T-Shirt Follies

by The Roach

At one of the Washington D.C. 2600 meetings, I bought one of the 2600 t-shirts.  I thought, "Hey, this shirt is cool, I'll wear it for fun... better than a shirt that says something like 'f*ck you' on it."  Well, I think I would have had a better time with the 'f*ck you' shirt.  I have never been harassed so much in my life over anything.  But the shirt did it.  Lemme tell you.

Episode One

Two days after the meeting, I wore the shirt to a mall.  I was with some friends.  We were all having a fun time, laughing, buying stuff.  (At least my friends were.  You know the myth... we hackers have no money).  Well, one of my friends had to make a phone call.  So we all stopped by a payphone, and we waited while she made the phone call.  A few minutes later, she started fighting with her mother over the phone, and so the call started to take over five minutes.  By this time, I was really bored, so I started playing with a payphone right next to the one my friend was on.

A short time later, a guard came up to me, and said, "Sorry, but you have to come with me."  I said, "Hey, what did I do?  I'm not doing anything to harm anyone."  The guard pointed to my shirt and told me I was probably doing something illegal and I had to come with him.  I wrangled words with him for awhile, telling him I was doing nothing but trying to overcome boredom.  I even told him to clean out my pockets to emphasize I had nothing on me.  (Now I know I shouldn't have done that.  It "showed my guilt".)  He checked my pockets and he still wanted me to come with him.  I told him no.  So he took me firmly by the arm, and we walked off.

So we went down to his "guarding domain," and he said he had to call my parents.  I told him I wasn't going to tell him anything since I had done nothing wrong.  After a while, I told him if he didn't let me go, I was going to yell and scream.  He looked dubious, so I started to throw a tantrum.  The guard got embarrassed, and immediately I was taken out of his "domain."  He told another guard to take me to my friends.  We all got kicked out of the mall.

Episode Two

Then I had another had experience.  I was at a bookstore, reading a sportscard magazine.  I finally put down the magazine, so I could go to the fantasy/sci-fi section.  On the to the fantasy section, a woman came up to me and asked what the shirt was for.  I told her that it was just a silly shirt about hackers.  She then asked me if I knew anything about hacking.  Well, at this point, I started to act dumb, so I couldn't be crucified for anything later on, remembering the mall incident.  I told her, yeah, I know about hacking in general, but as much as John Q. Public did.  She then got really persistent, and started to ask me more questions, tinged with malevolence.

By this time, I was acting bewildered and said, "Please miss, I just bought the t-shirt cuz I thought it was neat.  I really don't know anything about hacking."  For some reason this statement got her really irate, and she started to yell at me.  I walked away, but she started following behind me.  I couldn't seem to lose this woman.  I never got her name, but it must have been something like "Hope," or "Grace," or some religious name, for she started quoting bible scriptures at me, telling me I was going to go to Hell for my sins, and that I should confess now before it was too late.

By this time, everyone in the bookstore was staring at both of us, and I was really embarrassed.  I walked out of the bookstore, and went to another shop where my family was.  The bitch didn't follow me out of the bookstore.

Episode Three

One incident I had with the shirt was funny.  A teenager of about 17 asked me about the shirt, and where he could get one.  I told him that you can usually buy one in the 2600 Magazine, or sometimes at the 2600 meeting.  The teenager told me that he lived out in "the middle of nowhere," and he then asked me if he could buy the one I was wearing.  I smiled, and said, "No, this is the only one I have.  Money won't get the shirt off my back."  The guy gave up, and gave me a pitiful smile.  So I asked him if he had an Internet address of some kind.  He said yes.  I then gave him the email address of 2600, and told him to try and get one from there.  He then smiled, and said thank you.

I've had a couple more incidents with the shirt, but of no great consequence.  I still am wearing the shirt, but I can't seem to wear it to school without being kicked out of the computer room.  Oh well, you win some, you lose some.