99 Chimpanzees
Bullies in jeans
sense a new target
mob goes wild
knuckle-walking to his home
Peering in his windows
climbing on his roof
leering at his family --
starting to display!
Pant-hoot hoot hoot
Pant-hoot hoot
National security
Pant-hoot hoot hoot
They burst inside his home
swinging all around
inspecting every cranny
a grand chimpanzee time
And then they find their target
drag him out the door
swat him as they go
spinning in delight
``To the pedestal'' one hoots
the others all agree
to the pedestal they take him
force him up on top
Now they point and hoot
dancing all around
then 10 chimps knock him off --
Paaaaaaannnnt-hoot! This is good!
He fell from grace, he flew too high
ho ho ho all the tired taunts we love
put him back up a few times
we love so much to knock him down
New game! We'll tell him its a game
a game he has to play
where we make all the rules
and we do all the judging
And by the way, he lost!
hoot hoot hoot ha ha ha...
But chimpanzee rampages
have a way of dying down
and all the other champanzees
are looking at the 99...
He made us do it
We did it for you
For the children
For all that we hold dear
And some stupid chimpanzees buy it
And some scared chimpanzees buy it
And some complicit chimpanzees buy it
And some greedy chimpanzees buy it
And some chimpanzees waiting
for the fun
of the next rampage
[My sincerest apologies to all actual chimpanzees.]