>From: "Martin Webster"
>To: Tony , Tony Hancock
>Subject: New E.U. Language Directive
>Date: Wed, 12 Mar 2003 21:22:37 +0000
>
>NEW E.U. LANGUAGE DIRECTIVE:
>(Pay Attention!)
>
>The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
>reached to adopt English as the prefered language for European
>communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
>
>As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English
>spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phased
>plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
>
>In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".  Sertainly,
>sivil servants will reseive this news with joy.  Also, the hard "c" will be
>replaced with "k".  Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters
>kan have one less letter.
>
>There will be growing public enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
>troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f".  This will make words like
>"fotograf" 20 persent shorter.
>
>In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expeked to
>reach the stage where more komplicated changes are possible.  Governments
>will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
>deterent to akurate spelling.  Also al wil agre that the horible mes of
>silent "e" s in the language is disgrasful, and they would go.
>
>By the fourth year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
>by "z" and "w" by "v".
>
>During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "O" kan be dropd from ords kontaining
>"ou", and similar changes vud, of kors, be aplid to ozer kombinations of
>leters.
>
>Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst
>plas....


STOP MORE SPAM with the new MSN 8 and get 2 months FREE*