The Liberal Bill of Wrongs

By John "Birdman" Bryant

In volume 1 of my book series Mortal Words I made a remark to the effect that I grew up hating conservatives, but learned to hate liberals all by myself. To this I would now add that, while conservatives are bad, liberals are ten times worse, mainly because they think they are ten times better. Thus when I was reading one of the local liberal columnists the other day, that famous line from Elizabeth Barrett Browning, "How do I love thee -- let me count the ways" came into my consciousness, almost instantly transmogrifying itself into "Liberals: How do I hate thee -- let me count the ways." So I did, and the following is the result.

• Liberals are hypocrites. They accuse others of what they themselves do. For example, liberals go on and on about tolerance, but a group of liberals almost tarred and feathered me some thirty years ago for suggesting in a speech that, from his own point of view, the murderer of a civil rights leader was acting morally and righteously. And needless to say, the daily newspapers are filled with similar stories of liberal intolerance, from campus speech codes to the suppression of Huckleberry Finn.
• Liberals are hate-filled bigots. Yes, liberals wax eloquent about "love and peace", and they especially love the rainbow coalition, the poor, the homeless, the sex deviants, the Haitian AIDS carriers and all sorts of other assorted losers, riffraff and garbage, but just try to attend a speech by such distinguished friends of mine as Prof Hans Eysenck or J Philippe Rushton, and you'll find out what hatred and bigotry is all about.
• Liberals are ignorant and faddish. From the pop psychology of Eric Berne and the personhole covers of the feminists to recycling, tofu and channeling, liberals are as faddish as teenagers in their choices, and just as irrational in their fickleness as conservatives are in their stodginess.
• Liberals use name-calling to squelch debate. Liberals have a wonderful array of smear terms, the most popular of which are "bigot", "prejudiced", and "antisemitic". Once a person gets one of these labels pinned on him, it is well-nigh impossible to shake it. And of course, there is never a legitimate need to debate with a "bigot", which is what liberals label those who do not agree with their racial politics. In fact, it is the liberal label of "bigotry" which prevents racial politics from being seriously debated in this country, and especially prevents mention of such vital facts as the mental inferiority and pronounced criminal tendencies of some of the liberals' favorite minorities.
• Liberals supposedly champion the downtrodden, but care nothing for the people who must bear the brunt of their ill-advised and socially- disruptive programs, especially the lower classes. It has been pointed out many times that "compassionate" liberal programs such as welfare have wreaked havoc among the poor, and especially blacks, whose motivation to succeed by their own efforts has been sapped by these programs. What has rarely been mentioned, however, is the fact that liberal programs usually affect the working class adversely while leaving untouched the wealthier classes to which most of the liberals belong. For example, the liberals can usually afford to move to the suburbs and/or send their kids to private school, while the working class cannot, and thus must contend by themselves with the liberal-created devastation and criminality of the inner cities.
• Liberals are fascists. While liberals rightly denounce totalitarianism of the right, they are quite acclimated to similar behavior on the left. From speech codes to economic regulation up the ass, from mandatory seat belts to mandatory integration, liberal fascism lacks only the goose step and the nazi salute.
• Liberals support a failed economic system. That is, liberals are usually socialists, but socialism has been an ignominious failure everywhere it has been tried, from the Fourier communities of the 19th century to the recently-collapsed Soviet "worker's paradise". But no liberal worth his salt ever let facts get in the way of his faith.
• Because liberals feel guilty about the poor and downtrodden, they think this gives them a license to steal from working people in order to support liberals' "compassionate" programs. This, however, is just part and parcel of the liberals' socialist thinking, in which there is no respect for private property because liberals think it all belongs to the government (and especially to them.)
• Liberals are willing to jettison eons of painfully-acquired human wisdom because they think it is "irrational". For example, liberal social engineers decided that America needed to be racially integrated, even tho segregation -- de facto if not de jure -- has been the rule in human societies for as long as history has been recorded. And now our society is coming apart at the seams, racial animosity is at an all-time high, a once- magnificent school system is in ruins, our businesses are chafing under the racial regulations of the EEOC, and so on ad infinitum. Or again, liberals wanted to break down old sexual barriers and taboos, so what we now have is an epidemic of sexually-transmitted diseases, explosive anger over homosexuals getting special privileges, and an army that won't be worth diddly-squat once women and minorities are affirmatively promoted and the competent soldiers leave in disgust.
• Liberals have dispensed with individual responsibility. As a result, it has now become socially OK for everyone to blame "society" (whether "racist", "sexist", "ageist", "handicappist", or any other) for their troubles instead of themselves, which the losers and inferior classes are doing in droves, rather than using their own capacities to succeed. Is it any wonder, then, that these classes are not only remaining inferior, but are acquiring a huge reservoir of hatred for those (mainly white males) who do succeed?
• Liberals are ass-kissers. For fear of offending their favorite minorities, liberals are vigilantly sensitive and politically correct, a situation which causes them to change language, employ euphemisms, suppress unpleasant facts, and assassinate the character of anyone who dares even suggest anything contrary to the liberal catechism.
• Liberals want to destroy society, or else are indifferent to its destruction. It is impossible not to notice that our country is rapidly going to hell in a handbasket because of liberal social programs -- primarily welfare, integration and affirmative action, which have encouraged black breeding and black-white mixing, and have disrupted white institutions with black misbehavior -- and yet liberals continue to force these programs down the unwilling throats of other Americans.
• Liberals have turned words, rationality and the world upside down. For liberals, "tolerance" is intolerance of speech liberals don't like; "social justice" is unjustly pulling down the successful to the level of the unsuccessful; "exploitation" is the creation of a wealthy capitalist society in which even the poor are more wealthy than most people in socialist societies; "freedom" is a government by liberal fascists; "peace" is unilateral disarmament in the face of a totalitarian enemy; and "love" is hatred of anyone who is not a liberal.
• Liberals have no idea why others hate them so much, and they especially do not understand what contempt the minorities have for them. I have outlined in the paragraphs above some of the reasons why the liberals' political opponents hold them in such contempt. But the situation is actually much worse, for minorities hate liberals because the liberal insistence on "protecting" minorities implies that the minorities are incompetent and thus need special protection. Yes, minorities will accept the special privileges which liberals have won for them, but the liberals' reward will be the eternal -- if covert -- contempt of their "children".

Someone once said that if a man wasn't a liberal when he was young, then he had no heart; and if he wasn't a conservative when he was old, then he had no brain. Now while there is some truth to this statement, I would say that the problem with the liberal is that he does not have enuf brains to realize that the best way to have a heart is not to "help" people, but to let people help themselves. Thoreau expressed this sentiment by saying that if he saw someone coming toward him who wanted to do him a good turn, he would run for his life. Too bad the liberals have never been able to absorb the most important nugget of wisdom of one of their greatest heroes.

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