-> "Driven"
 -> by AnonGirl
 -> Taken from HOE #1000 (1/9/00)

	Jake Trent lived in Cleveland, Ohio, and liked to drive his car.  
 He didn't have a fancy car with a thousand functions, just a plain old
 car.  One day, after a long day at the office, Jake got into his car and
 drove home.  His eyes were burning from the fluorescent lights.  Before
 he got home, though, he had to run a few errands.

	The first errand was to stop off at the Drive-Thru ATM, so that he
 could get some cash for the rest of his errands.  He liked the
 convenience of not having to get out of his car and still be able to get
 money from the bank.  It was comforting to him.

	For the second errand, he had to go to the Drive-Thru post office,
 to mail a package to his friend Marcy, in Oregon.  He liked the fact that
 he didn't have to wait in line while reading Most Wanted posters amongst
 hostile citizens, who were also waiting in line.  It gave him peace of
 mind.

	The next errand was to stop at the Drive-Thru liquor commission,
 to pick up some alcohol for the office Christmas party.  He bought wine,
 vodka, and tequila.  He liked the idea of not having to go into the
 liquor store at this time of year, because of the crowds and robberies.
 He felt safer using the Drive- Thru.  Wouldn't you?

	Jake remembered the night before, and how a burglar tried to break
 into his house.  Since he didn't have an alarm system, he decided that it
 would be best to purchase a gun, to protect himself.  He made a quick
 stop at the Drive-Thru Gun and Ammunition store, and picked up a 99 STO
 Autococker, along with some ammo, for a reasonable price.  He knew no
 burglar would mess with him, now.

	After his trip to the gun shop, Jake was famished.  He stopped at
 the Drive-Thru McDonald's, and ordered a number two, which was a Quarter
 Pounder with cheese, fries, and a drink.  He noticed that they were
 selling Teenie Beanie Babies, and asked for a Nip the Cat.  The girl
 said, "I'm sorry, sir, but we're all out of Nip the Cat.  Would you like
 Seymour the Seal, instead?"  However, Jake didn't want Seymour the Seal.  
 He politely declined the nice lady's offer, and went on his way.  He felt
 like living on the edge tonight, so when he was through with his Sprite,
 he knocked back almost the entire bottle of vodka.  He thought it'd be fun!

	On the way home, Jake was driving through the 'hood, and decided
 that now was a great time to try out his new weapon.  He saw a group of
 chillin' homeboys standing on the corner, and opened fire on the bunch,
 killing each homey.  He'd never been involved in any Drive-Bys before,
 only Drive-Thrus.  He kind of liked it; it made him feel new and different.

	Soon after, he was stopped by the police, who drove him down Death
 Road, to the local penitentiary.  He was sentenced to death, where he
 would awaiting execution on Death Row.  His last request was to obtain
 his lethal injection via Drive-Thru.

	His request was denied, so he settled for an ice cream cone and a
 cigarette.