'Twas the Night Before Kwanzaa
>'Twas the night before Kwanzaa
>And all through the 'hood,
>Maulana Karenga was up to no good.
>
>He'd tortured a woman and spent time in jail.
>He needed a new scam that just wouldn't fail.
>("So what if I stuck some chick's toe in a vice?
>Ain't nobody said revolution was nice!")
>
>The Sixties were over. Now what would he do?
>Why, he went back to school -- so that's "Dr." to
you!
>He once ordered shootouts at UCLA
>He now teaches Black Studies just miles away.
>
>To top it all off, then, the good Doctor's plan
>Was 'Sabotage Christmas and piss off The Man.'
>
>Karenga invented a fake holiday.
>He called the thing Kwanzaa. "Hey, what's that you say?
>
>"You don't get what's 'black' about Maoist baloney?
>You say that my festival's totally phony?
>
>"Who cares if corn isn't an African grain?
>Who cares if our harvest-time's truly insane?
>Who cares if Swahili's not our mother tongue?
>A lie for The Cause never hurt anyone!
>
>"Umoja! Ujima! How words fascinate!
>Collectivist crap never sounded so great!
>Those guilty white liberals are easy to fool...
>Your kids will now celebrate Kwanzaa in school!"
>
>We heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight:
>"Merry Kwanzaa to all, now, except if you're
white!"
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