From: 1:53 PM Subject: Monday Night Cafe Racing Report (longish) Well well. It was indeed a nice night. Fun was had by all, and the AVI's will be posted to www.squidlys.com at some point in the near future, I'd imagine. I ran into Keith pulling into the Coffee Society at what I thought was a reasonably early hour only to find that ba's very own SmallSilly had made her long anticipated arrival at the Monday Night Cafe Racing. She had, infact, been there since 5:15. The bikes started trickling in. Creech showed up on his 70's 2-stroke Yamaha, the bike that set a record on Sunday for being kickstarted 31 times in one minute. And I can attest to the fact that everybody on that ride smelled like 2-stroke smoke by the end of the night. Moike showed up in the Helix with a passenger and a video camera. That's right, this Monday night was THE night to video Keith jumping the stairs at TGIF at the end of the night. More on that later. As the crowd grew, much mirth was derived from a wildly jacked up truck that somebody had brought along. It was ridiculous! We were off. First stop : At Mr Wu's Chinese Food (I don't know why we claim we go there for the coffee shop) we were treated to a truely stupifying display of unchecked redneck retardation. The jacked up truck was driving around the parking lot, over planters, around in circles, and generally looking like it was about to roll over on top of our bikes. I can't even begin to estimate the price tag for flipping that monstrosity onto our row of parked bikes. Eventually Mike hopped into the Helix and spun some cookies and practiced his side car balancing act. Being one-upped by a helix seemed to end the 4 wheel drive antics to everyone's relief. I don't remember seeing the truck after that. I think Mike asked them to leave before they brought every cop in the town down on us, or raised all of our insurance premiums when he pancaked our bikes. Next stop : The savoy. Highlights there include Creech getting spanked at air hockey by both Moike and myself. His shoulder is still healing, right Greg? All the girls went into the bar paired up and arm in arm to show what REAL leather women should look like. That got a few cheers. And SmallSilly posed provocatively on a certain someone's bike for pictures to be taken. We need copies. Badly. Next stop : Wannabe Poserboy Taunting. (I can't remember the name of this coffee shop.) Yes, the child who 2 weeks ago claimed to be able to outrace anybody in the group if only he'd brought his bike was there again. Much hilarity ensued at his feeble attempts to look tougher than SmallSilly. One of his feeble sallies was to claim that "You know you want to f___ me!" to which Creech said "Bend over, boy." Later, this travesty from the shallow end of the gene pool threated to push over one of our bikes and was generally being a pain. At that moment, a police officer had just pulled in to the parking lot. I'm not sure who's bike it was, but that person waved the cop over, pointed to RacerBoy, and desribed his behaviour and threats of property damage and said "I wanna press chages." RacerBoy apparently went fairly pale at that. Anyway, well all mounted up and drove off with the cops asking RacerBoy for his ID. Sometimes the cops are on your side! Next : The Mile. On our way, were were spotted and recognized for the posing goofball squidly riders that we are by a guy in a panel van (see other thread : Monday Night Ride Sighting). And yes, Steve, it was a nice wheelie. :) We pulled into the loop with me in the back as usual. I was riding the piggly wiggly, so I was content to watch other's lean way into the corners. Although, on my last trip around the circle, I did manage to shoot sparks off my engine guards as I leaned the bike as far over as it'll go. We pulled into the turn lane to head out to the coffee shop just a couple of blocks away and go to see Keith run a red light right behind a cop. Fortunately, no ticket. Good cops tonight! Once we were parked, we got to watch an obviously inebriated driver nearly plow into a row of our parked bikes. She missed by an inch. Mike walked over to one of the officers that pulled over to "watch" us and make sure we behaved and told them we were pretty sure they had been drinking in that car. We then watched 9 people pile into that car and drive off. The cop followed. Believe it or not, the good cop Karma is not yet at an end! As we took off, we encountered a rarely seen spectical. No, not Keith driving on the sidewalk and sliding his rear end around in the leaves piled up there, I'm talking about REALLY rare. We had a one-dog bobsled team consisting of a tiny little dog and a guy on rollerblades fly down off the sidewalk and cut RIGHT THROUGH the motorcycle pack, arms flailing, little dog chasing a bike. The dog then jumped up a curb on the opposite side of a pole to where the blader was going and nearly wiped the blader out. A well timed back-fire by our stalwart German Dual-Sport contigent expressed our sentiments nicely as we sped off. A little later on, at a stop light, there was a sporty convertible in the far left lane that tried to race the bikes off the line. Bikes and car flew down the road with the car performing a highly risky lane change to get around another car. We screeched to a halt right by, you guessed it, a TRAFFIC COP! He was stopping traffic for the game that just got done in San Jose. We spent nearly 15 minutes stopped at the light harrasing, laughing, and posing. The best parts were filming Steve polishing his bike, checking the BMW car for cell phones (he had one), piling NINE PEOPLE onto one cruiser (I hope Mike got film of that), and Creech asking the traffic cop if he could sit on the cop's bike. He agreed! Avi's of Keith strangling Greg astride a cop bike will soon be available. We finally mad it to our last coffee shop only to find it closed. At that point, Mike bailed with his passenger and entrusted the camera to Greg. Unwise. We left for TGIF and had a fairly uneventful ride, although Steve did pull the nicest wheelie I've ever seen him pull going down hill towards TGIF. Up high, held nicely, and set down gently. Kudos! Well, of course, TGIF was the main event. Keith jumped the stairs not once, not twice, but THREE times! Much to the amusement of a drunken birthday girl and her husband. It's on camera. Two shots of Keith from a side view, and one shot where he jumped _over_ the camera, Dukes of Hazzard style. He left quite noticable centerstand marks on the ground each time, and had a lovely spray of sparks. This time, he took the huge luggage off his bike and didn't wind up with it bent over at a weird angle. We adjourned inside to harrass the waitress and eat some food. It was then that SmallSilly was on the recieving end of a minor ice-age. She came over and dropped ice down my back for some percieved slight (like I would throw wads of paper at people! Sheesh!). Fortuantely, Greg and two others had my back and she recieved at least fivefold of what she delivered. It was indeed a good running of the squids. Join us EVERY Monday night at Coffee Society at 7:00 for stunt, stupidity, and general hooliganism. Scrubbo DoD #6000 99 Honda VT750CDLX 99 BMW R1100RT