It is
amazing the differences in the way that we feel before the vows are
exchanged ... and after.
B - You take my breath away A - You're
suffocating me
B - She says she loves the way I take control of the
situation A - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac
B
- Saturday Night Fever A - Monday Night Football
B - He makes me
feel like a million dollars A - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's
done...
B - Spilling hot oil on your back and giving you a massage till
2:00AM A - Yelling at me for spilling hot oil on the floor when trying to
sneakily make up some fries at 2:00AM
B - Making love and a
cigarette A - Screwing and a stogie
B - Pot A - A pot
B
- The Sound of Music A - The Sound of Silence
B - Cologne A -
Motor Oil
B - It's like I'm in a dream A - It's like he's in my
nightmare
B - $60/dozen A - $1.50/stem
B - We agree on
everything! A - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?
B - Sexy
lingerie from Victoria's Secret for no reason at all A - A gift certificate
to Jenny Craig Weight Loss clinic for your 25th anniversary
B -
Charming and Noble A - Chernobyl
B - Ideal A - Idle
B -
I love a woman with curves A- I never said you were fat
B - He's
completely lost without me A - Why won't he ever ask for directions?
B - Time stood still A - This relationship is going nowhere
B - Blind A - Nearsighted
B - You look so seductive in black
A - Your clothes are so depressing
B - Oysters A - Fishsticks
B - I can hardly believe we found each other A - I can't believe I
ended up with someone like you