I'm an atheist who goes to a Catholic School and although I hate to say it I am popular and I don't mean that in a snobby way I mean people enjoy being with me and they normally make sure that whatever they do is ok with me(that actually kind of scares me). WEll, since I am in the 8th grade I am supposed to be confirmed and I odn't know if I should be or not.By being confirmed I am going against everything I have ever said about the Catholic Church and it makes me look very superficial and fickle.And by not being confirmed(God I'm gonna sound like such a superficial freak and i hate it)I'm setting myself apart from my classmates and I'm afraid that I will lose their respect and worst of all I'm afraid I will lose their friendship[ and I know taht if they were my true friends they wouldn't care but that is just not a chance I am really willing to take and the one thing I am most afraid of is being alone...that is a thought that has always haunted ME. And just to let you know I don't change my personality so taht people will like me I'm just an upbeat person that a lot of people enjoy being with and some who don't like em because they think that I am to in their face but that's ok.Also, it's not tat I really care what people think about me it's jsut I like being liked and when peopel don't want to talk to me because my religious faith or my lack of religious faith it seems kind of stupid and the thought of people hating me really scares me and makes me sad.



Flame at will

You have a very distorted outlook on your system of values/beliefs and that of others.

You need to stop & take a look at everthing from an outside perspective. That is the only way to even attempt to understand why people interact with you the way they do. And the best way to unerstand yourself.

At your age I'd be more worried about what your parents are going to say. And if they're hardline enough to make you go to Catholic School, then you'll probably be anywhere from disowned to grounded. As for what people think of you.... fuck 'em. Any jackass dogmatic enough to stop being friends with you just because you have different beliefs isn't worth having as a friend. And there are other considerations. Is confirmation a requirement of graduation? What would your parents say? I think those are the most important questions. Reply with that, and I'll give advice from there.

My parents would probably be very disappointed and so would my grandfather because I just told him he could be my sponser

It is not required of me to be confirmed but I have to do all of the same activities whether I'm confirmed or not.

I am confirmed, and i would not suggest being confirmed because it would make you a hypocrite. and if your parents bitch well tough cuz better to be unconfirmed than be a hypocrite. If your "friends" leave you because you aren't confirmed fuck them they suck. but think of the future, how do you know you might believe in God later? whatever, I wouldn't do it.

Do what you gotta do. If you really believe there is no God, then it doesn't mean anything. But if you really believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with Christianity, then don't do it. Try to explain to your parents why you don't want to, but use mature arguements. And don't try to explain why you think there is no God unless one of them forces the issue.

It's not that I have something against Christianity I mean if you want to believe in God by all means do so especially if it gives you something to believe and it makes you happy. It's just that since I go to a Catholic school I get all of that bullshit forced upon me and so it's the Catholic religion taht I am so much against because I think just about everything in there religion is bullshit.Andsince I've told my grandfather he can be my sponser and I'm not sure how I can break it to him that I'm not going to be confirmed because he's one of those like hard core catholics who goes to church every sunday whether he's sick or not goes on wednesday and all that other stuff so I guess I'm kind of stuck because I don't really want to break my grandfather's heart because my mom says that he has been looking forward to this forever and the fact that my older brother didn't choose him as his sponser hurt him and now that he's mine it made him so happy.So yeah I guess there isn't much else I can do.

[This message has been edited by zEsTyTuRtLe (edited 02-01-2004).]

While standing up for your principles is generally a good thing, it would probably be better to just do it and not kick up a fuss. No need to spoil your relationship with your family and friends over something like this.

I agree with craftian. Standing up for what you believe is noble, but going through with a pointless ceremony for the sake of another is more so.

hey if religion does'nt mean that much to you i'd say go for it. just remember once you get confirmed there's no way out, unless you switch religions, but i dunno i think your still confirmed. i dunno it's all b.s anyway.

If your friends are so concerned about your religion that they'd dump you if you disagreed with them, their not your friends and you should probably avoid them. I mean, really, if they're like that, cross the street to avoid them. People like that only cause problems.

My take on it, is if it doesn't mean anything to you, decide whether or not it will make your mother cry if you don't do it. If it'll make your mother cry, you might as well do it.

It's not like you'll become Catholic because you do it and if anyone calls you a hypocrit tell them you didn't want to make your mother cry.

Parents make good excuses.

Cheers,

Lost

Thanks guys I think this helped me a lot considering that whether I do get confirmed or not I have to go through all of the same activities now all I'm gonna have to do is find a way to tell my brother. He hates christianity so I think it will be rather difficult.I always know you guys will steer me in the wrong direction but since I'm not driving I don't really care I'm just a long for the ride. :P Just Kidding

[This message has been edited by zEsTyTuRtLe (edited 02-03-2004).]

Don't get confirmed. If they're really your friends they won't care if you're confirmed or not.

Confirmation, another pointless ritual that shows the gullability of people.

let me ask you this what is ritual without beleaf ? reminds me of a show i watched were a family of jewish people who were very strong got baptised into the catholic church to escape to yugoslavia ..

what is such a ritual of faith with out faith itself ?? you can be baptised all you want and confirmed a member of the church and such but it has no point if you never beleaved in it in the first place..

-warweed12

quote:Originally posted by Craftian:

While standing up for your principles is generally a good thing, it would probably be better to just do it and not kick up a fuss. No need to spoil your relationship with your family and friends over something like this.

Word. Just get the thing over with.

Calmly... coolly... entirely without incident.

My parents said you have to be comfirmed you are a catholic. I stop believing in christianity after I was fed up with their bullshit. Soon after my parents divorced, I got my own place. Trained in martial arts and wrote a lot of material, and starved, then I began hallucinating and instead of wishing it to go away, I embraced it. As I was hallucinating I began having a conversation with myself, I began asking questions and found I really had all the answers. It was like if I were a 3 year old asking questions, yet evreything was answered. From then on I decided that one's salvation rests upon him or herself. You..each one of you, has the power to change the world, the only difference between you and me is that this is my experience of life. There is no such thing as time, it is mearly a constant change of now that gives the illusion of time.

quote:Originally posted by Haddock:

Don't get confirmed. If they're really your friends they won't care if you're confirmed or not.

I would normally agree, but 8th graders can be rather shallow at times. They may not be able to see past it.

love me.

to the first post:

I went throught the same ordeal u did. was an atheist in a little Catholic school. So it came time to be confirmed. Well I didn't want to be, but I did anyways knowing that I could always just get excommunicated.

I suggest u follow your brain. What do u believe. I suggest in not being confirmed.

i went through the same thing, confirmation because i almost felt i was forced to, but i wasnt allowed to get confirmed till i was in 10th grade.....last year. Really, i dont think its worth it. I too am an athiest in a catholic's body and it sucks. I made the mistake of getting confirmed (i know i know, complete disrespect to the catholic faith and to the sacrament...but i'm not the first, but worst of all...to myself) just because my dad was the teacher of the confirmation class, so really, i didnt have much of a choice, live in animosity with my father or go against my belifes, i chose the wrong path, if i were u i wouldnt do it, your belifes r much more important than your friends and family, and u can always make new friends and if they dislike u for not getting confirmed then they werent friends anyway and your family, they'll get over it, if your dad is anything like mine (a huge worshiper who is easily offended by anti-christ remarks), then dont expect a healed relationship until u get confirmed or a few years later. But really, if u dont wanna do it dont, if its not what u belive then dont, dont make my mistake. And to possibly soften the blow from your parents tell them your not ready, they might ask y so think of a reason or tell them the truth. Later and good luck.