Target Advertising!
by Hiemlich VonScootertraus the 53rd
World War II brought a whole new category of weaponry into the modern arsenal. While nuclear bombs were probably the most well known and feared of the weapons developed during WWII, a lesser known yet much more widespread implement of war came into its own around the same time as the war broke out. This weapon is (((propaganda))).
We've all seen the draft posters featuring Rosie the Riveter or a handsome youthful soldier sticking it to the Jerry. The Germans, and to a lesser extent, the Japanese both used propaganda to fuel their war machines as well. The only real difference between their propaganda and ours is that (((we))) "won" the war.
So while the war for our lands raged on in the skies, the seas, and on the ground, the war for our minds went on as a subtle undercurrent to the fighting outside. After the war, rifles and cannons were hung up, but the battle for our eyes and ears went on unabated. All through-out the 1950s and 1960s, the U.S. and the USSR slugged it out through the height of the Cold War. This was not just a competition to find out who had the larger stockpiles of weapons, it was also a fight to see who could control the minds of their people most completely.
But when the Cold War ended, the propaganda wars ended too, right? Unfortunately, no. Today our minds are continually fu*ked by corporations using the same old techniques the government employed for so many years. However, instead of calling it propaganda, it's referred to as advertising and marketing. Companies battle for our thoughts more fiercely than any other battle in history. Every day we are subjected to over 500 separate advertisements. They're in the sky, on buildings, on the radio, in magazines, in movies, on TV, on our computer screens, they're even played over the phone while we're on hold.
Advertising is truly one of the greatest evils of our time. So what can you do about it? For starters, you must understand what advertisers think they know about you. To an advertising house, you are a number. You simply fall into various categories. You may be a gum-chewer, a video gamer, a nose picker; anything but a person. Advertising campaigns are built on the principle of throwing the largest possible number of messages at the largest possible concentration of a single group. This is why you always see beer commercials broadcast during sports games, and cereal commercials on Saturday morning. Advertising does not take into account the actions of the individual. People are like sheep: if you can convince the majority of them to come to you, the rest will follow the herd. (Interestingly enough, sheep are also the easiest animals to rape.)
Which brings up the most nefarious plot advertisers have devised. The guiding rule of Madison Avenue is "Get them while they're young." While the (((mainstream media))) has attributed this ideal to the cigarette industry, it is in fact a guiding light for the rest of the product making world as well. Children are very easy to control. With only a basic understanding of psychology, one can easily get inside the mind of a child. In fact, a great deal of modern child psychologists are employed by the advertising industry to help figure out just what it is that kids will want their parents to buy for them. Anyone who's ever been in Toys "R" Us knows exactly what happens when kids see a toy ad and decide they can't live without it.
So what can you do to slow the onrushing tide of advertising propaganda? For starters, you can deface advertising whenever possible. There's no reason that a billboard or bus stop-side ad should remain unfettered when the sign is on public land. Indeed, the cities belong to the people; we should be allowed to remove any unsightly ads if we so choose.
Another disturbing trend shows up at the movies. How many ads have you had to endure at the theater recently? Movie previews are all fine and dandy, but regular old ads an abomination. A new silent code needs to be instituted: when ads are played before a movie, they must be heckled, like Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Finally, the world's largest purveyor of propaganda is by far the Coca-Cola company. There is nary a city in the world which doesn't sell Coke at a corner shop. Coke is almost as recognizable a symbol as the Christian cross (an ancient symbol of the greatest work of propaganda ever: the Bible). Coke has single-handedly turned the advertising ideal of branding (imprinting your name in the customer's mind) to new heights. They sponsor everything! It's as if Coke wishes to insure that no fun is had on planet Earth without Coke being associated with said fun.
So keep your eyes and ears closed! Ignore propaganda in all its forms, especially government based - it's the most despicable form. When a government or company is able to think for you, they have won. And we shall never lose as long as we have a mute button on the TV.