*********************************************** ** Sykotic ** ** Times ** ** Issue # 20 ** ** Halloween 1999 ** ** http://www.deathsdoor.com/syko ** *********************************************** DISCLAIMER ********** This zine is for shit purposes only. I don't give a shit if you break the law because it's YOUR ass that is going to get raped in jail. If you do any of this shit (and get caught) YOU fucked up. it ain't muh fault so fuck off! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE IF YOU ARE A SHIT HEAD!! (I realise that most of this shit isn't illegal but I just think that I should warn you) The Shit ******** 1. Editorial by: Syko416 2. Ghosts Around Toronto by: Syko416 3. Courtroom 33 by: Sick and Twisted Productions 4. Fun at Sporting Events by: Derelict 5. Tricks On Trick-Or-Treaters by: Syko416 6. Classic Ghost Stories by: Edgar Allen Poe 7. Creatures Of The Night by: Syko416 8. Dead Isn't Always Dead: Part 6 by: Syko416 9. News by: Syko416 10. Top Ten by: Syko416 11. Jokes by: Syko416 12. Left Over Shit by: Syko416 ^^^^^^^ Friends Of The Grim Reapper =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 1. Editorial ************ Hey! Hey! Hey! Look at that, Halloween is already here! Halloween is my favourite holiday (if you can all it a holiday) It's the only time of the year that you can go door to door and get FREE candy!!! Plus there's Tons of Horror movies on TV the week of Halloween. But the best thing about Halloween has to be: THE SIMPSONS' HALLOWEEN SPECIALS!!!! (what were you expecting?) In this issue, there is mostly stuff that have something to do with Halloween (like scary stories, halloween jokes, and real ghosts) The only thing that isn't about halloween, is Having Fun at Sporting Events, but I put that in here cuz football season has just started and so has Hockey season so you can do that at the games. Enjoy the Issue! A word of warning: If you actually go out the places that are said to be haunted, watch out. I am not saying this to try to scare you. This is not bull shit. Be warned, even if you don't believe it. =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 2. Ghosts Around Toronto ************************ All the information in this file was taken from Toronto Ghosts and Hauntings Research Society's Website (http://www.torontoghosts.org) In this article I am going to tell you about some haunted areas in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) There are lots of ghosts in the GTA (about 100 or so) I am just going to tell you about some of the more famous ones. If you want to find out more ghosts around Toronto (they also have in other places in Ontario) please go to this website: http://www.torontoghosts.org The Former Lakeshore Psychiatric Hospital (in Etobicoke) ******************************************************** The author of this email would like to remain nameless. The author was working as a security officer in the building after a well known College had taken control of the hospital. The author had heard all sorts of odd stories and rumours that they did not believe. These stories inculded the rumour that shortly after three of the old buildings were renovated, a couple of students went to explore the tunnels that connected the buildings. After the students had been poking around some of the empty rooms, they went back towards the stairs and heard what sounded like someone whistling. The sound came from behind them, but when they turned around it stopped. As they reached the stairs leading up they heard it again, followed by a cold gust of wind. Another story that got around involved one of the construction workers who was doing some work in the same tunnels. He was walking through the dim hallway when he rounded a corner and saw a woman walking ahead of him. He thought this was odd since it was late and there was nobody else around. the wokman then noticed she was wearing a nurses outfit. The workman called out to her, but she rounded the corner and disappered. He followed and now saw her standing with her back to him at the far end of the hall. there was no way she could moved that far in the time he lost sight of her. He approached her cautiously and called out again. Slowly the woman turned around and faced him. The hapless workman was mortified to see that she had no face and only a flat blank area where one should have been. He ran from the apparition and refused to go back into the tunnels. The author took these stories as "made up to scare people", and had no reservations when they were posted to midnight shift at the renovated buildings. The first few nights were uneventful, but they did find it to be very unerving in some areas. (One of the buildings still has the old morgue in the basement which didn't add to the comfort of the author.) On the third night, they had locked all the buildings and set the alarm systems when the author began to patrol the grounds. While walking by one of the buildings that they had locked earlier, The author thought they saw movement behind one of the windows. After shining a flashlight at the window they saw nothing out of the ordinary. If there was anyone inside, the motion sensors installed in the building would have been tripped off. The author decided to check the building just to make sure there was no one inside. After turning off the alarm systems, they entered the building. Just before switching on the lights there was heard a loud noise that sounded something like a "whack". The lights came on and the author noted a plastic garbage can lid (the kind that flip around) going around and around as if someone had hit it hard. they contacted the other guard who was stationed at the campus next door and informed him they had an intruder in one of the buildings. The guard stayed on the radio with the other guard while they checked the building from top to bottom but found nothing. Every room was vacant and there was only a fire exit which would have sounded an alarm if used. The author checked the garbage can thinking maybe there was a mouse or something, but it was empty having been given a fresh bag from the cleaners. The author told the other guard that there was no one there and went to leave the building. As the author went to turn off the lights they heard an audible sigh come from the stairway. There was no one there yet the author had the distinct impression of someone standing there staring at them. They shut off the lights and left the building in "one hell of a hurry". The next day, the author was transfered back to the day shift much to their own relief. This is an email submitted from Tamara I was in the Asylum at Lakeshore (Etobicoke), it gave me some very bad vibes, you kind of absorb a little of the fear and hate and anger and confusion that the old patients left behind like a residue. Anyone even slightly sensitive will tell you that, and add that you frequently feel like you're watched, or that any second you will "see" the place as it was. That is one creeeepy place. I remember mentioning that to someone working in the crew of a Police Academy movie, or something like that who was working down there and he said that there were all kinds of stories among the crew about wierd hauntings there. There are old hospital beds everywhere, piled into corners of large rooms with high ceilings. The tunnels underground scare me from the outside, I feel that possibly something still uses them. That place gives you the same feeling as watching The Shining, it's just chilling. What gives me the creeps is that the patients there were very disturbed and tortured while there (restraints, drugs, shock therapy, experiments). If there are a few patients still floating around, it's kinda scary that they are possibly insane ghosts instead of "normal" ones. I would seriously wonder about what walks those tunnels, they sort of grab your attention. And there are some very wierd vibes in the wards. Gibraltar Point Lighthouse -- Toronto Island ******************************************** The parks system at Toronto Island is truly one of the most spectacular in the city. Everything from the Centreville amusement park -- with it's Haunted Barrel Ride-- to a small community can be found here, and on a warm summer's day, it is probably one of the most interesting walks one can take. The island also contains some sites of historical significance, including a blockhouse that protected the harbour during the War of 1812 between the Americans and the British (Canadians), the ballpark where Babe Ruth smacked his first professional home run against the Toronto Maple Leafs baseball team, and the infamous Gibraltar Point Lighthouse. It is not often that you run into a historic site that has a plaque telling of a ghost (especially in Ontario!) but here is one of the very few exceptions to that rule. The plaque states that the first lighthouse keeper disappeared mysteriously and that the site is rumoured to be haunted. The story goes that Mr. John Paul Rademuller was the first lighthouse keeper, and that during those temperate years shortly following the war with America, Mr. Rademuller was a brewer of bootleg beer. Two drunken soldiers made their way to the lighthouse to partake of the illegal brew; however, when Rademuller refused them his custom, they clocked him over the head and killed him. To cover their crime, they dismembered his body and planted poor old John Paul all around his lighthouse. The story goes that on dark and stormy nights, John Paul Rademuller can be seen trekking up to light his beacon. On other nights (or in other stories), his spectre (apparition) can be seen looking for his lost limbs. To add some credence to this story, lighthouse keeper George Durnan unearthed some bones near the structure in 1893. Mackenzie House *************** This boxy, middle-class Georgian home is reputed to be the most haunted house in Toronto-- possibly the most haunted house in Canada.This is the historic home of Toronto's first mayor and rebel, the firebrand William Lyon Mackenzie; however, Mackenzie only resided in the home for about two years, from 1859 to 1861 when he passed away in his bedroom on the second floor. Still, there are reported instances of eerie reminders of both Mackenzie, his wife and some children. The apparition of a small, bald man in a wig and frock coat is often seen around the home, especially in the third floor bedroom. This would be an apt description of the former famous occupant. Also, a woman with long hair has been spotted around the second and third floor areas. Cold spots and such poltergeist activity as footsteps and the printing press in the basement starting up have been supposedly reported by the staff and many of the tourists. Apparently, one of the more interesting things is the ghosts' reported near obsession with something that is relatively new in the house... the indoor plumbing. Toilets flush spontaneously and taps are regularly turned on. The staff were very friendly and accomodating and have many excellent sources of literature on the "ghostly" topic. One piece of literature I picked up was "The Haunting of MacKenzie House & The Spirit of MacKenzie" written by Chris Raible of Creemore, Ontario. One of the many things I was not aware of was the exorcism of the ghost by Anglican Archdeacon John Frank with Telegram reporter Aubrey Wice. After this instance in late 1960, the ownership of the home was transferred from the non-profit group running it to the City of Toronto and listed in the inventory of the house's contents was "One Ghost (exorcised)". This would be only the second occurance of ghosts being listed by official government document. (See The Toronto Island Lighthouse's Plaque). Are there ghosts in MacKenzie house? Who knows... Not much death can be reported here but history does come alive when you visit. I would strongly suggest a step back into the past to find out about our history by spending a great afternoon or morning at this historic venue. To visit, call 416-392-6915 for details. It is well worth the trip. Visit Heritage Toronto's WebSite (http://www.torontohistory.on.ca/) Located in downtown Toronto at 82 Bond Street, two blocks east of the Eaton Centre. Guided tours available. Admission: $3.50/Adults, Old City Hall - Downtown Toronto ********************************* Built in the late 1890s, and once the head seat of the Municipality of Toronto and County of York, this building now serves the city as its municipal courts. The city's departments were moved to the modern buildings just west of this gothic pile of gargoyles and pillars. What's in this old building that interests us? Easy! Stories reverberate of all types of different ghostly activity. The rear staircase has a poltergeist that seems to enjoy tugging at judges' robes as well as walking up and down the stairs where its footsteps can still be heard. The cellars acted at one time as a holding centre for prisoners and the moans of the incarcerated have been heard as well. The northwest attic is also a spot where a presence is felt, but no one is quite sure what it is. Courtroom 33 is said to be haunted by the spirits of the last men condemned to hang in Canada. This is where the spirits are said to be the strongest and it is almost a tradition for someone in the press to attempt to spend the night on Halloween. In John Robert Colombo's book "Haunted Toronto",he tells of a pair of stout reporters that almost managed to spend the night but gave in by 4am. The reporters told of "cool fogs" and weird noises that left them, at times, glued to the floor. (see Article #3, Courtroom 33) =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 3. Courtroom 33 *************** On December 11, 1962, Toronto newspapers reported that at 12:18am at the Don Jail, Arthur Lucas and Ronald Turpin were pronounced dead. Lucas and Turpin were the last men in Canada to be sentenced to death and hanged. Although Lucas, a 54 year old man from Detroit, and Turpin, a 29 year old man of Toronto, were sentenced a month apart for different crimes, their fates were sealed in the same courtroom of Old City Hall. Old City Hall reportedly has more ghosts per square foot than any other building in Toronto. Nightwatchmen, caretakers, and other personnel all claim to hear and see strange things. Reporter Robert Brehl noted, "...Courtroom 33. That's where most of the 'ghosts' congregate..." Night foreman Dennis McTernan told journalist Jane Widerman in 1978, "You hear footsteps all over the place...Things put on top of filing cabinets are on the floor an hour later." More than 50 ghosts have been seen on any given night, making Old City Hall the most haunted building in Toronto. To this day it is believed that the angry and defiant ghosts of Ronald Turpin and Arthur Lucas haunt Old City Hall and the very room in which they were both sentenced - Courtroom 33. The cases of Arthur Lucas and Ronald Turpin were not as simple as they may have seemed at the time of their trials. Lucas had been convicted of the murder of Thorland Crater, a Toronto pimp, in May of 1962. Dr. Kevin Mooney's assessment of Lucas found that Lucas was incapable of planning a murder, due, among other psychological factors, to Lucas's borderline I.Q. of 63. The evidence presented against Lucas was mostly hearsay, and Lucas' lawyer was convinced that people had lied to police. He believed that someone with more motive (possibly the original suspect in the case) had shadowed Lucas to Toronto, waited for him to leave, and then killed Crater. Turpin's case began at a party. Turpin came to the aid of Della Burns, the party's hostess, when a stranger came to her door and fired his gun. Two shots were fired but both missed. According to Burns, Turpin wrestled the gun away from the assailant. Although this story was corroborated by most of the guests, one attendee identified Turpin as the shooter. Strangely, that one statement was all the police needed to hunt down Turpin. On the run with his girlfriend, Turpin became increasingly paranoid that he was being set up after telephone conversations with investigators, and in his first run-in with police months later, a gun battle erupted and Const. Frederick Nash was shot and killed. Turpin was arrested at the scene and charged with Nash's murder. Two-thousand pages of evidence were presented at his trial, most of it contradictory and biased. On December 10th at 11:00 PM, one hour before the two men were to be executed a group of protestors gathered outside the Don Jail. The issue of capital punishment had long been in debate and many people rallied to save Lucas and Turpin from being executed. Brigadier Cyril Everitt of the Salvation Army spent a great deal of time with the two inmates in their vomit-coloured cell in the days leading up to their execution. Reading Psalm 23 aloud to the men, he was asked to leave the room when the hanging went horribly wrong. While Turpin went "cleanly," the hangman had used too much rope for Lucas's weight. When his body dropped through the trap doors, the rope sliced into his neck, leaving only the sinews in his neck keeping his head attached to his body. There was blood everywhere. Three years after Lucas and Turpin were hanged reports of strange things going on at Old City Hall began to emerge. Judge S. Tupper Bigelow and Judge Peter Wilch informed the press that they each had heard strange footsteps in the halls when no one was there. Also, as Bigelow walked up and down the judges' private staircase he occasionally felt someone or something tugging at his robes. Cleaners refuse to work in and around Courtroom 33, as tools and cleaning supplies left neatly stacked are later found scattered on the floor, and temperatures suddenly drop 20°. Is it possible that the ghosts of Arthur Lucas and Ronald Turpin haunt Courtroom 33? In a Toronto Star report on the haunted buildings of Toronto, Stefan Scaini wrote that, "Parapsychologists suggest that intense emotions can embed themselves in the walls and furniture of a building." If Lucas and Turpin felt that they were wrongly executed it would make perfect sense then that their unrest would cause their souls to linger. "Courtroom 33" will document both Lucas and Turpin's cases through interviews with those close to them at the time of their trials. It will introduce viewers to the real meaning of "hauntings" through interviews with mediums and parapsychologists, and attempt to bring evidence to their existence through interviews with witnesses to the strange phenomena at Old City Hall. No attempts to stay one whole night in Courtroom 33 have ever been successful, but an overnight vigil in Courtroom 33 at Old City Hall will bring the documentary to a close, with verification of the haunting on tape. For more information please visit: http://www.welcome.to/courtroom33 =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 4. Fun at Sporting Events * by: Derelict * **************************** At some point in time, we're all going to end up as the spectator at a sporting event. Now, when this time comes, you're gonna want to make yourself heard. Your goal is to make a complete fool of yourself in front of the large crowd. You want to make the other spectators upset. Make it an un-enjoyable event for them. First of all, make sure you have not a care in the world for the outcome of the game. One of your main targets is the referee, umpire, whoever is in charge. No matter what the call is, good, bad, whatever, you MUST disagree with it. Voice your disapproval. Make sure the other fans and the contendors hear your every word. Now, don't just stop there. Somehow, the referee's weight, height, appearance, and way of walking have had an outcome on the call. Make sure he knows this. Next, the players need to bother you in some way. In a loud, screaming voice, announce your opinion on the way he plays. Begin to mockingly chant his name over and over. Now criticize the coach on his ability to manage a team. Yell and scream out what you think he should be doing. Make sure you never refer to a team by their name. Always by their color. Yell and chant "Let's go white!(or whatever color)" A few minutes later, begin to cheer for the other team's color. Switch back and forth as much as possible. Call the ref fat again. If this is a baseball game you're at, begin to sing "take me out to the ball game", so that the whole crowd and field can hear you. Next, be sure to sit next to someone, if not several people. Buy as much food as possible and eat like a pig. Burp, slurp, and ask them to hold things for you. While chewing loudly, with your mouth open of course, turn your face right next to the other guy's and try to start friendly conversation. Make sure the food in your mouth is clearly visible to him. Spill as much as possible. Get excited over boring plays. If you can, go down to the bottom of the stands, in everyone's view, and dance clumsily for the crowd. =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 5. Tricks On Trick-Or-Treaters ****************************** Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.) Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound. After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill. Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don't move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away. When you answer the door, hold up one candybar, throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!" When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and runaround the house, screaming until they go away. Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give them any candy. Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list. Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house. When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can. Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar. Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter. Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay. Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M's and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a few seconds, and insist that you don't have any candy. Hand out cigarettes and bottles of asprin. Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch. Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin. Dress up like a bunny rabbit. Yell and curse from the moment you open the door, and angrily throw the candy at the trick-or-treaters. Slam the door when you're finished. =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 6. Classic Ghost Stories * By: Edgar Allen Poe * ************************** This stories were actually writing by the Late Great Edgar Allen Poe. There are 3 stories, The Haunted Palace, Spirits Of the Dead, and the classic The Raven. The Haunted Palace ****************** In the greenest of our valleys By good angels tenanted, Once a fair and stately palace- Radiant palace- reared its head. In the monarch Thought's dominion- It stood there! Never seraph spread a pinion Over fabric half so fair! Banners yellow, glorious, golden, On its roof did float and flow, (This- all this- was in the olden Time long ago,) And every gentle air that dallied, In that sweet day, Along the ramparts plumed and pallid, A winged odor went away. Wanderers in that happy valley, Through two luminous windows, saw Spirits moving musically, To a lute's well-tuned law, Round about a throne where, sitting (Porphyrogene!) In state his glory well-befitting, The ruler of the realm was seen. And all with pearl and ruby glowing Was the fair palace door, Through which came flowing, flowing, flowing, And sparkling evermore, A troop of Echoes, whose sweet duty Was but to sing, In voices of surpassing beauty, The wit and wisdom of their king. But evil things, in robes of sorrow, Assailed the monarch's high estate. (Ah, let us mourn!- for never morrow Shall dawn upon him desolate!) And round about his home the glory That blushed and bloomed, Is but a dim-remembered story Of the old time entombed. And travellers, now, within that valley, Through the red-litten windows see Vast forms, that move fantastically To a discordant melody, While, like a ghastly rapid river, Through the pale door A hideous throng rush out forever And laugh- but smile no more. Spirits of the Dead ******************* Thy soul shall find itself alone 'Mid dark thoughts of the grey tomb-stone; Not one, of all the crowd, to pry Into thine hour of secrecy. Be silent in that solitude, Which is not loneliness- for then The spirits of the dead, who stood In life before thee, are again In death around thee, and their will Shall overshadow thee; be still. The night, though clear, shall frown, And the stars shall not look down From their high thrones in the Heaven With light like hope to mortals given, But their red orbs, without beam, To thy weariness shall seem As a burning and a fever Which would cling to thee for ever. Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish, Now are visions ne'er to vanish; From thy spirit shall they pass No more, like dew-drop from the grass. The breeze, the breath of God, is still, And the mist upon the hill Shadowy, shadowy, yet unbroken, Is a symbol and a token. How it hangs upon the trees, A mystery of mysteries! The Raven ********* Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. "'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door- Only this, and nothing more." Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow;- vainly I had sought to borrow From my books surcease of sorrow- sorrow for the lost Lenore- For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore- Nameless here for evermore. And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain Thrilled me- filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating, "'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door- Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;- This it is, and nothing more." Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, "Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you"- here I opened wide the door;- Darkness there, and nothing more. Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!" This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"- Merely this, and nothing more. Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before. "Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice: Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore- Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;- 'Tis the wind and nothing more." Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore; Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door- Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door- Perched, and sat, and nothing more. Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore. "Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven, Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore- Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!" Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, Though its answer little meaning- little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door- Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as "Nevermore." But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing further then he uttered- not a feather then he fluttered- Till I scarcely more than muttered, "other friends have flown before- On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before." Then the bird said, "Nevermore." Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, "Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store, Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore- Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore Of 'Never- nevermore'." But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling, Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door; Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore- What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking "Nevermore." This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er, But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er, She shall press, ah, nevermore! Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor. "Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee- by these angels he hath sent thee Respite- respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore! Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!" Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." "Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!- prophet still, if bird or devil!- Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted- On this home by horror haunted- tell me truly, I implore- Is there- is there balm in Gilead?- tell me- tell me, I implore!" Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." "Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil- prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us- by that God we both adore- Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore- Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore." Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." "Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend," I shrieked, upstarting- "Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the bust above my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!" Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted- nevermore! =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 7. Creatures Of The Night ************************* Be weary of the night Believe the hype About the creatures that steal the light Who just want a bite They will give you a fright And you'll try to fight But they got the hieght And all the might They'll String you up like a kite Those evil creatures of the night Do you think you'll be alright? Can you with stand a bite? Think you'll survive the fight? So prepare and wear white Cuz it will take all your might To fight Those creatures of the night =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 8. Dead Isn't Always Dead: Part 6 ********************************* Jim just stared at the all of zombies coming towards them. Rex started shooting some of them. "NO!" Jim screamed ask he jumped on Rex and pointed the gun away from the zombies. "What the fuck are you doing?" Rex yelled as he pushed Jim off of him. "You can't shoot them" Jim said as he got back on his feet "Why not?" Rex asked as he stood up. "The one leading them all is, well, was my girlfriend, and I won't let you kill her." Jim said as the zombies moved closer. "First of all, she's dead, and if we don't stop her, they will kill us, understand?" Rex yelled as he picked up his gun and pointed it at Meg. Before Jim could react, some zombies popped up out from behind a tombstone, and grabbed Rex. They were too powerful for Rex. Jim tried to help but one of them hit Jim in the head and Jim fell towards the wall of zombies. Jim looked at the zombies coming towards him, they were only 20 feet away. Jim then heard a loud scream that made his blood run cold. He looked back towards Rex and saw that one of the zombies had bitten his neck. The front of his jumpsuit was covered with his blood. "Save yourself" Rex moaned as he threw the gun towards Jim. Jim grabbed the gun and turned around and pointed the gun at Megan as she walked towards him. "Stop!" Jim yelled at Megan "Please, Stop!" tears started to roll down Jim's cheeks. "Shoot her!" Rex said with his last ounce of strength. Jim heard Rex scream again and then he looked back towards him and saw Rex's body fall to the ground. He looked back towards Megan just in time to see her push the gun and his arms out of the way and take a bite of his neck. Jim let a scream and pushed Megan. He was weak and could only push he back few feet. Jim collapsed on to his back. He looked up and saw Megan standing over him. Her lips and lower jaw were covered with his blood. The rest of the Zombies swarmed down on him and all started biting him everywhere. Jim looked up and saw that Megan was smiling. "Happy Halloween" She said as she started laughing. Jim looked around him and saw that everyone else was laughing too. He even recognized some people. "It was all a Halloween prank" she said as all the zombies stood up, and took off their masks. Jim still in shock looked back at Rex. He was slowly getting up too. "That's Rex, he sat next to me in Math Class" she continued "But you bit me" Jim said as he felt his name. There was blood but he couldn't find a wound. "No, it was just some blood caps that I had in my mouth." Jim's heart was still going very fast. "But the tombstone?" Jim said pointing at it One of Meg's friends walked over and pulled it out of the ground. It was made of Styrofoam. "I got it engraved for $10 at the party store on the corner" She explained. "What about the gun?" he asked Meg picked up the gun and pointed it at her head. She took a breath a pulled the trigger. "NOOOOOOO!!" Jim yelled. BANG! Megan staggered backwards and then started to laugh. "They were blanks, funny eh Jim?" Jim just lay there, not moving. "Jim?" she said. One of her friends checked his pulse "He's dead," she said. Jim had had a heart attack. He couldn't take the thought of Megan shooting herself in the head. It was too much for him. The next day he was buried in the spot where Megan's fake tombstone was and every year, they say that if you go to the graveyard On Halloween night, you can still hear him scream NOOOO! The End What did you think of the story? Send Comments to Syko416@hotmail.com =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 9.News ******* I don't feel like typing, therefore, no news :P =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 10. Top Ten ************ Top Ten Reasons That Trick-or-Treating Is Better Than Sex 10. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door! 9. Less guilt the next morning. 8. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning. 7. If you wear a Bill Clinton mask, no one thinks you're kinky. 6. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last nine months. 5. Person you are with doesn't fantasize you're someone else. 4. You don't have to compliment the person who gave it to you. 3. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. 2. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go at it again. 1. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 11. Jokes ********* Good In Bed *********** A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. "What took you so long to answer?" "I was in bed." "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion." Lonely ****** There was an army camp in India that just received a new commander. During the new commanders first inspection everything checked out except one thing. There was a camel tied to a tree on the edge of the camp. The commander asked what it was for, one of the soldiers who had been stationed there for a while explained to him that the men sometimes get lonely since there where no woman there so they have the camel. The commander just let that go, but after a few weeks he was feeling very lonely so he ordered the men to bring the camel into his tent. The men delivered the camel, and he went to work on it. After about an hour the commander came out zipped up his pants and said,"So is that how the other men do it?" One of the men responded, "No we usually just use the camel to ride into town." So Ironic! ********** Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful, how does it feel to freeze to death?" says the first. "It's very uncomfortable at first, you get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How did you die?" says the second. "I had a heart attack", says the first guy. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic" he says. "What do you mean?" asks the first man. "If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive!" Three Nuns... ************* Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines." "What did you do?" the other nuns asked. "Well, of course I threw them in the trash." The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!" "Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked. "I poked holes in all of them!" she replied. The third nun fainted. Freudian Slip ************* Two guys are drinking at a bar. The first says "Do you ever start thinking about something, and when you go to talk, you say something you don't mean?" The Second guy says "Yeah, I was at the airport buying plane tickets, and the chick behind the counter had these huge tits, and instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh' I asked for 'two tickets to Titsburgh'. The First guy says, "Yeah, well I was having breakfast with my wife last week, and instead of saying 'Honey can you please pass me the sugar?', I said 'You've ruined my life you FUCKING BITCH' =-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------= 12. Left Over Shit ****************** Is there anything wrost then shit? yeah, left over shit, sucka! So here it is: Want be come famous? Write for Sykotic Times! Send your articles to: syko416@hotmail.com I put anything/everything in here. Visit : http://www.deathsdoor.com/syko http://www.welcome.to/courtroom33 http://www.torontoghosts.org Shout outs to: peeps In next issue: November Issue (who didn't see that one coming a mile away?) Street date: November 1/99