The following was written by State Representative
Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County, GA.
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an
attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any
more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and
secure
the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our
great-great-great
grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish
some common
sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden,
delusional and
other liberal, bedwetters. We hold these truths to be
self-evident: that a
whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are
so dim that
they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV
or
any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire
them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This
country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for
everyone-not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel,
express a
different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and
probably
always
will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If
you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do
not
expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will
gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of
subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch
potatoes who
achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That
would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just
not
interested in health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other
people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone,
don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric
chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of
others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of
other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and
lock you
away in a place where you still won't have the right to a
big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our
children
risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching
conscience. We
hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you
from
going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting
the
entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time
battling each
and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure
want
all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard
times,
but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of
education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an
American means that you have the right to pursue happiness-which
by the
way,
is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of
idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the
Bill of
Rights
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