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    ####  ###                "The Secret Geeks"                    ###
     #######                       by 7om
      ####

 Dear Billy:

	I'm forming a secret society and I think you'd fit right in.  
 It's for people who are, you know, swell, but are forced to keep their
 swellness in the closet because of all those stone cold swellfolks (you
 know, like The Beev?)  I, for one, am just sick and tired of those
 excessively swell goody-two-shoes creeps getting all the attention.

	I'm swell too, by golly, I spit-shine my shoes and hair every day,
 but you don't see me sharing a chocolate malt at the malt shop after
 school.  Wanna know why?  Well, I'll tell you!  It's because of my Dad!!
 When I tell that old son-of-a-gun that I need more checkered sweatshirts
 and penny loafers, he shoots me down every time.  This happened to me
 just the other day, in fact:

	"Hey, Pops!"

	"Hi, son.  How was your day at school today?  Did you ace that big
 Geometry test?"  By golly, it's like all he cares about is my grades!

	"Gee golly, Dad, I can't even think about that right now.  All the
 gals and fellas at school are making fun of me, 'cause I wore this
 sweater-vest earlier this week and Mom hasn't even washed it since then!"

	"Well, son, have a seat.  Let me explain something to you: your
 mother is a very busy; ever since Daddy got his pharmacist's license
 revoked, Mommy's had to work two jobs, and, by golly, she just doesn't
 have the time to do your laundry anymore, Timmy."

	"Aww gee Dad, that's true and all but..."

	"No buts, Timmy.  You're going to have to start doing your own
 laundry.  Your mother and I also think that YOU should think about
 getting a job of your own.  You're becoming a young man, son; you're
 going to have to start pulling your own weight if you expect to keep
 living under this roof."

	Well, there you have it, Billy!  Dad sure taught me a lesson
 that day.  I'm gonna have to make some cut-backs, by golly, and if
 that means me being less-than-swell, well then gee, I guess that's
 what I'll have to be.  Are you with me or not?  Shucks, I sure hope
 so.

	TEN YEARS LATER, TIMMY KILLED A MAN AT A POT PARTY AND WENT
 TO JAIL FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

	BILLY, DESPITE HIS CHUM'S PLEAS, HAS REMAINED ENTIRELY SWELL
 TO THIS DAY AND IS CURRENTLY RESIDING IN LITTLETON, COLORADO.

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 # (c)2000 aNAda e'zine                                aNAda053 .*.  by 7om #
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