These are actual news papers and magazine headlines... Yes, these are real headlines. I somehow just had to put them here :P Compliments to Dark Fools Jokes mailing list ^-- No, the Jokes mailing list is not involved in DoS attacks. =P Include Your Children when Baking Cookies Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands Eye Drops Off Shelf Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax Plane Flew Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Stolen Painting Found by Tree Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Deer Kill 17,000 Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors