California people are strange!
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I
was
only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told
bemused
doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki"
Farnum, had been
admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had
gone
seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot,
our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted
out
"Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to
retrieve
Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube
and
struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."
At a hushed press conference a hospital spokesperson described
what
happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas
and a flame
shot out the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely
burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and
whiskers
which in turn, ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the
intestine
propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."
Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from
the
impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second
degree
burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.
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