ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store... Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend office with windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, let's just say,
I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: word.

COSTELLO: what word?

ABBOTT: word in office.

COSTELLO: the only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: the word in office for windows.

COSTELLO: which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: the word you get when you click the blue w

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: yes, you want real one.

COSTELLO: maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: real one.

COSTELLO: if it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2,3&4. Can I watch
them?

ABBOTT: of course.

COSTELLO: great, with what?

ABBOTT: real one.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What
do I do?

ABBOTT: you click the blue 1

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: the blue 1.

COSTELLO: is that different from the blue w?

ABBOTT: the blue 1 is Realone and the blue w is word.

COSTELLO: what word?

ABBOTT: the word in office for windows.

COSTELLO: but there's three words in office for windows!

ABBOTT: no, just one. but it's the most popular word in the world

COSTELLO: it is?

ABBOTT: yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other words left. It
pretty much wiped out all the other words out there.

COSTELLO: and that word is real one?

ABBOTT: real one has nothing to do with word. Real one isn't
even part of office.

COSTELLO: stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping
you have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: money.

COSTELLO: that's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: it comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: what's bundled to my computer?

ABBOTT: money

COSTELLO: money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: one copy

COSTELLO: isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.

COSTELLO: they can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: why not, they own it.

Haha, that's good.

Yah, but who's on first?

Regards,

Bill Gates... the third.

delta, you mean "third base"

kayaker: very good post. actually, the original "who's on first" was one of the first mp3's i ever had on my computer

I actually watched them do it on live TV. Variety shows with comics were standard fair in the early days of commercial TV. Only in Black & White also. You had more fun watching live commercials, where things could, and often did go wrong.

Regards,

Disavowed, I have a similar memory of this bit, Rain Man was one of the first pirated movies I had on my disk, errr, I mean...

Good work Kayaker. You must have had some time on your hands. Thanks for jogging my memory about Abbott and Costello.

Regards, kugi

Kayaker, that is your reward for creative work. . . They are calling you a idle bum!!!!

I have an extension for that statement:

Everybody that logs into this Board and/or does RCE has waaaaaay to much time on his/her hands.

You should find a job at a Local fast food restaurant or enlist in the Army instead, then you will be doing something really useful and productive

Whoah, whoa, whoah. Gee I'll have to put a disclaimer next time. The only credit I can take is a quick copy/paste from an email a co-worker sent me of this joke going the rounds.

So, yes, I am an idle bum. Also shiftless, a layabout, a vagabond and a cad. Perfectly suited to my job. When hired, I admitted my genitalia had been removed as a child. I was told in that case I could arrive at work 2 hours late. "Why?", I asked. "Well, this IS a government job after all, and since we all spend the first couple of hours sitting around scratching our balls, there's no need for you to come in for that!"

Well, I guess they call that having a eunuch lack of qualifications for the job. Although my own experience with government service was that everyone spent the first two hours trying to get someone else to scratch their ball or admire how HUGE they thought their's were.

Regards,