-> "Picture This"
 -> by Caitlin
 -> Taken from HOE #1000 (1/9/00)

	Picture this, a familiar scene in #ezines on EFnet once upon a
 time... you've got your typical asshole criticizing the new comers about
 their angsty teen rants, a few lazy fat-asses talking about their
 favorite book by Vonnegut, or their favorite pop song, and then there's a
 few pseudo-intellectuals discussing philosophy or politics.  Of course,
 you can't forget the few unwittingly ignorant people that frequent the
 channel as well.  They're talking about their breasts, or clothing, or
 maybe their GED test, or drugs.

                   BIGGIE BIGGIE BIGGIE CAN'T YOU SEE?

	"Flowering like a.... flower... with children's tear drops
 poisoning the leaves, salt infiltrating the dirt like it was running away
 from the IRS," she read aloud in class.

	Silence from the students.

	"Picture this," she began, "There's a girl on the corner of
 Michigan Avenue selling flowers for mothers day for five dollars extra,
 and we're going to go to the grocery store to buy the $1.99 bouquet on
 the way home from school so we can give them to our mothers in a rush,
 and a quick kiss on the cheek."

	Silence.	

	Okay, picture this:  there's a girl in my choir class that makes
 me want to cut my face off.  Beyond the boundaries of cliques and fascist
 fingernails tapping on the books they don't open, she is definitively
 annoying.  Need more to work with?  "LIKE, OH MY GOD, YOU TOTALLY HAVE NO
 MAKEUP ON TODAY!@#@#$!?!@!"

	Hahahaha, she almost cried.

	Detour--picture this:  caring about someone so incredibly, you
 would work ten times harder then usual just to make a future with them
 possible. Once upon a time, there was a girl who could get perfect grades
 if she had the motivation.  Then after love's arrival, she strikes a 4.0,
 with a recommendation into advanced placement courses.  Last year she was
 sweeping hallways for grades.  Who are we talking about?

                       TH-TH-THIS DANCE IS MINE

	Pictures aren't enough to keep her going, you know.  Skipping
 class, even for the doctor is discouraging.

 <dumbgirl> HAHAH I GET LOTS OF DATES BECAUSE MY TITTIES ARE REALLY BIG!!!!
 <asshole> hah 
 <smartguy> Buddhism of course takes its roots in Hindu, from India. the
            ancient Hindi texts pre-date anywhere from 1500 B.C. or 
            earlier--they were the old teachings, called "vedas".  a lot
            of this vedic scripture was based on the culture, and there's
            many Hindu stereotypes.  I'm obviously not very concerned with
            Hindu, although it's important to bring up since not only does
            Buddhism take its roots there, but it is still a present
            religion in the world and has some interesting philosophical
            ideas of its own.
 <smartgirl> I just read The Dharma Bums. I hate Buddhism from now on,
             okay?
 <girl> I got drunk with a cute boy.
 <fatass> I am so fat, yo.  I like to eat.  I also like Marilyn Manson
          and Korn.  Sometimes I listen to FATboy Slim. hahahaha, THIS IS
          BECAUSE I AM FAT!!!
 <fatass2> Whoa, I am fat, too.  I eat, too!  I hate pokemon!  I hate
           lots of stuff.  Oh, yeah, I like food.
 <null> I have a cat!  Her name is Anna!  She drools!!
 <acoustyxx> I like beer.  My girlfriend is hot, hahhahaha, fuck you all!
 <STD> HAHAHAHA QUINN THE ESKIMO!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA FUCKING SHIT 
       (subtext: I am in love. I am better then you all, hahahaha.)
 <somegirl> haha, yer cute, hahaha.  Why aren't you here?
 <smartguy> Well, you know, "Buddha" comes from an ancient language of
            writing called "Sanskrit".  Reference is made to this, of
            course, because it's a language that doesn't exist anymore,
            but many Buddhist texts are originally written in.  Buddha,
            which originally comes from the word "Budji" (meaning
            "Perfected mind"), was a term to come after Sidhartha died,
            however, in a sense.  Anyway, I'll be referring to Sidhartha
            as "Buddha" every now and then, but it's important to note
            that the word is also qualitative, as something can be
            "Buddhist"--and it was furthermore made clear that the
            "Buddha nature" existed within everyone.
 <asshole> shut up
 <asshole> i am better then you all
 <someguy> fucking drugs.. legalize it alllllll... 
 <somegirl2> i hate laundry! you all think i am stupid, but i'm really
             a smart person. see.. i have this problem where i graduated
             stupid, i appear stupid, but i'm really not stupid. see.. I
             have a cat... she's not stupid either.
 <dumbgirl> i went to the store yesterday, and all the guys were staring
            at my titties.
 <asshole> hah
 <STD> YOU FUCKING JERSEY TRASH