Nancy*, a nice lady with grey eyes and a .45 in a shoulder holster, started off by giving us several handouts on self-protection. This seminar was about preventing possible dangerous situations. She explained that a lot of dangerous situations can be prevented by using simple common sense.

To illustrate this point, she told us the story of a woman who was raped in the lobby of her building, under a stairwell, because she didn't take notice of an unfamiliar man who was standing just a few feet behind her. She had come home from work and she saw a man loitering in front of her building. She didn't remember ever seeing him in the building before nor was he someone that she recognized from her neighborhood. Her instinct told her not to go into the building, but she was tired and wanted to eat. When she entered the building, he followed her in, put a knife to her throat and raped her. One of the woman's neighbors watched her get raped from the lobby door. When the neighbor was asked as to why she didn't help, she said that the victim looked dead at her and shook her head "no". The victim was afraid that the attacker would kill her if she didn't comply.

Nancy also recounted the story of one woman who warded off a possible molestor. This woman was very pretty -- model looks. She was sitting by herself on the subway, in a nearly deserted car. A man got into the car and chose to sit directly opposite her. He kept staring at her in a way that made her uncomfortable. The train pulled in and out of several stations, but the man made no indication to get off the train. All this time he had been rubbing at his crotch and looking at her. The woman not knowing what to do, decided to keep on ignoring him. She pulled a paperback book out of her bag and pretended to read it. At this point, he got up and sat right next to her. He looked her up and down and kept staring at her. He kept on rubbing his crotch and started to moan. The woman, who was mortified and terrified, slumped forward in her seat, legs and arms splayed, and started to drool. The man looked around, got up and left the train car. When the woman was asked why she drooled, she said that it was the only thing that she could think of doing. She thought that becoming "gross" would turn him off and get him away from her.

The stories Nancy told were meant to serve as examples of possible behavior and reactions to potentially dangerous situations. In the first story, the first woman became a victim because she ignored her instincts. If she had confronted the man with "Excuse me. Are you waiting for someone?" or "May I help you?", then he might not have attacked her because she would have shown that she was aware of his presence. Some other options for this woman were to walk around the block or go to the corner store and wait until the man was gone, or to call a neighbor and have him/her watch as she entered the building.