Think
before you
speak...
Here are six reasons
why you should think before you speak
-
The last one is
great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you
could
Immediately take the words back...
Or that you
could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few
people who did....
FIRST
TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair
salon with my husband and three kids
in tow
And asked
loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow
job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went
back
My husband didn't say a word...
He knew
better.
SECOND
TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf
store comparing different kinds of golf
balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I
had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I
was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the
store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking,
I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with
men's
balls'
THIRD
TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were
at the mall and
Passed by a store that sold a
Variety
of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the d isplay case,
The boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied,
'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to
laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red
and walked away.
To this day,
My sister has never let
me forget.
FOURTH
TESTIMONY:
While in line at the
bank one afternoon,
My toddler decided to release
Some
pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold
of
Her after receiving looks of disgust
And annoyance
from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start
behaving
'right now' she would be punished.
To my
horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now,
I will
tell Grandma that I saw you
Kissing Daddy's pee-pee last
night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening
exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were
doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
Walked
out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I
heard when the door closed behind me, were screams
of
laughter.
FIFTH
TESTIMONY:
<
FONT face=Tahoma size=4>Have you ever asked
your child a
question too many times?
My three-year-old
son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on
him
constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
lunch, in between errands
It was very busy, with a full
dining room.
While enjoying my taco,
I smelled
something funny,
So of course I checked
My
seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that
Danny
Had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked
him if he needed to go,
And he said 'No' .
I kept
thinking
'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I
don't have any clothes with
me.'
Then I said,
'
Danny , are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he
replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting
worse.
Soooooo, I asked one
more time, ' Danny did you have an accident ? This time he
jumped
up, yanked down hi s pants,
Bent over, spread his
cheeks
And yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST
FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their
tacos laughing,
He calmly pulled up his pants and sat
down.
An old couple made me feel better,
Thanking me
for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST
TESTIMONY:
This had most of the
state of Michigan
laughing for 2 days
And a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will,
In the future,
likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you
predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor
that,
The day after it was supposed to have snowed and
didn't,
Turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob,
where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only
did HE have to leave the set,
But half the crew did too they
were laughing so hard!
Now, didn't that feel
good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a
laugh
And remember
We all say things we don't really
mean,
So think before you
speak!!!!!