Social Engineering Your Way Out of Boot Camp

by InVerse [MoS]

Recently, I've noticed a disturbing trend as more and more members of the underground turn to the military as an escape from investigation and impending prosecution.

As an unfortunate follower of this foolish trend, I speak from experience when I say that the armed forces are not always the most desirable alternative.

Luckily, I came across a technique that will guarantee you a plane ticket home and an honorable discharge.  All it requires on your part is a small amount of social engineering and a very large amount of patience.

It's surprising how prevalent social engineering is in the military.  Even before you enlist, your recruiter is SEing you.  (The bastards go to a special school to learn the skill that hacker/phreaks have mastered for well over a decade.)  In fact, basic training itself is nothing but SE.  Once you learn the little mind games, you're home free.

Let me take a moment right now to state that the method described here was developed at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot (MCRD) in San Diego, California.  Due to the sensitive nature of the subjects dealt with, as well as the generally uniform amount of bureaucratic bullshit that exists within the military, I believe that the techniques contained forthwith will work within any branch of the services.  The details might change slightly, but your own actions should need little or no modification.

Let me give you a little bit of background information that led to the writing of this text and then I'll go into the specific details.

I had a teensy difference of opinion with AT&T, so suffering from a lack of money and excess of paranoia, I soon found myself flying the friendly skies en route to MCRD.  Boot camp itself wasn't so bad, but it didn't take me long to realize that this wasn't how I wanted to spend the next four years of my life.  I came up with this technique, called Suicidal Ideations or SI, in hopes that it would buy me some time until I could think of a better plan.  Surprisingly, it worked so well that before I could develop that better plan, I was already on my way out the door.

Before I left, my Drill Instructor (DI) had a little talk with me.  He asked me where I learned about SI.  He seemed to think that there was a conspiracy going around involving Recruit Separation Platoon (RSP) troops teaching the new recruits ways to get out of boot camp.  RSP is made up of all the recruits that for some reason or another are being sent home from basic training.

Well, needless to say, there was no such conspiracy.  But even while he was grilling me about it, the seeds for this article were already being planted in my mind.  In fact, the original version, which was posted on alt.2600, was written while I was still on the base.

All right... enough chit-chat.  I'll get to the point now.  Suicidal Ideations means that you've thought about killing yourself Not that you've attempted it, mind you.  That'll get you in a whole mess of stuff you don't want to be involved with.  SI means you've thought about it and nothing more.

Now if you were to commit suicide while in basic training, the military would be in big trouble.  Multimillion dollar lawsuits, federal investigations, etc.  So as soon as they find out a recruit is suicidal, they want said recruit out of their hands as soon as bureaucratically possible.

The tricky part is letting them know that you are suicidal and doing it convincingly.  You could just walk up to your drill instructor and announce "I want to kill myself."  I've seen people do it, and it works, but there's going to be an element of disbelief and things go much smoother if you put just a little bit of effort into it (i.e., use social engineering).

The best way to convince your drill instructors that you are truly suicidal is not by telling them yourself, but by having other recruits tell them for you.  And to make it even more believable (and to protect yourself from narcs), it's even better to actually convince said recruits that you want to kill yourself as well.

Once you've managed to SE a couple of recruits into believing you might attempt suicide, they should go to the senior drill instructor and tell them what's going on.  In the Marines, at least, this subject was specifically covered by our drill instructors.  Once the recruits have voiced their fears to the senior DI, you will be called into his office.

He'll tell you that some recruits have told him that they were worried about you and tell you what was said.  He most likely won't mention names, so don't slip and let on that you know who it was.  Just play it cool and answer his questions.  Don't try to act all freaked out like you might try something at any minute, because DIs are edgy enough as it is.  Simply say that you have been having some bouts of depression and that during these times, you've thought about killing yourself.

The Senior DI will make you promise not to do anything immediately and that he'll make sure everything is taken care of ASAP.  Most likely, depending on the time, you'll be immediately taken in for a mental evaluation.

The mental evaluation will consist of two parts.  The first part is a couple of tests.  Nothing hard, just questions about your life.  Answer these questions honestly and don't make the situation any more complicated by lying about things.

The second part of the evaluation will be a private interview with a psychiatrist.  Most likely, toward the beginning of the interview, you'll be given three words, such as purple, river, and cat.  At the end of the interview, you'll be asked to recall those three words.  Try your best to remember them, because it will look better on your evaluation.

The psychiatrist will mainly focus on your childhood and your life immediately before coming to the military.  Tell him the truth.  In my case, I actually admitted to the problems with AT&T... things like that can help them explain your current "mental state."

The most important part of the interview is your body language.  Don't look the doctor square in the eye.  Keep looking around the room and act restless.  Answer the questions quickly but try to keep an undecided stance.  If he asks you if you could continue training, say "I don't know" or "I'm not sure."  Keep your voice low and whatever you do, don't allow any reaction to anything the doctor might say.  His purpose is to prove that you are lying and nothing else.

After 20 minutes or so, the interview will appear to be over and the doctor will say that he hasn't seen anything wrong with you and has no basis for recommending your release from the service.  This is the crucial point in your escape.

First of all, do not get angry.  Stay calm at all times.  Don't give a definite answer to anything.  All questions should be answered with "I don't know."  If you can, it would probably help your case to start crying.  Not a loud outburst, mind you, just a few tears will do the job.

The psychiatrist will then ask a few more questions and then tell you that he is going to recommend your removal from basic training.  Though the actual reason for your dismissal may vary, the terms will definitely be honorable.

My military records show that I was released because I was physically unable to continue training.  If a prospective employer were to look into my military records, that's all they would see.  I could then lie and say that I broke my leg or something to that effect.

Once you've passed the mental exam (or failed depending on your perspective) you're home free, even though they won't actually admit it to you yet.  The first thing you'll do is be placed into Routing.  This means that you'll spend the night with recruits who are about to graduate.  These recruits are supposed to help you keep your spirits up and watch you so that you don't try to kill yourself.

Now comes the worst part.  During the day, you'll spend hours in your particular battalion's routing platoon.  What this is is a room with nothing but beds (which you aren't allowed to lie on) and Leatherneck Magazines.  You and anyone else from your battalion who is being sent home get to sit in this room for as long as three days, depending on how long the paperwork takes.

Your only reprieve during this time is if you're sent out on a work detail, which could be anything from picking up trash to cleaning toilets.  Otherwise, you'll most likely invent about a million different games that can be played with a paper football or a paper wad.

When your paperwork is finally complete, you'll be called to see an officer.  Most likely it will be the Executive Officer (EO) and he'll tell you that he thinks you're faking it and that he's going to send you back to training.  Once again, remain noncommittal.  Stick to the "I don't knows" and restless behavior.

Once the EO signs your paperwork, you're officially on your way to the Recruit Separation Platoon (RSP).  RSP is a platoon made entirely of recruits who are being sent home for reasons ranging from SI to Fraudulent Enlistment to Failure to Adapt.  RSP requires a lot of patience, but as long as you keep your cool and remember that you'll be going home soon, you should be fine.

Once you're in RSP, things will start going a little bit easier.  You'll still have to follow most military protocols, but you won't have the pressure put on you that you did during training.  The DIs won't yell at you or try to play mind games with you.  The best thing you can do at this time is to go with the flow and not cause any trouble.

While in RSP, you'll be sent on work detail after work detail.  It's probably best to go on as many details as you can, because otherwise you'll just be sitting around the barracks with nothing to do and this is usually when trouble can start.

You'll most likely be stuck in RSP for four to seven days, depending on how many times they lose your paperwork in the pile of red tape it's buried in.  When your paperwork is finally complete, you'll be called to a meeting where you'll fill out a card stating where you want to go and the nearest airport to said place.

In approximately two more days, you'll be given your plane ticket and a ride to the airport.  Something rather important to note at this time is that for the next 48 hours, you are still subject to the Uniform Code of Military Justice, which means that if you get arrested for anything during this time period, you will be dragged back to San Diego and held for court-martial, no matter what crime you committed or where.

Well, that should be sufficient information to get you out of boot camp.  You'd be surprised at some of the lengths recruits go to escape when this is all they have to do.

One guy I met in RSP actually walked out of the front gate of MCRD and was gone for three months before turning himself in.

On a final note, while I was in RSP, I was put on a work detail in one of the main office buildings on base.  When the Major I was working for found out that I was proficient with computers, she asked me to try and fix their printer network which had crashed.  I eventually figured out that they had the printer plugged into the wrong port, but to test things, I had to log on to their network and the Major was stupid enough to give me her account name and password.  Unfortunately, I've been unable to find a way back into that system.

So if anyone happens to know a Telnet address to MCRD in San Diego or has happened to run across any strange military systems while scanning that area, maybe we can have even more fun with the military.