Issue Title Author 401 Jersey Girls Suck (I Wish) Hardcore 402 Why I Am Changing My Handle Squinky/AIDS 403 1999 Is The Year of The Apocalypse Caitlin 404 Another Statistic AltRocks 405 My Microwaveable Pillow Girl From Mars 406 Jacques Cousteau is An Alien and Still Threatens This Planet! Ashtray Heart 407 Stupid Fuckin' Gas Station Customers Daisy 408 Business Practice Mistawho 409 I Like Monkeys Holocost 410 Clear Bawta Isaac 411 The Day I Fucked That Hot Girl Caitlin 412 I Froze My Tits Off in Minneapolis Seaya 413 My Phallic Pistol Teerts 414 Meet Betty Phairgirl 415 Picking Your Ass in Public Anjee 416 A Package For a Girl Styx 417 That Silly Dog Trilobyte 418 FuCkelibacy Soot Rant Miasma 419 The Rape and Murder of Katherine Genovese AIDS 420 The Story of Want and Love Muze 421 RONCO PROPAGANDA RON POPEIL 422 Talented Mutter 423 A Day in The Life of a Gangster Belial 424 House and Home with Lynette Jennings AnonGirl 425 Organic Farming Kaia 426 Area 401 Laja Ajna 427 One Man, Standing At The Threshold Rantaslin 428 Lamb of God AIDS 429 An Agnostic Tourettic Obsessive Compulsive -- He Also Likes Bunnies Soybean 430 The Glorious Fate of a Boy Who Failed in Life... Kreid 431 Illicit Substances and a Carefree Lifestyle Quarex 432 Run From My Car Paganini 433 Le Rocke Hyperstructure Isaac 434 A Little Too Much About Me Meenk 435 The Insistence of Meaning Neko 436 Only in Quebec Anjee 437 Boogiemen Are Scary Aster 438 Alcohol Discoveries On Electrifying M4D 3LF 439 Confetti On Your Head Mogel 440 Ignorant Guardian Trilobyte 441 K-R4D vs. Emoticons :) Phairgirl & M4D 3LF 442 News Flash: Women Are Not Helpless Nitro-187 443 Purple Tasha 444 Understood Mutter 445 Legalize Suicide or Change! AltRocks 446 My Fucking Ex-Roommate Cyn 447 A Log of Boredom Avenger 448 What I Did During My Winter Break Girl From Mars 449 My Brother's Friends AnonGirl 450 Obituary for IM2K AIDS 451 Karaoke Phairgirl 452 I Am Trying to be Clever Neko 453 I'll Flip You For It Z 454 Computers 'n Stuff M4D 3LF 455 Sincerely Yours AIDS 456 The Bottle Rocket Gun -- A True Story Cap'n Sparky 457 The Futility of Education in America, Stupid. The Jester 458 Drunken Nice Guy Misogyny Rantaslin & Teerts 459 Why Do I Date Closed-minded Pricks? Caitlin 460 The Evil Comes Aster 461 Your Own Personalized Issue of HOE Mogel & Kaia 462 The Smartest Man Alive is Out There and He Only Wants to Help You Kreid 463 Breaking Up For Christ Phairgirl 464 Mass Media Reflecks 465 Urges of Sexual Gratification Miasma 466 Modern Art PezMonkey 467 Misery Takes a Victim Postal 468 Cereal Killas M4D 3LF 469 Dwelling On It Tasha 470 Gefallen Von Der Anmut Meenk 471 Warez Requests The HOE Staff 472 Sorrow Kreid 473 The Grinch That Could Not Pleasure Himself Hardcore 474 My Analytical Self Anjee 475 When The Beast Met The Outhouse... and My Fear is Great AIDS 476 Dubuque Hoes Phairgirl 477 Teerts Luvs #ezines Teerts 478 Yesterday Was A Text File Styx 479 Bill Clinton is A Fascist Mass-murdering Hypocrite TPP 480 The Final Voyage of the Golden Unmutak Tan Adept 481 The Girl Who Never Cried Wolf Girl From Mars 482 O, Classic Way Isaac 483 Mother's Green Sweater Jook 484 Drivers Education Caitlin 485 Kermit The Frog Meets The World Reflecks 486 Exploring Yourself... Healthy? Postal 487 A Critical Essay on Shakespeare Kreid 488 Enticing and Dicing Mooer 489 Head Full of Garbage Mutter 490 I Fell in Love Today Quarex 491 In Search of BigDaddy Paganini 492 Hairdryer of Instant Karmic Justice Uberfizzgig 493 Change of Heart? M4D 3LF 494 When a Mack Fails Anjee 495 You're Weird Tasha 496 Realizations, Pre-dawn. The Jester 497 Not Me, Not Now AnonGirl 498 How About A Nice Game Of Chess? Cap'n Sparky 499 Meet The Other Writers The HOE Staff 500 HOE: Representing Planet Earth The HOE Staff 501 Gnosis Kreid 502 A Vegetarian Moral Dilemma Art 503 Internet Dating Services AnonGirl 504 Addictive Personality Phairgirl 505 Live For Your Children Vyrus 506 Hypothetical Question Z 507 Oli Isaac 508 Yesterday Was Hell... Today is Butter ZZi 509 Realistic Fabrication Trilobyte 510 No Regrets, I Never Asked to Be Born Meenk 511 My Beef with Phil Collins Ashtray Heart 512 Teenage Angst Has Paid Off Well Kreid 513 LOL ROFLMAO LOL GOTCHA AnonGirl 514 Going To The Hotel, A Creative Piece Reflecks 515 No More Porn Hardcore 516 Prosthelyzation Phairgirl 517 Random Generic Neko 518 Bedtime Story Z 519 How I Blamed The Female Logic on Something That Can Be Proved, Maybe Anilos 520 For Kelly Isaac 521 Effective Fast-Food Training Phairgirl 522 After 5 Beers At The Amiga Convention Trilobyte 523 Memories with Pink-Floyd Ashtray Heart 524 For Kelly 2 Isaac 525 Introducing ReasonToVive AnonGirl 526 Auto Disconnect PezMonkey 527 Four Stories To Giggle Over Anilos 528 Viable Substitutions for Intelligence Caitlin 529 It's News to Us Uberfizzgig 530 Dreambath of Hallucinogens Tasha 531 So You Want To Be A Masked Vigilante Ashtray Heart 532 SVP Aidez Nous! AnonGirl 533 Murphy's Pub Trilobyte 534 Complete Crap LilNilHil 535 Too Young to Love, Not Old Enough to Marry Daisy 536 Bummer of a Dream Another Mike 537 Things That Annoy Me Anilos 538 For Kelly 3-6 Isaac 539 How Zines Are Made Nybar 540 When Yesterday Was Tomorrow AIDS 541 Call Me Naked Paganini 542 Why I'm Not an Angry Queer Cyn 543 Your Perfect Match (Ugol's Law) Ashtray Heart 544 Why Sex is NOT Better Than Masturbation AltRocks 545 Dirk Diggler Can Eat My Ass Out Meenk 546 Nobody Loves a Dishwasher Unrelated 547 A Love Story Caitlin 548 Instruction Manual for The Sexually Frustrated Reflecks 549 Just Another Friday AnonGirl 550 The Sweetest of Fruits Phairgirl 551 Happy Floggings Kreid 552 I Rawk ur m0m AnonGirl 553 Why Am I So Nice? Anilos 554 I Love a Man in Uniform Muze 555 CUSTENU.TLX Ashtray Heart 556 Drive Another Mike 557 My First C++ Program Seaya 558 For Kelly 7-9 Isaac 559 How I Really Feel Daisy 560 Create Your Own Fun! Phairgirl 561 An Explanation Of One Of My More Inscrutable Works Ashtray Heart 562 Friends Phairgirl 563 Real, Not Real Unrelated 564 The New Adventures of... Nybar 565 10 Things I Hate About Me AltRocks 566 How I Became Normal AnonGirl 567 Jessie and the Bunny Oregano 568 Do You Want Cheese With Your Whine? Granny 569 When Computers Go On Humanitarian Crusades Uberfizzgig 570 Why I'd Pity a Psychic Rhea 571 How Hardk0re Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Kaia 572 <darwin_> 'Can anybody tell me what's wrong?' Tasha 573 FACE CARD, FACE CARD, EVERYBODY LOVES A FACE CARD!!!!!!! Uberfizzgig 574 I Suck Phairgirl 575 Barbie's Untold Story AnonGirl 576 In Defense of Kinko's Ashtray Heart 577 Waiter, There's a Fly in My Primordial Soup Miasma 578 Yesterday I Saw True Vanity ZZi 579 Love's Labour's Lost Darwin 580 DNA, The Perfect Template for a Metaphor Anilos 581 He Needed Inner Healing, and NRMLGRL Knew It Kaia 582 Styx Debunks Marijuana Myths Styx 583 IRC is Better Than Stand Up Comedians Granny 584 THIS IS BULLSHIT Quarex 585 Satire On The Truth About Men Effy 586 Possibly Proverbial Parables, Volume One Trilobyte 587 Dear You Mutter 588 My Nomination for 'Greatest Eccentric of the 20th Century' Ashtray Heart 589 Gang Bang Business Trip Jamesy 590 Farmer Floyd Phairgirl 591 A Personal Rekolektion & HIStory of TELETYPE AIDS 592 The Secret History of Teletype AIDS 593 My Very First HOE Article by RottenZ RottenZ 594 The Night I Killed Eilien Oregano 595 Catatonia AnonGirl 596 Think For Ourselves? What Kind of Concept is That? Rhea 597 Mean Jimmy Gets Drunk Ashtray Heart 598 Child of Satan Effy 599 The Gojira Theorem Quarex 600 My Favorite Letter of The Alphabet Kreid 601 Three Stories for Children of All Ages Phairgirl 602 Words That Rhyme With Shed Ashtray Heart 603 The Girl From Mars' Superhero Story Girl From Mars 604 When All Else Fails AnonGirl 605 Driving to The Pacific and Jumping In Tasha 606 Little Dolls With BIG GUNS Beretta Ruger 607 Murder is Illegal, Embarrassment Isn't: A Realization... Anjee 608 Things That Annoy Me, Episode 2 Anilos 609 THE BEGINNING Quarex 610 My Second Hoe Article by RottenZ RottenZ 611 How to Win a Guess-Your-Age Contest Seaya 612 Widget's Nachos Aster 613 When Jamesy Met Caity Caitlin 614 The Smart, the Wooden, and the Ugly Kniht & Uberfizzgig 615 Why I Refuse to Believe in God Cyn 616 The Picnic Channel Oregano 617 Why I'm Not Cheering For Gonzaga Anilos 618 Help for Those in Need Twister 619 A Personal Tribute To A Man Named Hasslehoff Paganini 620 Music Is Evil!!!! AltRocks 621 Family Circus Anonymous 622 Saving Celebrities Cyn 623 Apocalyptica Plays Metallica By Four Cellos Phairgirl 624 Marilyn Manson, Friends, and Ex-Girlfriends Unrelated 625 Jack Frost Ashtray Heart 626 What I Know About Shawn Mullins Daisy 627 Boy, Everything Sure is Zany Phairgirl 628 HOE Warzzz RottenZ 629 A Point of View Anilos 630 ATTENTION: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND Ziego Vuantar 631 RFC-976 AIDS 632 Just a Prediction.. Anjee 633 I Suck, Part 2 Phairgirl 634 About Nothing Reflecks 635 Janet Reno Does Washington Lapse 636 Yeah AnonGirl 637 Memories Fuck Up My Shit Quarex 630 The Adventures of Princess Red, Part 1 Aster 639 I Forgot What I Was Going to Write About, So I Wrote This Instead Phairgirl 640 Kreid's 315,601st Textfile Kreid 641 Gnosis, Second Installment Kreid 642 AGHGHGHGHGH! Quarex 643 Ten Reasons Why I am Single Juliet 644 Seemingly Random RottenZ 645 Judge Not Jubjub 646 THE OLD ONES DEMAND COMPENSATION AIDS 647 dream you. The Jester 648 Yellow Monster Rhea 649 The Adventures of Princess Red, Part 2 Aster 650 Free Association Tasha 651 The Ill-begotten, Pseudo-ethics of Semi-janitorial Work: Cub Foods Style Hypomonk 652 A Plane Ticket for Yuri Trilobyte 653 The Sea Witch, aka The Seventh Son of a Seventh Son Ashtray Heart 654 Ode to My High School Friends Effy 655 Ask Clyde Clyde 656 The Effects of Alcohol and Drugs on Driving Ability Jubjub 657 Sexual Evolution Anilos 658 AN OPEN LETTER TO SCOTT ZIBBLE RottenZ 659 Trendy, Are We? Unrelated 660 God Spake Kreid 661 An Open Letter To HOE AIDS 662 The Death Of Mogel Oregano 663 Retards Look Like Sea Cows Effy 664 Phairguy? Phairgirl 665 DIAPER BABY MALE WANT WOMEN TO HUMILIATE HIM Ashtray Heart 666 Fifty-Nine Different Ways To Say Vagina Styx 667 I've Never Met Elmo Reflecks 668 The Only Time I Got Action XxX_Droo 669 When I Grow Up, I Want To Write For HOE Juliet 670 I Tricked Some Fat Kid Today RottenZ 671 Story of the Lost Cluster Anjee 672 Growing Up Sucks Jamezz 673 History Assignment Tasha 674 The Hog Shoe 675 Those Darn V-1 Rockets AnonGirl 676 Oh Boo Hoo! Poor Me! RottenZ 677 Drink The Pepsi, Luke Jammer 427 678 I Step On Shit and Sleep On The Floor RMW 679 I Don't Shoot Heroin Caitlin 680 A Real Fun Test! Yes! Reflecks 681 Ginny Innygunk Effy 682 My Chat Logs Get Results, Dammit Mr A Jim 683 Russian Women Through The Ages Jook 684 The Voice Of My Conscience Ashtray Heart 685 What Time Is It? Isaac 686 The Importance Of Friendship Angel Dust 687 A Complete Repudiation AIDS 688 Manuel's Good Night Trilobyte 689 A Black Snake in the Spring Rhea 690 Superhero Origins Uberfizzgig 691 A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME AIDS 692 The Trenchcoat Mafia And Me Neko 693 I Love a Charade Girl From Mars 694 Dubuque Big Daddy Bill 695 A Tourist Guide to Dubuque, Iowa Phairgirl 696 One and The Same Vlaad 697 I Know You're A Girl And All, But... AnonGirl 698 If It's Bikini Kill, It Must Be Friday Shana 699 Noppa Gets Us Laid: An Exploration in Stupidity Various Artists 700 GNOSIS: THIRD INSTALLMENT Kreid 701 Secret Coordinate Isaac 702 My Russian Past Life Cyn 703 The Biggest, Largest, Most Exciting Heist of All Time (Part One) Nybar 704 walden's life story. The Jester 705 Uno International Rhea & OzAdrian 706 Teenagers, Nazis, and the French Big Daddy Bill 707 FUMPHGLUM Aster 708 Bittersweet Memories of Childhood Lapse 709 Computer's Internet Interjen 710 The Death of IM2K AIDS 711 The #2600 Experience, Featuring SkYFLuXX Cstone 712 Dr. Seuss, What A Pervert! Six 713 Onion Rings Get No Respect! Clyde 714 fuckingbugs.com Effy 715 Less Is More, Whatever! Kernel Bob 716 I Think Your Problems Are Trite. LilNilHil 717 Struck A Chord Mr A Jim 718 Change Isn't Always Good Anilos 719 InfoSeek Says I'm Balding Phairgirl 720 The Final Class Project Oregano 721 Spies, Restaurants, and Laura's Mercedes Big Daddy Bill 722 A Love Letter To GrlFrMars AIDS 723 Chapter 2: The Gathering Storm Nybar 724 My Two Lives Six 725 Her Russian Life (The True One) Mr A Jim 726 Hitch-hiker Buddy JAMMER 427 727 Long Night, No Sleep Part 679 Neko 728 POKLIKLI Aster 729 Meaningless Mutter 730 I Am So Sexy Phairgirl 731 Sic Transit Gloria Mundi HOE E'ZINE 732 Suzie Isaac 733 Gramma McKee's Special Penis Advice McBoo 734 Getting All Towed-Up Big Daddy Bill 735 Oh, Sweet Love And Pain Laja Ajna 736 Chapter 3: The Wrath Of Gods Nybar 737 Ask Clyde, The Second Coming Clyde 738 Propaganda M4D 3LF 739 If Lish Were More Like Smoove B Crank 740 Flamingd24 Neko 741 Chapter 4: Nybar's Dilemma Nybar 742 The Lesser Creatures (and World Domination) Paganini 743 The Head Game That Went Bad But Turned Out Better xXx_Droo 744 Booth 53 Etienne 745 To Steve Phairgirl 746 What About Mine? Viledandy 747 The World I Live In Hort 748 Foreign Animals Talk Funny Six 749 Mary Aster 750 True Stories from IThinkICon Various Artists 751 A Love Letter To GrlFrMars, Part Two AIDS 752 Clouds, Picnics, and Colors Mogel 753 Clouds, Picnics, and Colors Aster 754 My Babble File Hooker's Ghost 755 Duck Hunt Fake Scorpion 756 Chapter Five: Rememberances Of A Mogel Nybar 757 It's Not The School's Fault Big Daddy Bill 758 BREATHE OUT. NOW. Ashtray Heart 759 Some Really Easy Ways To Get Free Sex Oscar Meyer Wilde III 760 ITIC Review Came Too Late Seaya 761 The Box! Devon 762 The Aster 763 Attack of the Mad Cow Effy 764 Something Stupid iNSaNe_GuRL 765 Bored & Old Neko 766 I'm Amazingly Horny Right Now Oscar Meyer Wilde III 767 MIX IT UP! GrlFrMars 768 Digestion Awesome Do About Mr A Jim 769 Chapter Six: Rumble At The River Nybar 770 Grade 8 Memory, In One Act AnonGirl 771 HOE Fan Mail Jessica 772 Moving Picture Mogel 773 Kid Cuisine Memories The Golden Boognish 774 Cookie Land Aster & Caitlin 775 I'm One BADASS Hacker Six 776 Part 7: The NATURE of the Heist Nybar 777 May and the Past Viledandy 778 Journal Spewings GrlFrMars 779 Reason Number 92347 Why Never To Drive A Thousand Miles To Have Sex With Someone: You Get To Fight With Them For The Next Two Years Phairgirl 780 Important Reminder Y-WiNDoZE 781 The Best Thing Since Plato's Academy AIDS 782 HuNNiE's HoT spOt Laja Ajna 783 Gavin and Nigel=Masterminds The Golden Boognish 784 Part 8: The TRUE Nature of the Heist Nybar 785 I Already Know What My Illegitimate Child Will Be Like Jammer 427 786 My Trip To Wayne Jubjub 787 My Philosophical Quest For True Happiness Continues Oscar Meyer Wilde III 788 Little Johnny Does A Heist Big Daddy Bill 789 A HOE File Tasha 790 I Don't Have Big Hair, Dammit Six 791 Hoe Dream AnonGirl & Miasma 792 I'm Going To Brush My Tooth, I Mean It This Time Cannibal Butterfly 793 Hill Picnic Trilobyte 794 The Animix Project Dennis Courtney & Basehead 795 The Peoria Beer Project Neko 796 THE DEAD AIDS 797 The Wise, Old Flower (Part 1) Aster & Mogel 798 Part 9--2 Stories, Part 1 Nybar 799 The Advice Letter Project The HOE Staff 800 The Golden Unmutak's Inception Tan Adept