-> "The Key to True Happiness"
 -> by Kreid
 -> Taken from HOE #500 (3/3/99)

     // / / / /
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   /      \
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 ( (  //  |    --- GREETINGs>> MY NAME IS PROFESSOR KRZNPSK.  I WILL BE
  \       |        YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.  PLEASE FOLLOW ME.
   \     ~~~ 
    )       )
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          /


  +-------------------+
  |                   |               \---------------------
  |                   |                |                 |
  |   P   H  .    D   |                |   IMGREAT       |0
  |                   |                |                |
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  |                   |                /_---------------|
  +-------------------+

                                                ?/// / /
 FIRST LY,  ALLOW ME TO SHOW TO YOU THAT I      o O   |==
 AM INDEED A REPUTABLE PERSON.  THESE ARE     ---     |
 MY DEGREES!  IMPRESSED?                       ~~~ \\ |
                                              (       |


          / / ///
         = O O ==
         |//^  |     ON WITH THe LESSON HERE IS OUR SUBJECt.  HIS NAME IS
         \(~~~~ )    LOVEBOY.   LOVEBOY LOVES EVERYTHING!
          `-----'
            ||
           /|~~~~                                .  ______  ,
          / |                                     \(  00  )/
           \|                                      (   =^ )
           _|_                                     ( `--' )
          _| |_                                    ~~~||~~

 /////
 | Oo|
 |   ---    YES ITS TRUE.  IN LOVE WITH THE WORLD, LOVEBOY HAS FOUND TRUE
 |// |      HAPPENIS.  SEE LOVEBOY PLAY.
 | ~~~~)
 \   /~

                                      _____
                                     (     ~)    hi everyone!  gosh these
                                  X  ( 0 0  )    rollerskates sure are fun!
                                  `--(\___/ )--
                                     (______)
                                       / |
                                      /  |
                                    o\  o~o
                                     o

               ~
               ~
   //// / /
    9 o                                                             ~
 =   ------    ~   SEE LOVEBOY FUCK                                
 |//___        ~                        _______   __XoX___       
 | |  ========-                        (    X X) (        )       ~
 |  ~~~~~)                             (     & ) (  i  i  ) /O==- ~
 |      /           i'm makin' love!  /(   \---)\(   ^__  )/
                                     / (_______) (_xx_____)  give it to me
                                     \o    ((8===-(Y) ))            uhh
                                            \ \  /   \    
                                            / /\/     \/            oh god
                                            \ \

                                                               // / / /
 LOVEBOY, HOW DO YOU DO IT?  WHATS YOUR SECRET?                 o O
 WHY ARE YOU SO GODDAMNED HAPPY?                              ~~     ==
                                                               |  \\ |
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          _____________                                      (~~~    |
         (             )                                      ~~\    |
    \    (    0  0     )    /
     `---(     ^       )---'
         ( \       /   )      i dunno!!!  i just am!!!
         (  \_____/    )
         (_____________)
              |  |
            __|  |__

                       THE END