-> "Fat Frannie"
 -> by Kreid
 -> Taken from HOE #1000 (1/9/00)

        fat, fat frannie sat around eating her fries.  she liked to eat
 fries because they made her fatter and also because they covered her face
 with a layer of delicious grease.

        "GAAMMM GHAHHAJJAJAJAJAJBJAHL," said fat frannie.

        "uh-oh," said old man skinnybones.  old man skinnybones was fat
 frannie's husband, best friend, and lover.  old man skinnybones loved fat
 frannie with all his skinny heart, which could be seen beating weakly
 through his thin, pale, translucent flesh.

        "uh-oh," said old man skinnybones, "sounds like fat frannie wants
 some more fries!"  old man skinnybones liked to think that he knew what
 fat frannie's groans meant, since he loved her so much.

        but the truth was, old man skinnybones couldn't tell a "GAAMMM
 GHAHHAJJAJAJAJAJBJAHL" from a "PHHHHHHBRBBTHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEFFPF ARF
 ARF ARF ARF MEOW," which, by the way, meant "i need some more fucking
 fries right now!"

        old man skinnybones flipped through some of fat frannie's
 flesh-folds, searching for his car keys so that he could go get his lover
 some more fries. he flipped through those flesh-folds just like always,
 flap flap flap until he smelled shit, then go back one.  there, old man
 skinnybones found his wife's beautiful love cavern honeypot, in which his
 heart and his car keys remained when he wasn't using them.

        "your pussy smells so beautiful, my lardy lover," said old man
 skinnybones.  "just spread your thighs a little more if you can so i can
 get the car keys, okay, lover?"

        "GAAMMM GHAHHAJJAJAJAJAJBJAHL," replied fat frannie, as she
 grabbed old man skinnybones by the loose flesh on the back of his bald
 head and shoved it directly into her soft, stinking cooter.  "GAAMMM
 GHAHHAJJAJAJAJAJBJAHL" was the phrase fat frannie used when she wanted to
 be pleasured orally.

        old man skinnybones happily began licking and sucking at his
 lover's vagina, which became progressively more wet with foul-smelling
 greasy fluid. when his wife reached orgasm, as always, old man
 skinnybones's head was crushed inside a 400-pound vice of thigh-meat.  
 when he came to, he had shit himself.