This was
in the Washington Post... the title of the article was 'Best Come Back Line
Ever.'
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year
old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday
night.
On Monday, at the Gwinnett County courthouse, Lawrence was
charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and
public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a
pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he
decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and
there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't
anyone around' he stated in a telephone interview. Lawrence went on
to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin
that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and
proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' 'Guess I was really into
it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.
In
the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police
car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor
approached him. 'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said
officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at
this pumpkin.'
Officer Taylor went on to describe what
happened when she approached Lawrence. 'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you
realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly
very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face
and said... 'A pumpkin? Shit...is it midnight
already?'