I met Krys back in 1997 at DefCon5. Since then we'd conversed regularly via IRC and e-mail, and I was looking forward to seeing her at DefCon6, but the arrival of my first child kept me from travelling. I have always viewed DefCon as a chance to cut loose from my 9-5, house with two car garage, 2.6 kid, generic suburban life and a chance to meet up with old friends and hopefully meet a few new ones. And as such, I took a lot of crap for missing DC6 from a lot of people. But, Krys understood, and was happy about my daughter, Haley. Every time we talked, she'd ask about my wife, the baby, etc. and was generally just a very wonderful person to talk to, and sad to say, but one of the more "real" people in the "scene" or otherwise. She was the only person other than my wife who had a darkside.org shell account, which is something I didn't give out to anyone.

When I first heard about Krys' illness, I was literally dumbstruck. It didn't make any sort of sense that someone like her should have to deal with and illness so sinister. Even as cynical as I am, I still couldn't believe that something like this could happen to someone like Krys. Bad things shouldn't happen to good people.

After watching my step-grandfather go through all he did with his cancer, I could only feel sad in knowing that there was a very real possibility of losing Krys well before her time. But, I had hope that there was something that could be done. Unfortunately it was next to impossible to get in touch with her, so all my information on how she was doing was relayed via others who knew her personally and spoke to her often, like Sangfroid. Sadly, all the updates I got were not encouraging.

At DefCon7, I finally met up with Sangfroid on Sunday, and we briefly talked about Krys. I had the honor of being the first to sign the DefCon shirt he had bought for her. I rarely sign the name "Mr. Man" on anything, but I jumped at the chance to put my name on this shirt in the hopes that knowing we all cared about her and hoped she got well could somehow make her better. Naive and selfish, but I don't think anyone who knew Krystalia will tell you that they wouldn't rather have her here with us now.

Yesterday (Thursday), I heard from a friend that Krystalia hadn't been doing well, and was taking a drastic turn for the worse. Several of the Texas guys wanted to get together and give her a big conference call of love and support, but sadly were unable to do so. We had already lost one of our own recently this year to a car accident, so we decided that we'd all get together that weekend and do it then. It was important for us to hear her voice again.

Then I got this message early Friday...

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from sangfroid:
Krystalia, age 28 passed away today 29 October 1999 at approximately
12:30pm.

Krystalia had been battling ovarian cancer that was diagnosed 
approximately 10 months ago.

In the last few months, the cancer spread to her major organs, finally she
slipped into a coma this morning and her heart stopped.  Krystalia is
survived by her partner of 9 years, Steve, and Mother and Father.
Funeral arrangements have not been made, but can be obtained by emailing
me, sang@sinister.com.

Krystalia was beloved by many, and will be missed.

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I cannot express in words what a loss this is for so many people, myself included. So, this next year I'm going to do what I can to meet up with all those old friends I don't see often and we'll remember those we've lost, celebrate their lives and the kind of friends they were, and give thanks for those friends who are still here and the time we're given.

After losing three people whom I respected and liked this year, I can only say that there is no more important thing than to seize the days we are given, because none of us are promised tomorrow. It sounds trite, but there is no more real thing that the mortality of us all and the finite amount of time we have to live.

I choose to remember Krys as the kind, warmhearted person whom I met at DC5 and became someone I was proud to call a friend. I can only hope there are more people like her out there...