Ms. F. Story

I was born in Livingston, Alabama in the year 1977. My parents later moved to Alexander, Virginia. There we lived in a military apartment. My father worked for the IRS in Washington while my mother was a stay-at-home mom. They really knew how to take care of my siblings and me. For example, one of my fondest memories of them is when they would give my brother and me a birthday party on the same day. A birthday cake was divided between the two of us. On one side of the cake were my candles and lollipops and on the other side were his. These celebrations always occurred even though his birthday was a month later than mine. Afterwards, they would take us out to a popular restaurant (i.e., McDonalds or Burger King).

During that same time in Virginia, the government experimentation occurred. I was 2 years old and my brother was 4. That’s when I remember these men following me. They would follow me around almost anywhere. My brother told me that he had seen the shadows of two men. He also told me that the shadows of the two men had really scared him. Then, somehow, only God knows how, I was in an office with two people - a woman and a man. The office was as small as a one-car garage. It had a lamp, table, and a dentist-like chair. The man was very gawky, wore glasses, and had short grayish-black hair. The woman was chubby and had shoulder length hair. The dentist-like chair that I was placed in had ear cuffs that held my head in place (see picture below). The man would sit behind my chair and in an angry voice say, “Sit still!” He placed this pink metallic-like object behind my head. The pink metallic-like object emitted something, which I think was an implant. I felt no pain. It felt like the gush of wind that you get during a glaucoma eye test. Afterwards, the woman that stood next to me had these papers and read it trying to brainwash me. Some of it was racist. For example, she would tell me, “Black children are brighter than white children.” She would say things that seemed to say how white children were better than black children.

I believe that the implant that was placed in my head when I was 3 years old started all my voice harassment. When I was around 11 years old, these voices began. At first they were very low and faint. Then, in the 8th grade, they became loud and lewd These men made it appear that they were shouting things from the windows. At my house they said such things as, “Take off your clothes!” or “Bend over!” One voice said, “Oh, I am so horny!” I could also hear a man and a woman having intercourse. They even reminded me of my past childhood. For instance, they would talk about how a group of boys had once pulled down their pants and showed me their private parts. They actually wanted to have sex with me because they talked about my private parts.

A couple months after the voices began, I was placed in a hospital. These men, who were still constantly harassing me at intolerable levels, forced me into a psychiatric unit of a hospital for 2 weeks. I had an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) of my brain, which was normal. I also had my brain monitored, which showed no abnormality. A nurse gave me pills daily.

After my hospitalization, they (voices) became a little bit bearable. I did not have the loud drill-like sounds in my head. They lowered their sound levels to whispering and lessened their sexual comments. In many places a group of men (voices) still said words randomly, which would make me appear to be a schizophrenic. At school these men made it appear that my classmates were saying rude comments about my clothes or hairstyles.

Currently if I am at an event, I have to ignore these voices because my family is primary before anything. For example, I just had to ignore them while I recently attended one of my family member’s white coat ceremonies for medical students. Even when they were shouting insulting remarks, I avoided them. I do not want to ruin everything for my family by constantly focusing on these voices. I just have to live and enjoy every special gathering even if these men do not want me to.

Renee