Issue Title Author 001 The Entropic Theme Song Defiant 002 The Wrecking Ball Fuzzy 003 The Microwave Bomb Shotgun Willie 004 Meaningful Shit Mogel 005 Eternal Sickness v1.1 The Guest 006 Nirvana Unlimited Mogel 007 The Ping Pong Bomb Everlast 008 The End Is Near Mogel 009 Mortal Kombat II Docs Mogel 010 The Violent Femmes - Add It Up Lyrics Mogel 011 The Beef on Ham Jeager 012 Hate Edge Abigwar 013 Paradise Lost Corrosion 014 Rage Lyrics Everlast 015 C'est La Mort Gallowrat 016 How be K001 Anarkustz Mogel 017 ChroniC must be Destroyed Abigwar 018 Random Spam Zorro 019 Darkness... Abigwar 020 HOE DATE #1 Mogel 021 The Poetic Terrorist Abigwar 022 My Penis Unbound Mogel 023 Thinking Abigwar 024 The )<-RaD ]<0MPiLATi0N! Three d00ds 025 Stars and Stripes Lyrics Abigwar 026 The Red Ant File Abigwar 027 Revenge of the Nerds Mogel 028 Rifts Character Selection List Mogel 029 Fucked up Things Chal e. Mac 030 The Poetic Terrorist 2 Abigwar 031 The TRUE Clash of the Titans! Psycho Santa 032 Proof on the Questions Abigwar 033 King Missile Lyrics /<0rrUpT 034 Pink Noise Obscure Images 035 Bob the Prophet Logik 036 The gNu Hog Order Corrosion & Mogel 037 Peanut Heaven Black Francis 038 /<-RaD Alert! Mad Arab 039 Mogel WILL Marry Winona Ryder Mogel 040 HOE-DATE #2 Mogel 041 The Instant /<-KiT Mad Arab 042 The Gods Sent Us for Shrooms Abigwar 043 Called Your Psychic Friend Today? Chal e. Mac 044 Cindy Wants Us Dead! Abigwar 045 The Meaning of Life and How to Hack it Mogel 046 Bus Driver Irv Corrosion 047 Religion with Eggs & Coffee Defiant 048 Without Want or Need Half-Baked 049 Searching Abigwar 050 Who the Hell are ya'? Hoe Shmoes 051 Stand Back! It's the MODEM MAFIA! Chal e. Mac 052 The Lump from the Dump Visioknight 053 Satisfaction The Chickenlord 054 Excuse Me, Could You Remove Your Steatopygous? Mogel 055 I Object! : The Introduction to Being a Lawyer Charlie 056 The Sandwich Black Francis 057 A Vampire's Thoughts Vampire 058 The Smile That Couldn't Have Been Forgotten Mogel 059 Santa Claus Must Die! The Chickenlord 060 HOE-DATE #3 Mogel 061 True Stories from Pathological Liars Alex Swain 062 My Application to [NAME OF COLLEGE HERE] Thanatos 063 Everything Inbetween IM2K 064 Take a Wiz, Make me Jiz Mogel 065 My BA in Attitude Disorder 066 Life and the IRC Log Dash 067 So This is How it Ends for Us? Abigwar 068 About Nothin' Spiff 069 Why Information Must be Free Mr. Sandman 070 The Massive ELiTE! Interview Mogel 071 Biff Redneck Goes to the Big City Sed 072 There's Pain in There Mogel 073 Ripping & Screaming Your Way to a Better You KidKnee 074 The Great CyberSpace Coaster Chat Board Caper IM2K 075 Cockroach Assault Alex Seigel 076 Home and Garden M0rpheus 077 The Other Side of the Mirror Black Sunshine 078 The Oedipus Complex in Modern Day Terms Jamesy 079 Behind the Mask The Stranger 080 HOE-DATE #4 Mogel 081 The Cherished Illusion Dead Cheese 082 I'm a Chick, You Obviously Want Me Crank 083 Children of The Tube Neko 084 Thou Shalt Not Think Thalassocracy 085 Cries of Night The Stranger 086 Essays from my Childhood Pip the Angry Youth 087 me too!!@# Mogel 088 The Magical Penis Lucky 089 Politics, Freedom, and the Human Spirit Nathan 090 The Final Jammy Lotsa folks 091 The Death of Our Scene Pip the Angry Youth 092 DIE MIKE! Metal Chick 093 My nipples are erect for you! Hardcore 094 collected suicide letters Metal Chick 095 Girls are Dumb Metal Chick 096 Midnight Munchies, Valium, Take a Shower You Dirty Fuck Styx 097 Long-sleeve Shirts Kaia's friend Drew 098 The Intertwining Worlds of The Dumb and The Ugly Pixy 099 a REAL bush fan Creed 100 The Computer Underground Lovechart Goldy The Pimp 101 Group Therapy Trilobyte 102 I'm So Stupid Trip 103 Rise of The Mogel's, Part One Eerie 104 SCREW Trilobyte 105 Nobody Loves Me Eerie 106 The Triangle pVc 107 AO, Li-fo #7 Food 108 And You Wonder Aproh 109 How to Hack NASA with AOL Jubjub 110 A Dialogue On Love Jamesy & Murmur 111 The Rise of The Mogels, Part Two Nybar 112 Militia Enterance Exam IM2K 113 Who The Fuck is This Jesus Christ Guy? Creep 114 The Boy Who Seeks Happiness Meets Darkthrone Murmur 115 It's Me! Nyar 116 The Dangerous Streets of NYC Eerie 117 An Interview with Mogel Jamesy 118 So Much to Live For, So Much to Die For, Right? Kheldar 119 The Rise of The Mogels, Part Three Mercuri 120 On Yumas HACKERS 121 Free Buttplug Styx 122 How to Get Chicks: The FAQ! Swiss Pope 123 An ASCII Portrait of Antihero Morpheus 124 Short Story (code number ORANGE) Murmur 125 Laughing Mogel 126 Hey i'm in the chinese channel Styx 127 Rise of The Mogels, Part Four Murmur 128 The Fun I Had with a Crazy, Old Vietnamese Lady Muze 129 Christ Demands More Money The Onion 130 How to Kill Your Roommate and Frame Her Fat Friends Muze 131 Text Files Darwin 132 C- Glynis 133 Reality and Fantasy: an Indepth Analysis Nybar 134 Ode to Manson Taraxis 135 Asshole or Bitch Styx 136 It's All A Facade Pagenwait 137 Hemmorhoids Shadow Tao 138 Killing Time on a Sunday Afternoon Legion 139 Potato Salad Murmur 140 Enter MatCat Antihero 141 A Womans's Guide to Geeky Guys Lonewolf 142 Are You Calling Me A Liar? Trilobyte 143 Carmex Rocks My World MoonBagel 144 A Sentence Orestes 145 Here's The Story of a Cat Named Buddy Trip 146 Eaten Alive By A Faulty Ball Bearing Cooling Fan Skinhorse 147 A Call-Us & Damnit! Adventure Whoops 148 Thoughts And Deja Vu Gaurdian 149 Sleep Deprivation Sonia 150 slit and slot; no, just coffee, thanks Styx 151 Fear and Loathing in the Suburban Midwest MoonBagel 152 Normal Vacation Murmur 153 Missing The Boat Kraftwerk 154 THE... BITCH.... QUEEN... IS DEAD!!! Nybar 155 The Spice Girls Jubjub 156 Why Are They Eating This? Quarex & RottenZ 157 Emoticons Explained Swiss Pope 158 yellow.american.cheese.gz Ilsundal 159 Dick Van Dyke Jubjub 160 2599 Unlimited 2599 161 Hope Dies Last Neko 162 FUCK THE BROKEN DITTO MACHINE Quarex 163 The Dead Hippo Kraftwerk 164 Notes From My Freshman Year MoonBagel 165 Can I be a Barber, Mom? Jook 166 The Spirit of Giving PezMonkey 167 Hippo Crackers Trilobyte 168 Bots Are Evil Aster 169 Your Sister is Hot Styx 170 Why Can't I Be A Crack Baby? Backwash 171 The Hanson Scourge DeusVitae 172 The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig File13 173 dwindle dwindle dwindle Cstone 174 Barbeque, I Don't Like You Phorce 175 A Horrible Imitation of Henry Miller Skinhorse 176 Anything Else PezMonkey 177 What's Your New Year's Resolution? Huh? FyFy 178 Drop Dead Rattle 179 The Storys of Le and Kurt Aster 180 I'm Complicated Lilnilhil 181 There Was A Girl Neko 182 The Continued Storys of Le and Kurt Aster 183 Why Drugs Are Queer Kraftwerk 184 My Stupid h0e Plexus 185 A Super Cool Way to Kill Yourself Sighrik 186 Friends Aster 187 Homosexuality Unleashed Ilsundal 188 MatCat Explains Christianity Antihero 189 My Ass Skinhorse 190 Hume Tickles Me MoonBagel 191 Dear Jewel Kilcher Styx 192 The 815 Bust Revisted Neko 193 The Lady with Red Hair Aster 194 MatCat Goes Hacking Antihero 195 The Netsplit Heard 'Round The World Kraftwerk 196 Marching Over Me Leprekon 197 Bob and Suzy Aster 198 MatCat Gives Up Antihero 199 POETRY EXPLOSION! Various Artists 200 Hubris Various Artists 201 Cancerman vs. Clinton GrayWolf 202 Big, Scary, Jungle Snake MoonBagel 203 No Sleep Neko 204 Ode to Yak Boy Captain Bovine 205 HYPE eZine -- Issue 1 Craig Martin 206 An Interview with Aster Mogel 207 Go to a Real Strip Club! Muze 208 Anarchy ANdz0oey 209 Boobie the Pig Kraftwerk 210 HYPE eZine -- Special Edition Craig Martin 211 Social Darwinism Never Sounded So Good RM 212 Let Me Out of My Cellar Gangsta Spanksta 213 The Poem Of Orality Alternative Rocks 214 Two Short Stories ANdz0oey 215 Why Valentine's Day Sucks Muze 216 Alfheim Fuzes with Tlorah Ilsundal & Rattle 217 Non-condition ANdz0oey 218 mp3's Rule!!!!! Skinhorse 219 BioWar: Not Just a Novel Idea Tom Adam 220 bOO- Teaches Me Finnish Mogel 221 The Never-Ending Story of Norman, a Guy Who Hates Fishing & Eats Haggis RM 222 I Believe in God Captain Bovine 223 WE'RE ALL FUCKED! Mack 224 Afterschool Specials: Lost on The Cutting Room Floor Whoops 225 Bounty Hunter Trilobyte 226 The Day Armaggedon Began Alternative Rocks 227 Some Rants Mokie 228 The Inaccessible Woman Mooer 229 Game Over RedMan 230 Shot: Chapter 3 ANdz0oey 231 A Scholarly Essay on the Benefits of Rape in Society PezMonkey 232 Collect Call of Cthulhu Ken-ohki 233 Yellow Balloon Aster 234 hehehehe! Murmur 235 The Last Man On Earth Puck 236 I Don't Care If You Like Eating Pussy Styx 237 PrisonSex7 Mogel 238 The Way The Flying Pencils Made it Into... Ilsundal 239 Translating for The Army in Deutschland Teerts 240 Harrey Carrey's a Drunk, But We Still Love 'em Jook 241 My Life Is Shit Becud Why Dee FishLipper 242 LIKE A GOURMET CHOLESTEROL FREE BREADSTICK Kaia 243 Grumble. Grumble. Scott S. 244 Colfax, Colfax - I love thee Jook 245 Albert Knibschuk Styx 246 Gaa-nomes Aster 247 Penis Plural Is NOT Penii Pezmonkey 248 Sort of Just Filler Guardian 249 Natural Selection By Equality AltRocks 250 You butt-poking anal baby Styx 251 The Gingerbread Man File13 252 Fishies Aster 253 Apotheosis Lifelike 254 Today's Forecast: Intelligent and Dreary With an 85% Chance of Insanity AltRocks 255 A Crackpot Mathematician Analyzes The Fifth Dimension In Layman's Term Swiss Pope 256 Return To BBS Greatness Nybar 257 Serious Art A La T.S. Eliot Zaff & Soybean 258 Hello, This Submission Is So Bad It's Funny Northstar 259 Being Accepted In Public Chris Cox 260 Why I Won't Be At Graduation Cyn 261 HOE HAS BEEN SEIZED! Ziego Vuantar 262 An Act of God Jesse 263 Pig Story Nybar 264 About me! Glynis 265 How To Maintain the Mr. Sensitive Persona with the Girl Who Just Shit All Over Your Life Trilobyte 266 Bruce Corey's 15 Minutes of Fame: An Interview in the Dew Cycle Fenris J. Sunswallower 267 Some Stuff I Wrote Arhat 268 The Dorm Room Bong Neko 269 Undulating Mr. Lizard Trilobyte 270 The Coming of the Lord Cyn 271 An Interview with Ben Ohmart Mogel 272 Flip The 'Off' Switch Charlie 273 6 Things That Are Always Funny Mogel 274 An Epilogue to Wargames Neko 275 Libertarians Nybar 276 Librarian Phone Sex Mutter 277 Drunk at 3AM Phairgirl 278 Smart Bomb Seaya 279 Mel The He/she Girl Slug Aster 280 Should You Date The Devil? Anjee 281 Suicidal Tendencies Tasha 282 Public Transportation AnonGirl 283 Participles Are Perceptions, too Cstone 284 Sponsor an IRC Asshole Teerts 285 Sellin' Smack On Da Street Ain't No Treat, Unless Yo' Leet Like Mah Parakeet! Snaf00 286 Things To Do with a Brick Ramsey String 287 I Wanna Rock! Phairgirl 288 Political Science? Altrocks 289 The Benefits of Higher Education Teerts 290 Smashface Neko 291 Earl: The Flightless Balloon Aster 292 Mother Goose is a Pervert Anjee 293 Yeah Kreid 294 I Need an Inexpensive Computer Anonymous 295 New Teenage Girl Magazine: Girl Vibe Quarex 296 Pictures of Our Genitalia Rush2 & Xgirl 297 The Basics of Brother Torture Inner Logic 298 Suffer the Children Zaff 299 POETRY EXPLOSION 2! Various Artists 300 Meet The Writers The HOE Staff 301 The BIG-ASS Story Various Artists 302 Christian Science Ramsey String 303 Harlan Ellison Responds in an Out of Context and Pointless Manner to an Equally Out of Context and Pointless Usenet Capture Squinky 304 Space People Aster 305 Rise of The Mogels, The Final Chapter Trilobyte 306 The Short-lived Diary of William Ernest Nuremberg, M.D., The Big Stupid Jerk Kreid 307 Sand Paper Trilobyte 308 Killing People Nybar 309 A History of Shame Squinky 310 Hey, I'm an Asshole, too! Teerts 311 Moo, Oink, Quack, Meow Anjee 312 Beepers Mutter 313 Girls, Girls, Girls AnonGirl 314 A Cheery Medium Pace LilNilHil 315 Veggie Burger Eatin' Hippie Reject Phairgirl 316 In The Beginning... AnonGirl 317 HOE Supports Teleconferences Tasha 318 Twenty Ways to Deal With Being Dumped Cyn 319 Girls That Write Text Files Know Everything About Love Mogel 320 Same Sex Marriages Neko 321 ARKANOID Styx 322 How to Make Top Ten Lists Avenger 323 Bums and the Everlasting Search for God The Jester 324 Why I Don't Eat Fondue Meenk 325 Jesus In Your Cereal Ashtray Heart 326 Fuck Tibet Zaff 327 The Crap I Write PezMonkey 328 Mogel is GOD Anjee 329 Better Living Through Chemistry? Kreid 330 I Need a New Roommate Cyn 331 Regarding Webster Mogel 332 It's JUICE! AnonGirl 333 Are You Man Enough? Nybar 334 A LOT OF BAD THINGS I'VE DONE Squinky 335 IRC Must Die Ashtray Heart 336 Going Out For Drinks Swiss Pope 337 I am Uberground Meenk 338 Anal Retentive People Are Fun! Muze 339 The... House Meow 340 Drugs are bad, mmMM kay? TPP 341 Learn About Pagenwait! Pagenwait 342 It Was Unmistakably Human Darwin 343 Annoying Scratch Glynis 344 I Want To Fuck A Midget Ashtray Heart 345 Selected Witty Retorts For Completely Desperate Idiots Mogel 346 Death Becomes Him Neko 347 Christian Conspiracy Anjee 348 Precisely Viledandy 349 A Bunch of Little Notes I Wrote to Myself Kreid 350 The Origin of Euphoria AnonGirl 351 People are Dumb and Stupid and Jerks and Mean and Evil and Really Quite Cruel and I Don't Like Them One Bit Squinky 352 It's a Conspiracy Mr. Sandman 353 Leave Me Empty Tasha 354 The Chair Deadpan 355 Square Dancing with The Fucking Fatsos Ewheat 356 Bitchin' Text File Ramsey String 357 Sad Days Aster 358 Reforming Your Tenets The Jester 359 The Jerry Springer Show Neko 360 Lifestyles Ashtray Heart 361 From Ape to Man, to Ape Again: Darwin's Dilemma Anjee 362 Manic Depression Phairgirl 363 Wild Man Goes Hunting Apollo 364 Harp or Motion? Trilobyte 365 I'm Complicated, Part 2 LilNilHil 366 The True Meaning of Christmas Mutter 367 Death Notification Squinky 368 A Life More Ordinary Girl From Mars 369 What Really Happened at Christmas Avenger 370 Gerbil Feed Bomb Swamp Ratte' 371 Naked People (Are People, too) Paganini 372 Internet Depression LilNilHil 373 Geeks With Big Dicks Darwin 374 Jesse's Self-destructive Methods The Jester 375 Unsatisfactory Behavior Cap'n Sparky 376 Teletype's First Lay Squinky 377 The Problem with Pooh Paganini 379 GUNS N' FUCKIN' ROSES Kreid 380 I Want My Fucking Anubi Avenger 381 Ego et Internet Isaac 382 I Thought Ignorance Was Supposed To Be Bliss Caitlin 383 Microsoft, Clinton, and Mogel's Balls Vyrus 384 That Time I Tried to Conquer The World or Something LilNilHil 385 Macking Mogel 386 This History of Capitalism Ashtray Heart 387 A Goat Named Abel Kreid 388 True Story Isaac 389 Electrifying Discoveries On Alcohol Anjee 390 Is it Normal or Ugly? Daisy 391 plaZa auTomatIon Trilobyte 392 Drivel LilNilHil 393 Let's Be Friends Hal08 394 Phairgirl's Diary Phairgirl 395 House of the Rising Sun: Innsmouth, USA Ken Ichigawa 396 Macking Methods: A Rebuttal Quarex 397 Looking For A Handle? Various Artists 398 The HOE Rejects Various Artists 399 Intentional HOE Rejects The HOE Staff 400 Choose Your Own Adventure   [ Interactive Version ] Various Artists