yeah, get this: solid proof that God either doesn't exist, or is a swindler.

I prayed so I get a job, never got a decent job though.

Then I'm desperate so I say: God, please, if you give me a decent job, I never touch a woman again.

Then I go back home and find a super hyper mega job offer in my mailbox. You may say, well if you're a woman your mom will think you're ever safe with me. Big mistake! Actually if the letter got in my post right at the time I was closing the deal with god, it had to leave yesterday at least. So this letter was sent before I concluded a deal with God, and I'm gonnawannadonna touch a woman ever again because of that? No WaY The gReAt GoD sWiNdlE ain't gonna get me!!! Is there a pretty vacant around?

Thank you for letting this profound and important topic go its own way if you're gonna post any counter-proof, please refrain, truthe needethst notte to be disturbedth. Word of the lord of unrest.

quote:Originally posted by UrbnTbone:

So this letter was sent before I concluded a deal with God, and I'm gonnawannadonna touch a woman ever again because of that? No WaY The gReAt GoD sWiNdlE ain't gonna get me!!! Is there a pretty vacant around?

Help!!!

Yes, God listen, cry that again?

I think urbn is either drunk or suicidal. Either way its a win win situtian for everyone else.

quote:Originally posted by bigtmoney:

I think urbn is either drunk or suicidal. Either way its a win win situtian for everyone else. Fuck yourself. Win win my ass. I was just being funny. So we don't share the same nonsense of humour you lose losesituation: you didn't have fun yet you wasted time trying to aggravate me. You're either suicidal yourself. Or in some other state that makes you a nasty brat. Be polite with people who fuck you...

I think I have brought the wrath of the almighty urbntbone down on my self. I must repent

Ohh you too break it up dont make me slap you both around with my dick.

It's either you repent and send me a certificate of UTB(TM) repentance seminar, or an international money order for $104 and I grant you total absolution upon reception.

BTW bigtmonk, hey, I'm not THE allmighty, we are a few trade associates. Wanna join? Claim your free franchising brochure today, become a guru and get served first. Fifo (first in first out) basis.

yes i want to join your fucked up cult urbn. Its been my dream for quite sometime.

[This message has been edited by bigtmoney (edited 06-10-2003).]

officer: "fucked up are thy fidels, Ol'mighty, wise are thy priests who maketh money, OGod of the rich and poor."

choir: blessed the maker of Ol'money, the rich father the gambler son and the holey spirit of cult business.

assistance: Amen amen amen (Amen if this is really god, amen if this is a scam, amen because in any case my money will profit the great Dollar karma and I will derive benefit some day as well.)

Write your checks to UTB (unitarion trade business). Please be aware and don't cross the checks.

Basic enlightenment = £208

Further level for cosmic balance = $336

Integral enlightenment = $10,400

No refunds. Any side effect will be the sucker's fault, not the cult. We are not responsible for suicide, psychiatric trouble, chronic depression or any problem linked to our cult being embraced by unstable followers.

Actually we encourage unstable followers to join and pay for all the initiations and upgrades, in advance with a 5% rebate but again, no refund.

If the follower melts a fuse before the taking effect of all his/her initiations, they will have the choice between forsaking their yet non-effective upgrades, or having them taking effect by default. This is an exclusive feature of our cult, you need no print material, physical presence or any outer sign of the initiation.

Initiation takes place automatically as soon as your payment is received, cashed and laundered. So you will benefit of a 10% discount for cash, and experience has shown the strongest way for cult power to reach your most inner soul, is by paying cash.

It is logical BTW, since cash is the paying pattern that causes the most evident pleasure in the person of our great guru, thus providing the follower with the deepest karmic response and quality of initiation.

We don't persecute cult apostates, provided they pay £10,000 for profane world rights. We understand that even the profane world rests on our guru's shoulders, so it is well understood that profane secular life has to be bought back before you leave us.

You will receive a certificate if paid by cheque or CC.

If paid cash, 5% discount but no receipt.

For our independant MLM distributor venture, contact your agent:

uTb aSSoCiaTes of Higher and LowER Languedoc-Roussillon reunited, Carcassonne, France. This is for real.

Do your poor soul a favor:

pick the right guru! Now on special!

quote:Originally posted by UrbnTbone:

Actually if the letter got in my post right at the time I was closing the deal with god, it had to leave yesterday at least. So this letter was sent before I concluded a deal with God...

I'm not a believer, but there are two big-ass problems with your logic.

1) It could have just been God answering your original prayer.

2) According to some theories of quantum physics, the way you perceive the present affects the past*. Therefore, it's still entirely possible that if you hadn't prayed and seen the letter in the mailbox, it never would have been sent in the first place.

*Some scientists take this further, and theorize that matter might not exist at all if it wasn't for our, or someone else's, ability to perceive it.

sweet urbn,

where do i send my check. and o yeah, how many american dollars does it take to equal a pound?

Damn you french are a bunch of fags

quote:Originally posted by bigtmoney:

sweet urbn,

where do i send my check. and o yeah, how many american dollars does it take to equal a pound?

Damn you french are a bunch of fags

Don't spit in the soup you're eating from. We are the best cult designers, we even provided you gayproud nation with the statue of the liberty. Ever heard of Mr delafagette?

quote:Originally posted by UrbnTbone:

Don't spit in the soup you're eating from. We are the best cult designers, we even provided you gayproud nation with the statue of the liberty. Ever heard of Mr delafagette?

Yes, you are the best cult nation, ill give you that. Oh and the statue of liberty was a gift for helping your sorry, sorry ass nation out because the damn french cant fight worth shit. And no, I've never heard of Mr delafagette.

Lafayette, fuck!

Is it just me or are the french becoming even more stupid and cowardly?

Aah yes. The "Genie of the Lamp" deity.

I've always thought it rather odd how god can take the time out to get the sliver out of a guy's ass or get you a job, but can't seem to save those thousands of kids that die every single day of hunger, reguardless of how hard they wish to supernatural entities for it.

When you wish for things, and something comes along that you wished for, confirmation bias is going to chalk it up to whatever you were wishing to. Whether it be your kitchen table, god, or Cthulhu.

If you hadn't wished for the job, the offer would have been in your mailbox just the same. Besides, omnicient deities already know what you're going to wish for an eternity beforehand, and have already decided whether they will grant you the wish or not an eternity beforehand. So thinking you can change the mind of an omnicient deity is rather naive.

Mota boy: you're on the way to enlightenment. Be careful not to disappear in the big light.

bigtmonies: research "second degree humour" on lycos. But you can keep on wrestling, it's fucking funny.

Darkmonetta: Hey I'm surprised. For once you didn't try to rationalize too much. Yoiu can actually "feed the cabbage and the goat". Keep it on.

I'm sure its God's fault you didn't get a diploma as well. Look, atheio-nazi, i don't believe in religion either. Why? Becuase suddenly people such as yourself somehow get the idea that they are invincible. God will save you all. We can bomb Iraq, because God's on our side. I can molest little kids because my profession is helping God, so he'll understand.

Unless of course you were joking, in which case i'm sorry I became anal. But if you're not, well, God Bless Your Berated Soul.

She was joking. By proclaiming she wasn't going to adopt a policy of confirmation bias and attribute the job offer to [insert supernatural wish-granting genie here], it was actually what she was doing the entire time.

[This message has been edited by Dark_Magneto (edited 06-13-2003).]

quote:Originally posted by Dark_Magneto:

She was joking.

I got lost somewhere. If it's me, calling me 'she' makes me doubt of my karmic accuracy. Would there be a dychotomy between body & soul?

Or is it you, DM?

In such case we at the cult have a special feature called "KarmicGenderfixTM" for only £666(£555 for our initiations subscribers, $234 for "total enlightenmentTM" subscribers). You're talking about a specially designed electromagnetic sensor that detects your aura as M or F type.

If you're a M but your aura is F, we suggest surgery, BTW we recommend a selected list of surgeons, who add only 15% on top of their actual fees to accomodate our philantropic cashflow, tax receipt on demand if you pay 20% more instead of the usual 15% for cash payers. These specially-appointed professionals do a job which is specially blessed by our board of gurus.