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file number 16 in our series

"So You Wanna Have Fun In School?"

by THE BEASTMASTER
&
GREAT ONE
(Capital letters are a great way to deal with the unknown)

'DA' DISCLAIMER:
We take no blame or hold no responsibility for any acts carried out whether
suggested, implied, or inspired by this text. This should be used for
informational purposes only. We ask that this file be uploaded around in
its original unedited form ONLY.

---------------

Ahh, the senior year. Time to kick back, right? Nope - time for fun! Possible
in that hellhole you know as school? Yeah, there's a few files like this one
out there, but this one is different. All of the ideas discussed within have
been tried and have worked successfully. Plus its been written recently!

Ideas:

Desk Flipping-
Well in my school, as in many others, we have these one peice
desk combo dealies. What I do is (of course when the teacher
isn't looking) carefully tip the desk over about 3/4 of the
way. Let go and start walking away. If you're good, you can
casually get across the room in time before he/she looks up.
This annoys them GREATLY and works at getting them upset
especially when done a dozen or more times in a class period.

Call Mr. Plumr-
Well this one is best if you're in a shop room or class. They
always have large sinks with a grating over the drain. Take
several pieces of paper towels and place them on top of the
drain opening. Turn on the water about 1/2 - 3/4 of the way
so that its not very noticable or noisy. (Works best when done
on a sink on the other side of the room, etc.) About 4-5
minutes later guess what happens. Muahahaha (evil laugh).
This makes for a big clean-up, so do it at the end of the
period to make sure you don't get stuck with a mop.

Call 911, There's smoke!-
Smoke bombs are the ideal element of fun in a class or hall. Of
course if you live in Chicago where they aren't sold, or
cannot get ahold of them otherwise you thought you were up the
creek, eh? Well they aren't that hard to make. My favorite
recipe is: 3 parts Potassium Nitrate, 2 parts Sulphur, 1 part
powdered charcoal (crush some Kingsford up), 1 part powdered
sugar. If you're in the Chicagoland area, the sulphur is sold
at Frank's Nursery & Crafts (as an insect killer for trees),
many Osco's (labelled as Flowers of Sulphur), most Walgreens
(labelled as Sublimed Suplhur); Potassium Nitrate is sold at
most large Dominick's and many Omni's (labelled as Swan brand
Saltpetre), and all can be found in the first aid materials
section. The other two should be self explanatory. I took a
sheet of Viva paper towel (use good shit that's pretty
thick) (and size the sheet down to however much of a batch
you're making), and mix your stuff together in it. Roll it
up, as if it were a burrito (or a joint, har) and tie it up at
either end with kite string (as if it were a roast beef <look
at them next time you're in Jewel>). Then take and douse the
roll in rubbing alcohol. Now the little roll can be placed
somewhere, lit, and the towel will catch right away. And you
have a good 30 second delay or so before it hit the goodies
inside and starts smokin' like a mo' fo', which is plenty time
to leave the suspicion scene. You can use other containers if
you want, and I would advise you test a couple out first
OUTSIDE since the stuff smells like rotten eggs after burned.
So what if your classroom smells like shit, so long as your
house doesn't! I suggest setting off several small ones, or
one biggie at once for the best effect. Of course these
aren't quite as powerful as the M80 size Smoke Bombs I have
seen, but these are cheep and easy to make. A good place to set
these off is in the garbage can, a locker, bathroom, etc.
They also give off a lot of neat blue flame, so use it to your
advantage if you can!

Fourth of July in winter- Fireworks are always fun to set off
in school. M80's wreak major havoc on the school's toilet
system, so send a few down that way sometime.

Speaking of bathrooms, a flare in the heat exchange is lots of
fun, and gives off a fair amount of smoke. Wait till you see
those janitors come running with the fire extinguishers!

You have guts?-
Well make signs and put them on the teacher or sub's back. Or
put them on their chair, so it ends up being taped to their
butt.

Money money money (ABBA)-
Pennies are the greatest of fun. Make sure to try and hit the
teacher too, we don't want to leave him/her out on the fun.
Go up to the supermarket and they'll sell you rolls of
pennies, and that way you don't have to fuck around in the
bank (discussed in another text file maybe, muahaha). 100
pennies cost guess how much- $100000! Wow, and you got an F in
math. $1.00's worth of pennies does go a long way, unless
you're throwing handfulls which has good effect, but is a
little wasteful.

Other small projectiles include: M&M's (not mindless mayhems)
Skittles, Good 'n' Plentys, Lemon Heads, any type of cheap,
small candies would work great. Evidence can be eaten in this
case, too.

Assemblies-
Get all your buddies and classmates together ahead of time and
whenever applause is neccessary, everyone clap in unison!
This drives principals nuts. "You aren't a good audience,
students."

You know what else works great in assemblies? Carbon Disulfate!
This is a clear liquid that smells like something better left
unsaid (well, I'll say it anyway. Ever walk near a dumpster
that has a few weeks worth of disposed food in it?) This has
many uses, and can be found in the science labs. Pouring a
large amount in the air return shall create a dissentful group
wherever those vents lead, and can cause the large amounts of people
in assemblies (and you thought I was getting off the subject) to
become roudy and start yelling their opinions on the vapors that
they have inhaled.

Subs-
This isn't an art, since 99% of them are dumbfucks that can't
get a real job. If you stumble upon one that won't excuse you
from class, the idea is to be a smart ass and just keep
fucking with them until they give in, and they usually do.
Threaten to mess with their car, whatever it takes.
Unfortunetly, some Subs are not as dim-witted as we would
like to think. There is always the one that fell for it the
first time, and won't the second (I will admit it is rare,
though). Make sure you size your Sub up before you strike,
because you never know if they are immune to your venom. . .

Lunchroom-
Yeah, if you have to eat in there, you have my pity. Make
light of the situation though. Food fights are always fun.
You can also find a insect or two (easy to find in your school)
and place them up with the food in the food lines (assuming
your school has a cafeteria style setup). Salt can also add
a hidden flavour to food. A hidden crunchyness too, if
enough is added to it. You can also mix up such things as the
food condiments like ketchup and mustard, mix them into the
mayo; the possibilities are just endless.

Stink bombs always clear the lunchline, remember. And those
little things you throw that go pop (I assume they are little
ammonium nitrate crystals) are fun, but lose their fasination
quickly.

HELP! Teacher!-
Yes, students usually call out the teacher's name when they
need help. Well take advantage of the situation, and keep
mentioning the teacher's name then looking away (don't let him
see you say it though). They will generally look up with a
"duh, what?" expression, and if you keep it up, they should get
real honked off.

In summary, the message is DON'T GET CAUGHT. If you aren't
slick, practice up, or have someone else be the idiot that
gets caught. But don't sucker the stupid people into doing it,
as they will almost certainly ratt on you. You'll end up being
the sucker. Just get them BLAMED. Or better yet, leave the
authorities at school perplexed, and have them look for the
culprit but find no one.

Write me (or Great One) on Destiny Knights and tell me how
your fireworks or smoke bombs turned out (or just for the
helluvit!)

-The Beastmaster
Great One
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THE END..............(?)