listed by genre
listed by director
listed by title

My Favorite Beer Movies

Listed by director
Listed by title
Hall of Fame

Listed by Genre:

Adrenaline Pumpers
• Die Hard (1988)
• The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
• La Femme Nikita (1990)
• The Getaway (1972)
• The Killer (1989)
• Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
• Robocop (1987)
• Terminator 2 (1991)

Bio Pics

• An Angel at My Table (1990) -- author Janet Frame
• Citizen Kane (1941) -- newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst
• Lenny (1974) -- comedian Lenny Bruce
• Mountains of the Moon (1989) -- explorers Captain Richard Francis Burton and Lt. John Hanning Speke
• Prick Up Your Ears (1987) -- playwright Joe Orton
• Raging Bull (1980) -- prizefighter Jake LaMotta
• Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story (1987) -- aw, come on...

Comedies

• Blazing Saddles (1974)
• The General (1926)
• Local Hero (1983)
• Modern Times (1936)
• The Producers (1967)
• Raising Arizona (1987)
• Safety Last (1923)
• Slap Shot (1977)
• Tampopo (1986)
• Time Bandits (1981)
• Tune in Tomorrow (1990)
• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
• Young Frankenstein (1974)

Cops

• Deep Cover (1992)
• The French Connection (1971)
• High and Low (1963)
• Homicide (1991)
• In the Heat of the Night (1967)
• Klute (1971)
• Miami Blues (1990)
• Rush (1992)
• Seven (1995)
• The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
• To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)

Courtroom Dramas

• 12 Angry Men (1957)
• Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
• Presumed Innocent (1990)
• Rashomon (1951)

Documentaries
It's a style of filmmaking; it doesn't really have anything to do with whether the subject is real or fictional.

• American Dream (1992)
• Brother's Keeper (1993)
• The Decline of Western Civilization (1980)
• Gates of Heaven (1978)
• Harlan County, U.S.A. (1976)
• Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse (1991)
• Hoop Dreams (1994)
• Let It Be (1970)
• Real Life
• Roger & Me (1989)
• Salesman (1969)
• Sherman's March (1985)
• Streetwise (1984)
• The Thin Blue Line (1988)
• This Is Spinal Tap (1983)
• Vernon, Florida (1980)

Dramas

• Being There (1979)
• The Last Detail (1973)
• Searching for Bobby Fischer (1993)
• A Taxing Woman (1987)

Espionage, Assassination, & Terrorism Flicks

• Black Sunday (1976)
• The Conversation (1974)
• The Day of the Jackal (1973)
• The Falcon and the Snowman (1985)
• The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
• Marathon Man (1976)
• No Way Out (1987)
• The Parallax View (1974)
• Three Days of the Condor (1975)

Film

• The Big Picture (1988)
• The Player (1992)

Gunslingers & Samurai

• The Hidden Fortress (1958)
• Highlander
• High Noon (1952)
• El Mariachi (1993)
• Unforgiven (1992)
• The Wild Bunch (1969)
• Yojimbo (1961)

Hard-Boiled Detective/Film Noir

• Blade Runner (1982)
• Chinatown (1974)
• Hardcore (1978)
• Sunset Boulevard (1950)

Historical Pieces

• The Bounty (1984)
• Come See the Paradise (1991)
• The Devils (1971)
• Eight Men Out (1988)
• The Killing Fields (1984)
• Matewan (1987)
• Schindler's List

Horror Flicks

• Alien (1979)
• Barton Fink (1991)
• Deliverance (1972)
• Evil Dead 2 (1987)
• Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1990)
• The Hitcher (1986)
• In the Mouth of Madness (1995)
• Jacob's Ladder (1990)
• Naked Lunch (1992)
• Parents (1988)
• Rosemary's Baby (1968)
• The Shining (1980)
• Videodrome (1982)

Lives of Crime

• Badlands (1974)
• Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
• House of Games (1987)
• The King of Comedy (1983)
• M (1931)
• Pulp Fiction (1994)
• Reservoir Dogs
• Straight Time (1977)

The Mob

• Goodfellas (1990)
• State of Grace (1990)
• Things Change (1988)

Nightmarish Dystopias

• Brazil (1985)
• A Clockwork Orange (1971)
• Metropolis (1926)
• Motorama (1992)
• Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984)
• The Trial (1962)

Nihilism & Existentialism

• Baxter (1988)
• Taxi Driver (1976)
• Two-Lane Blacktop (1971)

Nuclear War

• Crimson Tide (1995)
• Dr. Strangelove (1963)
• Fail Safe (1964)
• Miracle Mile (1989)

People Pushed to the Breaking Point

• 52 Pick-Up (1986)
• After Dark, My Sweet (1990)
• Blood Simple (1983)
• Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974)
• Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
• Lifeboat (1944)
• The Lost Weekend (1945)
• The Rapture (1991)
• Spellbound (1945)
• They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969)
• Ticket to Heaven (1981)
• The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
• The Wages of Fear (1953)

Prison & P.O.W. Camp Movies

• Bad Boys (1983)
• The Great Escape (1962)
• Stalag 17 (1953)
• We're No Angels (1990)

Romance and Sex
None of these is a porno. When I have any favorite porn movies, they'll get a section of their own.

• Flirting (1992)
• Groundhog Day (1993)
• Harold and Maude (1971)
• The Lover (1992)
• The Piano
• The Rachel Papers (1989)
• She's Gotta Have It (1986)
• Wings of Desire (1987)

Slice of Life
Basically, these movies depict everyday stories with no real resolution... like real life, you know?

• Boyz N the Hood (1991)
• The Candidate (1972)
• City of Hope (1991)
• Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
• Downhill Racer (1969)
• Five Corners (1987)
• Grand Canyon (1992)
• Heaven Help Us (1984)
• Life Is Sweet (1990)
• Lost in America (1985)
• Mystery Train (1989)
• El Norte (1983)
• Passion Fish (1993)
• School Daze (1988)
• Stranger Than Paradise (1984)
• Wish You Were Here (1987)
• The World According to Garp (1982)

Television

• Broadcast News (1987)
• Network (1976)

Tragedy
The first thing presented to the audience is the story's ending. Since the ending is already a foregone conclusion, what we're seeing is the main character's self-destruction. If only he could have known what the audience knows, then he probably would have made different decisions.

• Othello (1952)

Vietnam Movies
If your first impulse after reading this sublist is to send email reminding me that M*A*S*H's setting was the Korean War, then please don't bother. I mean, use your head. It was only ostensibly the Korean War -- get it?

• Apocalypse Now (1979)
• The Boys in Company C (1977)
• Full Metal Jacket (1987)
• M*A*S*H (1969)

War Movies
This is probably the weirdest list of war movies you've ever seen, right?

• Aliens (1986)
• Hell in the Pacific (1968)
• Spartacus (1960)

Yakkity-Yak, All Talk and No Action

• Metropolitan (1989)
• Rope (1948)
• Swimming to Cambodia (1978)

Listed by Director:

• Woody Allen: Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
• Robert Altman: M*A*S*H (1969), The Player (1992)
• Jon Amiel: Tune in Tomorrow (1990)
• Jean-Jacques Annaud: The Lover (1992)
• George Armitage: Miami Blues (1990)
• Hal Ashby: Harold and Maude (1971), The Last Detail (1973), Being There (1979)
• Fax Bahr and George Hickenlooper: Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse (1991)
• Bob Balaban: Parents (1988)
• Martin Bell: Streetwise (1984)
• Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky: Brother's Keeper (1993)
• Luc Besson: La Femme Nikita (1990)
• Tony Bill: Five Corners (1987)
• Jerome Boivin: Baxter (1988)
• John Boorman: Hell in the Pacific (1968), Deliverance (1972)
• Albert Brooks: Real Life, Lost in America (1985)
• James L. Brooks: Broadcast News (1987)
• Mel Brooks: The Producers (1967), Blazing Saddles (1974), Young Frankenstein (1974)
• James Cameron: Aliens (1986), Terminator 2 (1991)
• Jane Campion: An Angel at My Table (1990), The Piano
• John Carpenter: In the Mouth of Madness (1995)
• Charlie Chaplin: Modern Times (1936)
• Henri-Georges Clouzot: The Wages of Fear (1953)
• Joel Coen: Blood Simple (1983), Raising Arizona (1987), Barton Fink (1991)
• Francis Ford Coppola: The Conversation (1974), Apocalypse Now (1979)
• David Cronenberg: Videodrome (1982), Naked Lunch (1992)
• Jonathan Demme: Swimming to Cambodia (1978), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
• Steve DeJarnatt: Miracle Mile (1989)
• Michael Dinner: Heaven Help Us (1984)
• Roger Donaldson: The Bounty (1984), No Way Out (1987)
• John Duigan: Flirting (1992)
• Bill Duke: Deep Cover (1992)
• Clint Eastwood: Unforgiven (1992)
• David Fincher: Seven (1995)
• James Foley: After Dark, My Sweet (1990)
• Bill Forsyth: Local Hero (1983)
• Bob Fosse: Lenny (1974)
• Stephen Frears: Prick Up Your Ears (1987)
• John Frankenheimer: The Manchurian Candidate (1962), Black Sunday (1976), 52 Pick-Up (1986)
• William Friedkin: The French Connection (1971), To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)
• Sidney Furie: The Boys in Company C (1977)
• Terry Gilliam: Time Bandits (1981), Brazil (1985)
• Ulu Grosbard: Straight Time (1977)
• Christopher Guest: The Big Picture (1988)
• Robert Harmon: The Hitcher (1986)
• Damian Harris: The Rachel Papers (1989)
• Todd Haynes: Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story (1987)
• Monte Hellman: Two-Lane Blacktop (1971)
• Alfred Hitchcock: Lifeboat (1944), Spellbound (1945), Rope (1948)
• George Roy Hill: Slap Shot (1977), The World According to Garp (1982)
• John Huston: The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
• Juzo Itami: Tampopo (1986), A Taxing Woman (1987)
• Steve James: Hoop Dreams (1994)
• Jim Jarmusch: Stranger Than Paradise (1984), Mystery Train (1989)
• Norman Jewison: In the Heat of the Night (1967)
• Roland Joffe: The Killing Fields (1984)
• Phil Joanou: State of Grace (1990)
• Neil Jordan: We're No Angels (1990)
• Lawrence Kasdan: Grand Canyon (1992)
• Buster Keaton: The General (1926)
• Irvin Kershner: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
• Barbara Kopple: Harlan County, U.S.A. (1976), American Dream (1992)
• Stanley Kubrick: Spartacus (1960), Dr. Strangelove (1963), A Clockwork Orange (1971), The Shining (1980), Full Metal Jacket (1987)
• Akira Kurosawa: The Hidden Fortress (1958), High and Low (1963), Rashomon (1951), Yojimbo (1961)
• Fritz Lang: Metropolis (1926), M (1931)
• Spike Lee: She's Gotta Have It (1986), School Daze (1988)
• Mike Leigh: Life Is Sweet (1990)
• David Leland: Wish You Were Here (1987)
• Michael Lindsay-Hogg: Let It Be (1970)
• Sidney Lumet: 12 Angry Men (1957), Fail Safe (1964), Network (1976)
• Adrian Lyne: Jacob's Ladder (1990)
• Terence Malick: Badlands (1974)
• David Mamet: House of Games (1987), Things Change (1988), Homicide (1991)
• Albert Maysles: Salesman (1969)
• Ross McElwee: Sherman's March (1985)
• John McNaughton: Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1990)
• John McTiernan: Die Hard (1988)
• Michael Moore: Roger & Me (1989)
• Errol Morris: Gates of Heaven (1978), Vernon, Florida (1980), The Thin Blue Line (1988)
• Russell Mulcahy: Highlander (1986)
• Gregory Nava: El Norte (1983)
• Fred Newmeyer: Safety Last (1923)
• Alan J. Pakula: Klute (1971), The Parallax View (1974), Presumed Innocent (1990)
• Alan Parker: Come See the Paradise (1991)
• Sam Peckinpah: The Wild Bunch (1969), The Getaway (1972), Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974)
• Sydney Pollack: They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969), Three Days of the Condor (1975)
• Roman Polanski: Rosemary's Baby (1968), Chinatown (1974)
• Otto Preminger: Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
• Michael Radford: Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984)
• Bob Rafelson: Mountains of the Moon (1989)
• Sam Raimi: Evil Dead 2 (1987)
• Harold Ramis: Groundhog Day (1993)
• Rob Reiner: This Is Spinal Tap (1983)
• Michael Ritchie: Downhill Racer (1969), The Candidate (1972)
• Robert Rodriguez: El Mariachi (1993)
• Richard Rosenthal: Bad Boys (1983)
• Ken Russell: The Devils (1971)
• John Sayles: Matewan (1987), Eight Men Out (1988), City of Hope (1991), Passion Fish (1993)
• John Schlesinger: Marathon Man (1976), The Falcon and the Snowman (1985)
• Paul Schrader: Hardcore (1978)
• Martin Scorsese: Taxi Driver (1976), Raging Bull (1980), The King of Comedy (1983), Goodfellas (1990)
• Ridley Scott: Alien (1979), Blade Runner (1982)
• Barry Shils: Motorama (1992)
• John Singleton: Boyz N the Hood (1991)
• Penelope Spheeris: The Decline of Western Civilization (1980)
• Steven Spielberg: Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), Schindler's List
• Whit Stillman: Metropolitan (1989)
• Mel Stuart: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
• John Sturges: The Great Escape (1962)
• Quentin Tarantino: Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction (1994)
• Ralph Thomas: Ticket to Heaven (1981)
• Michael Tolkin: The Rapture (1991)
• Gus Van Sant: Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
• Paul Verhoeven: Robocop (1987)
• Orson Welles: Citizen Kane (1941), The Trial (1962), Othello (1952)
• Wim Wenders: Wings of Desire (1987)
• Billy Wilder: The Lost Weekend (1945), Sunset Boulevard (1950), Stalag 17 (1953)
• John Woo: The Killer (1989)
• Steven Zaillian: Searching for Bobby Fischer (1993)
• Lili Fini Zanuck: Rush (1992)
• Fred Zinneman: High Noon (1952), The Day of the Jackal (1973)

Listed by Title:

• 12 Angry Men (1957)
• 52 Pick-Up (1986)
• After Dark, My Sweet (1990)
• Alien (1979)
• Aliens (1986)
• American Dream (1992)
• An Angel at My Table (1990)
• Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
• Apocalypse Now (1979)
• Bad Boys (1983)
• Badlands (1974)
• Barton Fink (1991)
• Baxter (1988)
• Being There (1979)
• The Big Picture (1988)
• Black Sunday (1976)
• Blade Runner (1982)
• Blazing Saddles (1974)
• Blood Simple (1983)
• The Bounty (1984)
• The Boys in Company C (1977)
• Boyz N the Hood (1991)
• Brazil (1985)
• Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974)
• Broadcast News (1987)
• Brother's Keeper (1993)
• The Candidate (1972)
• Chinatown (1974)
• Citizen Kane (1941)
• City of Hope (1991)
• A Clockwork Orange (1971)
• Come See the Paradise (1991)
• The Conversation (1974)
• Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
• Crimson Tide (1995)
• The Day of the Jackal (1973)
• The Decline of Western Civilization (1980)
• Deep Cover (1992)
• Deliverance (1972)
• The Devils (1971)
• Die Hard (1988)
• Downhill Racer (1969)
• Dr. Strangelove (1963)
• Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
• Eight Men Out (1988)
• The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
• Evil Dead 2 (1987)
• Fail Safe (1964)
• The Falcon and the Snowman (1985)
• Five Corners (1987)
• Flirting (1992)
• The French Connection (1971)
• Full Metal Jacket (1987)
• Gates of Heaven (1978)
• The General (1926)
• The Getaway (1972)
• Goodfellas (1990)
• Grand Canyon (1992)
• The Great Escape (1962)
• Groundhog Day (1993)
• Hardcore (1978)
• Harlan County, U.S.A. (1976)
• Harold and Maude (1971)
• Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse (1991)
• Heaven Help Us (1984)
• Hell in the Pacific (1968)
• Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1990)
• The Hidden Fortress (1958)
• High and Low (1963)
• Highlander
• High Noon (1952)
• The Hitcher (1986)
• Homicide (1991)
• Hoop Dreams (1994)
• House of Games (1987)
• In the Heat of the Night (1967)
• In the Mouth of Madness (1995)
• Jacob's Ladder (1990)
• The Killer (1989)
• The Killing Fields (1984)
• The King of Comedy (1983)
• Klute (1971)
• La Femme Nikita (1990)
• The Last Detail (1973)
• Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
• Lenny (1974)
• Let It Be (1970)
• Life Is Sweet (1990)
• Lifeboat (1944)
• Local Hero (1983)
• Lost in America (1985)
• The Lost Weekend (1945)
• The Lover (1992)
• M (1931)
• The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
• Marathon Man (1976)
• El Mariachi (1993)
• M*A*S*H (1969)
• Matewan (1987)
• Metropolis (1926)
• Metropolitan (1989)
• Miami Blues (1990)
• Miracle Mile (1989)
• Modern Times (1936)
• Motorama (1992)
• Mountains of the Moon (1989)
• Mystery Train (1989)
• Naked Lunch (1992)
• Network (1976)
• Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984)
• No Way Out (1987)
• El Norte (1983)
• Othello (1952)
• The Parallax View (1974)
• Parents (1988)
• Passion Fish (1993)
• The Piano
• The Player (1992)
• Presumed Innocent (1990)
• Prick Up Your Ears (1987)
• The Producers (1967)
• Pulp Fiction (1994)
• The Rachel Papers (1989)
• Raging Bull (1980)
• Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
• Raising Arizona (1987)
• The Rapture (1991)
• Rashomon (1951)
• Real Life
• Reservoir Dogs
• Robocop (1987)
• Roger & Me (1989)
• Rope (1948)
• Rosemary's Baby (1968)
• Rush (1992)
• Safety Last (1923)
• Salesman (1969)
• Schindler's List
• School Daze (1988)
• Searching for Bobby Fischer (1993)
• Seven (1995)
• She's Gotta Have It (1986)
• Sherman's March (1985)
• The Shining (1980)
• The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
• Slap Shot (1977)
• Spartacus (1960)
• Spellbound (1945)
• Stalag 17 (1953)
• State of Grace (1990)
• Straight Time (1977)
• Stranger Than Paradise (1984)
• Streetwise (1984)
• Sunset Boulevard (1950)
• Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story (1987)
• Swimming to Cambodia (1978)
• Tampopo (1986)
• Taxi Driver (1976)
• A Taxing Woman (1987)
• Terminator 2 (1991)
• They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969)
• The Thin Blue Line (1988)
• Things Change (1988)
• This Is Spinal Tap (1983)
• Three Days of the Condor (1975)
• Ticket to Heaven (1981)
• Time Bandits (1981)
• To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)
• The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
• The Trial (1962)
• Tune in Tomorrow (1990)
• Two-Lane Blacktop (1971)
• Unforgiven (1992)
• Vernon, Florida (1980)
• Videodrome (1982)
• The Wages of Fear (1953)
• We're No Angels (1990)
• The Wild Bunch (1969)
• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
• Wings of Desire (1987)
• Wish You Were Here (1987)
• The World According to Garp (1982)
• Yojimbo (1961)
• Young Frankenstein (1974)

My Favorite Beer Movies

Listed by Director:

• Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, and Jerry Zucker: Top Secret! (1984)
• Michael Anderson: Logan's Run (1976)
• John G. Avildsen: Lean on Me (1989)
• Paul Bartel: Death Race 2000 (1975), Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills (1989)
• John Carpenter: Dark Star (1974), They Live (1988)
• Matt Cimber: Butterfly (1981)
• Michael Cimino: Desperate Hours (1990)
• Alex Cox: Repo Man (1984), Straight to Hell (1986)
• Richard Elfman: Forbidden Zone (1980)
• Abel Ferrara: Bad Lieutenant (1993)
• Bill Fishman: Tapeheads (1988)
• Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1974)
• Mark Goldblatt: The Punisher (1989)
• Stuart Gordon: Re-Animator (1985), Robotjox
• Walon Green: The Hellstrom Chronicle (1971)
• Rowdy Herrington: Road House (1989)
• John Hess: Watchers (1988)
• Gordon Hessler: KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (1978)
• Arthur Hiller: The In-Laws (1979)
• Reginald Hudlin: House Party (1990)
• John Hughes: Sixteen Candles (1984)
• Tim Hunter: The River's Edge (1986)
• Brian G. Hutton: Kelly's Heroes (1970)
• Annabel Jankel and Rocky Morton: Super Mario Bros. (1993)
• Patrick Read Johnson: Spaced Invaders (1989)
• Terry Jones: Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979)
• Aki Kaurismaki: Leningrad Cowboys Go America (1989)
• Zalman King: Wild Orchid (1990)
• Andrei Konchalovsky: Tango & Cash (1989)
• John Landis: The Blues Brothers (1980)
• Michael Lehmann: The Applegates (1991)
• Mark Lewis: Cane Toads -- An Unnatural History (1987)
• Richard Linklater: Dazed and Confused
• Steven Lisberger: Tron (1982)
• Richard Lowenstein: Dogs in Space (1986)
• Peter Medak: The Men's Club (1986)
• Russ Meyer: Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970), Supervixens (1975)
• Steve Miner: Warlock (1988)
• Alan Parker: Bugsy Malone (1976)
• Gordon Parks: Shaft (1971)
• Sam Peckinpah: The Osterman Weekend (1983)
• Stewart Raffill: Mac and Me (1988)
• Sam Raimi: Crimewave (1985)
• David Lowell Rich: Airport '79 (1979)
• Nicholas Roeg: The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976)
• Ken Russell: Tommy (1975), Crimes of Passion (1984)
• Joel Schumacher: Falling Down (1993)
• James Signorelli: Easy Money (1983)
• Robert Townsend: Hollywood Shuffle (1987)
• Keenan Ivory Wayans: I'm Gonna Git You Sucka (1988)
• Alex Winter: Freaked (1993)
• Bob Zemeckis: Used Cars (1980)

every James Bond film
Pinnochio in Outer Space
KISS and the Phantom of the Park
Volunteers

Listed by Title:

• Airport '79 (1979) From a friend's description, I'm convinced that this is one of the great beer movies of all time. George Kennedy plays Captain Joe Patroni, pilot of the Concorde. A terrorist decides to... aw, it's beside the point. Suffice it to say, much aerial acrobatics ensue, including several moments of inverted flight(!!). When George Kennedy leans out an open window of the plane (traveling at Mach speed) to shoot a flare at the chase plane, that's when you gotta break out the Jack Daniel.

• The Applegates (1991) Giant cockroaches from the Amazon rainforest masquerading as an ordinary American family? I want a sequel!

• Bad Lieutenant (1993) Yes, Harvey gets naked. But what your friends may not have told you is that he gets naked while flying high on heroin with a coupla prostitutes, staggering around with his service-issue firearm. Ooh la la!

• Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) Exactly what was Roger Ebert thinking when he wrote this for Russ Meyer? My favorite line of dialogue involves the phrase "the black sperm of my vengeance!".

• The Blues Brothers (1980) Come on. You've seen this, haven't you? "Glue. Strong stuff."

• Bugsy Malone (1976) The little-kid gangster film starring Scott Baio and Jodie Foster.

• Butterfly (1981) Stacy Keach, Pia Zadora, and a cameo by Orson Welles. Who woulda thunk it? It's boring but undeniably fucked-up.

• Cane Toads -- An Unnatural History (1987) It's a documentary about the poisonous amphibians trying to conquer Australia. Honestly. You quickly start to hate the monsters, too. My favorite part is when this guy, trying to pop the little fuckers, swerves his van all over a road covered with the beasts.

• Crimes of Passion (1984) A certain ex-girlfriend of mine rated this movie a perfect 10 for prurient interest. She should be writing movie reviews for WNBC radio or some other obvious recipient of movie payola. Kathleen Turner is a successful architect by day and a whore by night. An insurance investigator spends his time fucking her. Anthony Perkins plays a fucked-up priest. End of story. It's WEAK, but it has some funny lines now and again. Goes to prove that Ken Russell used to be cool, but now sucks.

• Crimewave (1985) Sam Raimi's first big-budget film. I think the Coen brothers financed it, or something. The script was hacked to death in mid-stream, due to budget problems. A new beginning and ending had to be shot just to have the story make sense. But there are some genius scenes in it. BONUS: Brion James plays one of the exterminators.

• Dark Star (1974) John Carpenter's first real movie. Funny and dark and sci-fi and weird and get a six-pack.

• Dazed and Confused (?) Richard Linklater's next movie after Slacker... I think. Or maybe it was that one with Ethan Hawke... Aw, fuck it: who cares? This is the one where it's a bunch of high schoolers in Texas in 198x. Cha-ching.

• Death Race 2000 (1975) Sly Stallone and David Carradine. It's infamous, and it's by Paul Bartel, the guy who did Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills.

• Desperate Hours (1990) What the hell happened to Michael Cimino? He directed this crappy remake, which gets more and more fucked as Cimino goes tactical!

• Dogs in Space (1986) Michael Hutchence of INXS stars in this sucky Australian version of Suburbia.

• Easy Money (1983) This is Rodney Dangerfield's best movie, and I liked Back to School. "Open 23 Hours"

• Falling Down (1993) Inside each of us is an inner child. Also inside each of us is D-FENS, Michael Douglas's character. This is a great beer movie, but only a great one. It could have been one of the best, except the ending is SAD and WRONG.

• Forbidden Zone (1980) Written and directed by Richard Elfman, brother of Danny Elfman. Surreal in a kitchy way. Tattoo from Fantasy Island plays the king of the fifth dimension, or something like that. Laverne's dad from Laverne & Shirley plays a 10 year-old boy. (You read that right.) It kicks ass as a beer movie.

• Freaked (1993) If this movie is available at your local video store, RENT IT TONIGHT. It's utterly brilliant.

• The Hellstrom Chronicle (1971) A pseudo-documentary about how the insects are taking over the world. The actor portraying Dr. Hellstrom speaks of the impending catastrophe with such intensity that it almost makes you stop laughing and worry about ants eating you.

• Hollywood Shuffle (1987) Robert Townsend is a nice guy, and this is his funniest movie. But it's still just a beer movie. If I had seen Meteor Man all the way through, I might be inclined to add it to this list as well.

• House Party (1990) It's a fuckin' shame that Robin Harris died like that. His appearance in this movie only hints at his greatness. Anyway, the movie is funny as hell.

• I'm Gonna Git You Sucka (1988) In Living Color on film. Period.

• The In-Laws (1979) Peter Falk and Alan Arkin go to South America to further US interests there. But it's funny.

• Kelly's Heroes (1970) Clint Eastwood, Donald Sutherland, Don Rickles, and a cast of thousands boogie down in the European theater of WWII.

• KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (1978) KISS goes to a amusement park, where they plan to play a concert. But a Phantom-of-the-Opera-like villain (hidden away in a subterranean workshop) decides to fuck with KISS, I can't remember why. He creates some KISS robots which are exact duplicates of the foursome, except that they're completely humorless. It turns out that he's fucked with the wrong rock'n'roll band, because these guys actually possess magical powers and shoot cartoony special effects from their fingertips, etc. But I'm not making this up. It was made for TV. In reality, the amusement park was Magic Mountain (a Six Flags operation in Valencia, California). It's in the Beer Movie Hall of Fame. I'd watch it again in a SECOND.

• Lean on Me (1989) Morgan Freeman plays infamous LA public school ex-principal Joe Clark. Don't watch this movie if you're a crack smoker. Joe HATES crack, and you'll end up getting a big lecture. There's just one question you have to ask yourself: Who is the real H.N.I.C.?

• Leningrad Cowboys Go America (1989) It's a Rockumentary about a band from the USSR. They've got hair, pointy shoes, an unhappy accordion player, and malevolent management.

• Logan's Run (1976) "It's my job to FREEZE you!"

• Mac and Me (1988) McDonald's paid for this dead ripoff of "E.T. the Extraterrestrial". In return, they got copious product placement. Ronald McDonald appears in the credits as "himself", fercrissakes! (Coca-Cola and Sears got a little action as well.)

  We open on the planet Mars. A nuclear family of goofy-looking aliens walk around, poke straws under some rocks, and suck water out of the ground. A NASA probe lands nearby. The aliens stumble upon the probe, which sucks in the family by using a vacuum cleaner attachment. Then the probe blasts off and returns to earth.

  Back at JPL(?), while technicians dismantle the probe, the aliens pop out and escape from the facility. In the confusion, the younger child alien splits to the surrounding suburb, while the rest of the family heads for the Mojave.

  The young alien hides in the home of the Ebersoles, a new arrival to the hilly bedroom community. Our protagonist, Mike Ebersole, is a 12 year old paraplegic in a wheelchair, apparently paralyzed from the waist down.

  About the wheelchair. In several scenes, you can see Mike's legs cross and uncross in the chair. In a particularly dramatic moment, Mike rolls down the steep hillside and falls over the cliff, into the creek below. Even in the long shot, you can see him kicking his legs while treading water! (By the way, if you had a child in a wheelchair, would you buy a house on a steep hill?)

  Mike soon discovers the alien in his house, and they become friends. Mike names the alien "MAC" for "Mysterious Alien Creature". Yeah, right.

  Hijinks ensue. Much consumption of McDonald's and Coca-Cola food products. Much bargain-basement special effects. Be sure to step frame-by-frame through the scene where the girl rides the vacuum cleaner.

  Anyway, Mike's older brother has an incipient crush on the girl next door, who works at... McDonald's! She spends a good deal of time cavorting in her McDonald's uniform, even away from work.

  At one point, the kids take MAC to McDonald's. I don't remember why. In the dining area, some customers stop eating and break into spontaneous dance! It's truly mind-boggling.

  It's not a movie -- it's a 95 minute commercial.

• The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976) David Bowie plays an extraterrestrial who's come to Earth to bring water back to his arid planet. He marries an earthling and demonstrates that men on Bowie's planet ejaculate through their sweat glands. To me, the ending is just perfect.

• The Men's Club (1986) This movie is truly fubar. A bunch of guys reaching middle age get together for some debauchery. It doesn't make any sense, but the final scene in the brothel is so hilariously over the top that your brain will probably bubble away.

• Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1974)

• Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979)

• The Osterman Weekend (1983)

• Pinnochio in Outer Space (?) "I'm the queen of the Moon!"

• The Punisher (1989) Dolph Lundgren IS the Punisher!

• Re-Animator (1985) Stuart Gordon's version of a Lovecraft story. This guy makes a serum that re- animates dead animals. Note that this is the same guy who made Robotjox. [Sequel alert: Bride of the Re-Animator.]

• Repo Man (1984) Emilio Estevez becomes a car repossessor against his will. All of the repo men are fucked, and so is Emilio. Plus, there's a Chevy Malibu with a trunkload of decomposing space alien corpses.

• The River's Edge (1986) OK, nobody ever seems to mention this, but the character at the eye of this shlocky hurricane is a dead steal from the protagonist of Camus's The Stranger. So it's TRYING to be deep, but when you cast Crispin Glover and Dennis Hopper in bit roles, they'll steal the movie every goddamn time.

• Road House (1989)

• Robotjox (?) Every play BattleTech or MechWarrior? The makers of this movie obviously have. This movie was SO fun in the theaters, partly because you could see the strings holding up the puppets. Unfortunately, the strings are too small to show up on videotape. But the chainsaw makes the movie for me. [Sequel alert: Robot Wars was released in 1993.]

• Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills (1989) The movie that killed whatshername.

• Shaft (1971) John Shaft is too hip for his movies.

• Shakes the Clown (1991) Bobcat Goldthwait plays a birthday party clown with a serious drinking habit. That sort of sums it up.

• Sixteen Candles (1984)

• The Skateboard Kid (?) Actually, I have yet to see this one. But a trusted confidant of mine says it's DEFINITELY a prime beer movie. I have seen ads for it, and whenever that fucking skateboard start talking with Dom Deluise's voice, I just about shit my pants! [Sequel alert: The Skateboard Kid 2 was released in 1994, although no Dom this time.]

• Spaced Invaders (1989) Forget about that alien with the Jack Nicholson accent -- that's a sweat act. The real laughs come from the Mark Mothersbaugh-looking motherfucker who builds the giant Transformer robot.

• Straight to Hell (1986) Did you like Repo Man? Same writer & director. Plus a SHITLOAD of cameos. The Pogues, Zander Schloss, Jim Jarmusch, Dennis Hopper, Grace Jones, Elvis Costello, and I don't remember who else. Funny and fucked up.

• Super Mario Bros. (1993) Dennis Hopper, Bob Hoskins, John "Mambo Mouth" Leguizamo, and Mojo Nixon. Maybe you didn't read that properly... DENNIS HOPPER and MOJO NIXON in the same movie!

• Supervixens (1975) Russ Meyer.

• Tango & Cash (1989) Kurt Russell, Sly Stallone, and Jack Palance.

• Tapeheads (1988) The last time I was in L.A., some friends of mine pointed out the real Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles restaurant. I almost didn't believe it.

• They Live (1988) "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. "Put on the glasses!"

• Tommy (1975) Ken Russell's cinematic version of the opera written by Pete Townsend. I love it when the TV starts spitting baked beans & chocolate.

• Top Secret! (1984)

• Tron (1982) You know... TRON! "Video warriors -- look at the I/O tower!"

• Used Cars (1980) Kurt Russell is the sleaziest car dealer in town. And he RULES! I just wish it was Snake Pliskin selling cars... Lenny & Squiggy cameo. "I had to turn the fire hose on 'em!"

• Volunteers (?) Tom Hanks. John Candy's "Tom Tuttle from Tacoma, Washington" is the reason to see this flick. A bunch of Peace Corps volunteers end up trying to construct a bridge in a village in Southeast Asia.

• Warlock (1988) Julian Sands is the Warlock. It's funky and fun. Every once in a while you almost start taking it seriously, but the ending destroys all credibility. [Sequel alert: Warlock 2 is making the cable TV rounds.] "Amish?" "Aye, Mennonite."

• Watchers (1988) Shit, I forget why I think this is a beer movie now.

• Wild Orchid (1990) Starring Mickey Rourke and his moist real-life girlfriend. Check it out: the formula at work in this movie is Drums + Water = SEX SEX SEX!

every James Bond film

The Beer Movie Hall of Fame

• Freaked
• KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park
• Mac and Me The granddaddy of the "Beer Movie" genre for me and my friends. It really requires a 12-pack to fully understand this film.

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