Sent: Saturday, September 18, 2004 12:53 AM
Subject: Maharishi on
Zen
Veryreeshi Yogibear's Guide to
Zen
*
Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you
aren't getting
any.
*
Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be
replaced, you can't be
promoted.
*
Remember, no one is listening until you
fart.
*
Never forget that you are unique, like everyone
else.
*
Never test the depth of the water with both
feet.
*
If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try
missing a couple
of mortgage
payments
*
Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when
you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their
shoes.
*
If at first you don't succeed, avoid
skydiving.
*
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will
sit in a boat and drink beer all
day.
*
Have you ever lent someone £20 and never seen that person again? It was probably
worth
it.
*
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.
*
Some days we are the flies; some days we are the
windscreen.
*
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first
time.
*
Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from
bad
judgment.
*
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half
and put it back
in your
pocket.
*
A closed mouth gathers no
feet.
*
There are two theories about how to win an argument with a
woman. Neither one
works.
*
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips
are
moving.
*
Never miss a good chance to shut
up.
*
Experience is something you don't get until just after you
need
it.
*
When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked
on our arse.
From there on in, life gets
worse
*
The most wasted day of all is one in which we have
not
laughed.
* Do not
walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not
follow. Do not walk beside me either, just f--- off and leave me
alone.
*
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat
tyre.
* The
darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you're
going to steal your
neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do
it.
Remember not to forget that which you do not need to
know.