View Full Version : Jesus was a woman.
Just look at the obvious facts.
cunfoozedmunkee
2004-02-19, 01:16
dude, you have a point
when i first read the bible i thought he was gay or something. perhaps jesus was a woman, lol... im so fucking confused by religion anyways, im probably become agnostic.
cm
what obvious facts are there?
theBishop
2004-02-19, 06:31
John 20:43 (MUV)
and Jesus exposed his Vagina to the masses and said "behold, I the son of man am also the daughter of the Father, who is your king"
obvious enough?
SweetTea
2004-02-19, 06:37
When then the obvious question is, is she hot?
theBishop
2004-02-19, 06:49
of course shes hot, she's the savior of humanity!
The_Rabbi
2004-02-19, 07:39
So Mary Magdalene was a lesbo?
ALso, a female Rabbi in the time of the Pharisee? Pshaw.
Jesus wasn't just any woman. Jesus was a hairy woman.
Wasn't Jesus supposed to be ugly? That'd make her a witch...
BURN HER!
Meh. If Jesus was a woman, I'd put my balls on her chin.
How many women do u know who can lift up 200kg tables and throw them across the market? bloody hooligan!
Trippy_McGee
2004-02-21, 16:38
How many skinny male pacifist jews do you know who could do the same?
sp0rkius
2004-02-21, 17:22
quote:Originally posted by Tyrant:
Wasn't Jesus supposed to be ugly? That'd make her a witch...
BURN HER!
Make a bridge out of her!
Hexadecimal
2004-02-21, 17:51
Trippy, older portraits of Jesus portray him as a rather rugged and tough looking black man...one who could easily chuck around some tables.
DickHead
2004-02-22, 07:38
Jesus is a heshe
The_Rabbi
2004-02-22, 08:16
quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:
Trippy, older portraits of Jesus portray him as a rather rugged and tough looking black man...one who could easily chuck around some tables.
I'd call him a tan middle-easterner.
No, it was God who was the woman, I mean come on, if God had of been a man he would have got the job right and not totally fucked up.
zodiac theory
2004-02-22, 16:46
perhaps he was alittle of both
TEsteriZer
2004-02-22, 16:55
quote:Originally posted by sp0rkius:
Make a bridge out of her!
Heh heh. Holy Grail...
StoneMan
2004-02-22, 17:11
Jesus wasn't just written about in the Bible. There are many other historical accounts of his life. Check your Roman history, or maybe read Josephus' history.
And no he wasn't a woman. He also wasn't black, but he was a lot closer to being black than being a woman. He was descended from Shem, though, just like black people.
quote:Originally posted by DgenR8:
No, it was God who was the woman, I mean come on, if God had of been a man he would have got the job right and not totally fucked up.
You're an idiot. You should focus on that for now.
Heiko Palm
2004-02-24, 00:19
I live down the street from a Jesus......or is it Hey-suus...dunno.
quote:Originally posted by Snoopy:
You're an idiot. You should focus on that for now.
Only time will tell if that is true, whereas you prove daily that you are nothing more than a joke.
666fighter
2004-02-25, 15:04
Who cares, all religion is a load of doggy do anyway. How to control people - make them believe in a non existant mythical superior being, that conveniently tells you what you can and cant do.
It is the ultimate sales pitch, selling future rewards, with no guarantee, or proof of existance, and with no comebacks - by the time you work out it was all a croc, you are dead!
Me, Ill take the blue one...
quote:Originally posted by Snoopy:
Just look at the obvious facts.
cringeshroomgod
2004-02-25, 15:22
quote:Originally posted by theBishop:
John 20:43 (MUV)
and Jesus exposed his Vagina to the masses and said "behold, I the son of man am also the daughter of the Father, who is your king"
obvious enough?
ur a dumb ass that enuff 4 ya where the hell it say that in the bible???????