The Ant and the Grasshopper

(or the liberal democrats at work)

The Ant and the Grasshopper:

> > > CLASSIC VERSION:
> > >
> > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
> > building
> > > his house and laying up supplies for the winter.The grasshopper
> > > thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer
> > away.
> > > Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
> > >
> > > The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the
> > cold.
> > >
> > > MORAL OF THE STORY : Be responsible for yourself!
> > >
> > > MODERN VERSION :
> > >
> > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
> > building
> > > his house and laying up supplies for the winter.The grasshopper
> > > thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer
> > away.
> > >
> > > Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
> > and
> > > demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and
> > well fed
> > > while others are cold and starving.
> > >
> > > CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN show up to provide pictures of the
> > shivering
> > > grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home
> > with a
> > > table filled with food.
> > >
> > >
> > > America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that
> > in a
> > > country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to
> > suffer so?
> > >
> > >
> > > Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and
> > everybody
> > > cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green."
> > >
> > >
> > > Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
> > > where the news stations film the group singing "We Shall
> > Overcome."
> > > Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
> > > grasshopper's sake.
> > >
> > >
> > > Tom Daschle &Walter Mondale exclaim in an interview with Peter
> > > Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
> > > grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant
> > to
> > > make him pay his "fair share."
> > >
> > >
> > > Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and
> > Anti-Grasshopper
> > > Act", retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
> > >
> > >
> > > The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of
> > green
> > > bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his
> > home
> > > is confiscated by the government.
> > >
> > >
> > > Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
> > > defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a
> > panel
> > > of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of
> > single-parent
> > > welfare recipients.
> > >
> > >
> > > The ant loses the case.
> > >
> > >
> > > The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last
> > bits
> > > of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which
> > just
> > > happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because
> > he
> > > doesn't maintain it.
> > >
> > >
> > > The ant has disappeared in the snow.
> > >
> > >
> > > The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related incident and the
> > > house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who
> > > terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

YOUR DONATION = OUR SURVIVAL!

Please contribute today - buy our books - and spread the word to all your friends!

* * * Back to the Home Page of John "Birdman" Bryant, the World's Most Controversial Author * * *