>> FIRST THE ADS FROM WOMEN
>> Size 10 .................. Size 12 at least.
>> 40-ish.................. 48
>> Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will
>> Athletic................ Flat-chested
>> Average looking......... Ugly
>> Beautiful............... Pathological liar
>> Contagious Smile........ Bring your penicillin
>> Educated................ College dropout
>> Emotionally Secure...... Medicated
>> Feminist................ Fat; ball buster
>> Free spirit............. Substance user
>> Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as slut
>> Fun..................... Annoying
>> Gentle.................. Comatose
>> Good Listener........... Borderline Autistic
>> New-Age................. All body hair, all the time
>> Old-fashioned........... Lights out, missionary position only
>> Open-minded............. Desperate
>> Outgoing................ Loud
>> Passionate.............. Loud
>> Poet.................... Depressive Schzophrenic
>> Professional............ Real Witch
>> Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section
>> Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat
>> Romantic................ Looks better by candle light
>> Voluptuous.............. Very Fat
>> Weight proportional to height..................Hugely Fat
>> Wants Soulmate.......... One step away from stalking
>> Widow................... Nagged first husband to death
>> Young at heart.......... Toothless crone

Heh, that's a pretty good interpretation!

[QUOTE=Steve B]>> Old-fashioned........... Lights out, missionary position only[/QUOTE]Sounds like a perfect match for some of the local board prudes.

You're a degenerate!

[QUOTE=Pixi]Heh, that's a pretty good interpretation!

Sounds like a perfect match for some of the local board prudes.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=SheerTerror]You're a degenerate![/QUOTE]That's Degenerate #1 to you, mister.

Sorry bout that. I do refuse to call you Mistress, tho. I have too much pride. :)

*Edit: Sorry, I see that you were calling ME mister. I promise to read the next post completely before I respond half-assed. I look quite the fool. :D

[QUOTE=Pixi]That's Degenerate #1 to you, mister.[/QUOTE]