrTeR tHe BeTtEr. UsInG iT -------- UsInG iT iS aLmOsT aS eAsY aS bUiLdInG iT. aLl YoU hAvE tO dO iS gO tHe BoX oN tHe SiDe Of YoUr ViCtImS hOuSe (It'S tHe SaMe BoX yOu BeIgE oFf Of) OpEn It. InSiDe YoU mUsT FiNd ThE rInG aNd TiP wIrEs (ThOsE aRe ThE wIrEs YoU aTtAcH tHe BeIgE bOx To) AnD aLl YoU hAvE tO dO iS aTtAcH oNe EnD oF tHe AlLiGaToR cLiPs To ThE rInG aNd ThE oThEr EnD, tHe TiP. tHeRe ArE 2 wAyS tO dO tHiS. hErE iN tOrOnTo, YoU jUsT hAvE tO aTtAcH tHe ClIpS tO tHe BoLtS tHe WiReS wRaP aRoUnD, bUt In OtHeR pLaCeS yOu HaVe To StRiP tHe WiRe CoVeR tO ClIp On To the bare wire. aFtEr YoU hAvE aTtAcHeD tHe ClIpS yOu PuT tHe CoVeR bAcK oN, sO iT dOeSn'T lOoK lIkE yOu WeRe ThErE. tHeN gEt ThE fUcK oUt Of ThErE. SiMpLe Eh? =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 4. JeWeL iN a SeX sCeNe! ************************ AfTeR wAtChInG tHe MuSiC vIdEo FoR "hEy GiRl HeY bOy" By ThE cHeMiCaL bRoThErS fOr ThE 50tH tImE, i NoTiCeD sOmEtHiNg, JeWeL wAs In It. NoT oNlY wAs ShE iN iT, sHe WaS iN tHe SeX sCeNe! FoR tHoSe WhO haVeN'T sEeN iT, i'Ll TrY tO eXpLaIn It. ThErE's A sCeNe WhEn A wOmAn KnOcKs A wAtEr BoTtLe UnDeR a StAlL iN tHe WaShRoOm, sHe OpEn'S tHe DoOr, AnD tHeRe'S jEwEl, GeTtInG fUcKeD bY sOmEgUy. I tHiNk JeWeL iS a NyMpHo, MaYbE sHe ShOuLd HoOk Up WiTh BrItNeY SpEaRsE :P =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 5. CoOl Tv TrIcK **************** WhIlE i WaS iN pOrTuGaL, i NoTiCeD sOmEtHiNg CoOl AbOuT mY cOuSiN's Tv. It CaN dEsCrAmBlE cHaNnElS. It Is A 13" vEsTeL cOlOuR tV. i ThInK tHe MoDeL nUmBeR iS "UKV-601" (tHaT's WhAt It SaId On ThE rEmOtE) & oN tHe ReMoTe ThErE aRe 2 BuTtOnS "eXpAnD" & "rEvEaL" bAsIcAllY, iT's LiKe FiNe TuNiNg.YoU pReSs ExPaNd To TuNe OnE wAy AnD rEvEaL tO TuNe ThE oThEr WaY, aNd It UnScRaMbLeS tHe ChAnNeL. ThE oNlY dOwN sIdE iS tHaT yOu DoN't GeT SoUnD (jUsT sTaTiC) aNd It Is In BlAcK aNd WhItE, bUt It Is StIlL pReTtY cOoL. sO nExT tImE yOu BuY a Tv, LoOk FoR tHoSe BuTtOnS. =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 6. Go HoMe *********** I gOt HoMeSiCk wHiLe In PoRtUgAl & ThEn I sAw ThE mUsIc ViDeO fOr "Go WeSt" By ThE pEt ShOp BoYs. NeEdLeEs To SaY, i WaS iNsPiReD. (NoTe: SiNg To ThE tUnE oF gO wEsT, iNcAsE yOu DiDnīT fIgUrE iT oUt) Go HoMe ItīS kInDoF pEaCeFuL tHeRe Go HoMe So, We DoNīt HaVe ClEaN aIr? Go HoMe It`S nOt A zOo Go HoMe ThAtīS wHaT iīM GoNnA dO! =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 7. HoW tO sCaM aN aIrLiNe ************************* YoU kNoW hOw WhEn YoU tAkE a LoNg TrIp In A pLaNe, ThEy ShOw A mOvIe AnD yOu HaVe To PaY $5 fOr EaRpHoNeS cUz YoU dOnīT wOrK? wElL, I fOuNd A wAy YoU cAn MaKe ThEm WoRk, AlL fOr UnDeR a BuCk. AlL yOu HaVe To Do Is Go To An ElEcTrOnIcS sToRe & BuY aN aDaPtOr. It HaS tO Be A 17/32" aDaPtOr. ThEy UsUaLlY gO fOr 50 CeNts. ThEn ThE nExT tImE yOu ArE oN a PlAnE, jUsT pUt ThE AdApToR oN yOuR eArPhOnEs, AnD yOu SaVe LiKe $4. YoU cAn EvEn SeLl SoMe To OtHeR pEoPlE oN tHe PlAnE fOr $2 Or $3. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 8. Dead Isn't Always Dead Part: 2 ********************************* "What?" Jim said in disbelief. "She's dead, man. I'm really sorry" Fred repeated. "Oh my god" Jim was still in shock and sat down "How did it happen?" "She killed herself. OD'ed on sleeping pills about a week ago" One of Jim's friends said. "No one saw it coming" Jim just sat there motionless with his mouth wide open. He just couldn't believe it. The love of his life, gone. After what seemed like an eternaty to Jim, he looked at Fred and asked him if he could take him to her grave. Fred agreed and they were on their way. The stopped once along the way, at a flourist. Jim bought 24 long steam roses. He didn't pay much attention to the flourist. Jim just openned his wallet and threw some bills at him. He seemed happy. When they got to the graveyard, Fred told Jim where Megan's grave was. "Can you take my stuff to my apartment? You have the key right?" Jim asked. "Sure, I'll drop it off for ya." Fred replied "Do you want me to come back in an hour and drive you home?" "No, that's ok. I'll just take a cab, but thanks anyway" Jim said. "Ok, but don't stay to long. Afterall, It's Devil's Night, and the Party is tonight" Fred said as he drove off. After all that had happenned, Jim had forgotten that today was halloween. It was Jim's favourite holiday, but today, it was the last thing on his mind. Jim walked down a gravel path that ran down the center of the graveyard Megan's grave was in the center, beside a giant statue of an angel. The graveyard was surrounded by a cement wall. Beyond the Wall was a think forest. The wall ran all the way around the graveyard, except for one end, there was a church there. When Jim arrived at Megan's grave, he read the inscription. It said: Here Lies Megan Poole Born 1983 Died 2005 May She Rest In Peace Jim still couldn't believe it. She was only 22. Jim started to cry silently. He placed the flowers on the grave and sat against the angel statue. He just sat there for a moment. He closed his eyes and with tears running down the sides of his face, he fell asleep. To Be Continued . . . . . =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 9.NeWs ******* WaNt To Be BaNkRuPt? ThAt'Ll Be $400, PlEaSe FrIdAy JuLy 23/99, YaHoO! nEwS LoNdOn (ReUtErS) - nOtHiNg In LiFe Is FrEe, NoT eVeN gOiNg BaNkRuPt, A bRiTiSh CoUrT rUlEd FrIdAy. BrItAiN's CoUrT oF aPpEaL dIsMiSsEd An InDeBtEd WoMaN's ClAiN sHe WaS bEiNg DeNiEd ThE rIgHt To DeClArE hErSeLf BaNkRuPt BeCaUsE sHe CoUlDn'T pAy ThE 250 pOuNdS ($400) rEqUiReD bY lAw FoR oFfIcIaL bAnKrUpTcY pRoCeEdInGs. ClEo LiGhTfOoT, 52, hAd ArGuEd ThAt ThE bAnKrUpTcY pAyMeNt LaW, wHiCh PrEvEnTeD hEr FrOm DeClArInG hErSeLf BaNkRuPt DeSpItE hEr DeBtS oF 60,000 pOuNdS ($95,000), wAs UnLaWfUl. LoRd JuStIcE sImOn BrOwN, HoWeVeR, tOlD tHe CoUrT hE cOuLd SyMpAtHiZe WiTh ThE wOmAn'S pLiGhT, sAyInG pEoPlE lIkE hEr "FaCe . . . A lIfEtImE oF uNrElIeVeD iNdEbTeDnEsS", aNd ThAt He HoPeD tHe LaW wOuLd Be ReViEwEd "In ThE mOrE cOmPaSsIoNaTe TiMeS iN wHiCh We NoW lIvE''. =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 10. ToP TEn ************ ToP tEn WaYs To KnOw YoUr GiRlFrIeNd Is UgLy (10) WhEn ShE wAs BoRn, ThE dOcToR sLaPpEd HeR mOtHeR. (9) ThE pLaStIc SuRgEoN wAnTeD tO aDd A tAiL. (8) HeR aRmPiTs LoOk LiKe ShE hAs DoN kInG iN a HeAdLoCk. (7) HeR aSs LoOkS lIkE tWo PiGs FiGhTiNg OvEr A bOx Of MiLk DuDs. (6) ShE mAkEs OnIoNs CrY. (5) On HaLlOwEeN, sHe HaS tO tRiCk Or TrEaT oVeR tHe PhOnE. (4) ShE sTaRtLeS tHe AnImAlS aT tHe ZoO. (3) EvEn MoSqUiToS sTaY aWaY fRoM hEr. (2) As A bAbY, sHe HaD tO bE bReAsT-fEd By ThE fAmIlY dOg. (1) ShE lOoKs OuT tHe wInDoW aNd GeTs ArReStEd FoR iNdEcEnT eXpOsUrE. =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 11. JoKeS ********* Magic ***** A gUy GoEs Up To A gIrL iN a BaR aNd SaYs, "YoU wAnT tO pLaY 'mAgIc'?" ShE sAyS, "wHaT's ThAt?" He SaYs, "We Go To My HoUsE aNd FuCk, AnD tHeN yOu DiSaPpEaR." =-= HoW dO yOu KnOw If YoU hAvE a HiGh SpErM cOuNt? YoUr DaTe HaS tO cHeW bEfOrE sHe SwAlLoWs. =-= HoW iS tHe cArD gAmE bRiDgE aNd SeX aLiKe? If YoU dOn'T hAvE a GoOd PaRtNeR tHeN yOu BeTtEr HaVe A gOoD hAnD. =-= WhAt Is ThE dIfFeReNcE bEtWeEn A 69 aNd DrIvInG iN tHe FoG? WhEn DrIvInG iN tHe FoG yOu CaN't SeE tHe AsShOlE iN fRoNt Of YoU . . . . =-= WhY aReN't YoU aSlEeP? I'm ToO tIrEd! =-= WhAt Is A mAn'S iDeA oF pRoTeCtEd SeX? A pAdDeD hEaDbOaRd. =-= WhAt'S tHe DeFiNiTiOn Of "InDeCeNt"? WhEn It'S iN lOnG, iN hArD, aNd In DeEp, It'S iN dEcEnT. =-= WhAt Do A cLiToRiS, aN aNnIvErSaRy AnD a ToIlEt HaVe In CoMmOn? MeN uSuAlLy MiSs ThEm. =-= MaN: "i'D rEaLlY lIkE tO gEt InTo YoUr PaNtS." WoMaN: "No ThAnKs. ThErE's AlReAdY oNe AsShOlE iN tHeRe." =-= WhAt Do MeN aNd TiLe FlOoRs HaVe In CoMmOn? If YoU lAy ThEm WeLl, YoU cAn WaLk On ThEm FoR yEaRs. =-= HiM: "wHy CaN't I tElL wHeN yOu HaVe An OrGaSm?" HeR: "bEcAuSe YoU'rE nEvEr HoMe WhEn It HaPpEnS." =-= ThReE wOrDs MoSt HaTeD bY mEn DuRiNg SeX: "aRe YoU dOnE? " ThReE wOrDs WoMeN hAtE tO hEaR wHeN hAvInG sEx: "HoNeY, i'M hOmE!" =-= WhAt'S tHe DiFfErEnCe BeTwEeN pEe-WeE hErMaN aNd O.j.? It OnLy ToOk 12 JeRkS tO gEt O.j. OfF. =-= WhO mAkEs MoRe MoNeY a DrUgDeAlEr Or A hOoKeR? A hOoKeR bEcAuSe ShE cAn WaSh HeR cRaCk AnD rEuSe It. =-= HoW iS a CoNdOm LiKe A kOdAk PrInt? ThEy BoTh CaPtUrE tHaT sPeCiAl MoMeNt. =-= WhY dOn'T bLoNdEs In SaN fRaNcIsCo WeAr ShOrT bLaCk MiNi SkIrTs? CaUsE tHeIr BaLlS sHoW! =-= WhY dO iTaLiAn MeN hAvE mUsTaChEs? So ThEy CaN lOoK lIkE tHeIr MoThErS. =-= WhY dOn'T tHeY tEaCh DrIvEr'S Ed AnD sEx Ed On ThE sAmE dAy In IrAq? ThEy DoN't WaNt To WeAr OuT tHe CaMeL. =-= A bLaCk AnD a PuErTo RiCaN aRe In ThE sAmE cAr, WhO's DrIvInG? ThE pOlIcEmAn =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 12. LeFt OvEr ShIt ****************** Is ThErE aNyThInG wRoSt ThEn ShIt? YeAh, LeFt OvEr ShIt, SuCkA! So HeRe It Is: WaNt Be CoMe FaMoUs? wRiTe FoR sYkOtIc TiMeS! sEnD yOuR aRtIcLeS tO: syko416@hotmail.com I pUt AnytHiNg/EvErYtHiNg In HeRe. ViSiT : http://www.deathsdoor.com/syko IrC hAnG oUtS: EfNeT - #ch4x, #hackcanada ShOuT oUtS t0: AlL tHe PeEpS rEaDiN' tHiS In NeXt IsSuE: bAcK tO sChOoL @#$%! StReEt DaTe: SePtEmBeR 1/99