[Reply posted to alt.conspiracy.area51, May 24, 1995, 11:00pm.]

Dear Agent X....

Maybe we're being too harsh on Chuckie.  I just watched "Forrest 
Gump" again, and I realize now that there is a place on this earth 
for all God's children.  Chuckie just has to find his niche.

I used to regard him merely as a moron, as a rip-off artist 
without a single original idea.  Goodall and you take pictures, so 
he takes pictures.  Campbell writes a book, so he writes an 
identical looking book.  We design a patch, so he puts a saucer in 
the background and calls it his patch.  Now I see that it is my 
fault for expecting him to fit my own standards and values.  Not  
everyone needs to be an intellectual, and not everyone needs to  
adhere to any personal ethics; that's why we have laws isn't it?

Sure, Chuckie is a moron, but I don't mean that in any negative or 
derogatory way.  I think it is time we stopped discriminating 
against people based on their intellectual capacity.  People 
should be able to stand up in public and say, "Yes, I am a moron," 
without feeling ashamed.  Chuckie is doing that, and proudly, and 
I think he can serve as an example for young people everywhere.  
It is not something you need to hide anymore.  (Just like us, X my 
darling, kiss, kiss.)

I don't know how you will react to this, Agent X, but I think we 
should invite Chuckie to join our inner circle of Groom Lake 
Interceptors.  I know there is going to be some aversion to this 
among our members, but I think it is our responsibility as leaders 
in the UFO and aviation watcher community to reach out, in an 
affirmative-action sort of way, to the intellectually and 
ethically disadvantaged.

What role can he play?  Here's an example:  The Little A'Le'Inn is 
pretty much off limits to you and I, and most of the other 
Interceptors won't go there either, but Chuckie is welcomed there 
anytime.  Maybe he could send us reports on what's happening at 
this "UFO Central."  Indeed, there is a significant flaw in the 
Desert Rat: No unbiased reporting on the Little A'Le'Inn.  Chuckie 
could fill the gap by providing regular dispatches, perhaps posted 
here on alt.conspiracy.area51.  We want more news about 
conferences at the Inn, and we also want to know more about the 
ongoing investigation into those Space Bubbles.  Who's going to 
tell us about these things if Chuckie doesn't?

Believe me, Chuckie is a great guy once you get to know him.  He's 
got a WICKED sense of humor.  And sensitive, too:  He understands 
people and can reach out and communicate with them in ways that 
you and I will never grasp.  He may be dumb, but he's mature, 
unlike us silly 10-year-olds playing soldier.  I think he'd add 
some balance to our group.

The only question is, What should his secret code name be?  
"Peanutbrain"?  "Muttonhead"?  Maybe we should go through old 
episodes of "The Three Stooges" to find an appropriate moniker.

What do you think of my proposal, Agent X?  Should we extend him 
an invitation, and if we do, what should his code name be?

Psychospy