We're called the Noahides.

An offshoot of Judaism, but for non-Jews. It's quite simple.

Basically, I've taken the 7 Noahide Laws, and altered them to fit our society and the common good.

To be righteous and good in the eyes of OUR God, one must simply follow the 7 Noahide Commandments:

1.)Not to deny God

2.)Not to make promises to God you cannot keep

3.)Not to murder NOTE ON 3: Noahides are a firm believer in an eye for an eye and self-defense. If someone tries to kill you or your loved ones, it is entirely justified and righetous to kill them before they can do so.

4.)Not to engage in incest, beastiality, or adultery(adultery being sexual relation between a married person and an unmarried person, not between two unmarried people). NOTE ON 4: Seeing as how homosexuality is considered to be something that gays cannot control, Noahides don't feel God would condemn them for it.

5.)Not to steal.

6.)Not to eat a limb torn from a living animal(for your own safety)

7.)To set up or support courts to protect the people from oppressive governments, and to ensure consequences for those who break rules 3, 4, and 5. Also, to never attempt to deny one's right to self-defense through these courts.

I think these are some well-rounded and sensible rules for a religion. 'Course, if you don't like them, Noahides don't care. You don't have to follow them, just remember our third rule and the consequences if you attempt to hurt us.

Anything else is fair game and not to be considered the domain of the religion. I rather prefer this religion, having realized that I will never have the willpower to follow the mitzvot.

If anyone's interested, I will be setting this religion up officially soon. There will be lots of kick-ass stuff.

Im a bit confused about #6. Who rips a limb off a living animal and eats it? Or is this a way of saying noahides would have to be vegetarian?

quote:Originally posted by SEN D-F:

Im a bit confused about #6. Who rips a limb off a living animal and eats it? Or is this a way of saying noahides would have to be vegetarian?

No, no, not at all.

Matter of fact, it's preferable in the Noahide's eyes to eat meat. It gets you in touch with your primal instincts, something none of us can deny. It's good to remember that a living creature gave it's life for your dinner.

The rule simply means that you need to cook your meat, since raw meat is bad for your system. Also, you have to make sure the animal you're eating is dead before you start carving off t-bones.

It'd be kind of messed up to eat something while it's still alive, don't you think?

i am all for the redefinition of faith to work in modern society and i tip my hat to you rabbi. do you see yourself as the one that layed down these rules, which by the way i don't disagree with, the leader or guardian of noahide?

would you accept followers to your congregation with ideas to expand noahidism or are you saying from the start... this is it and you don't have to be a part if you don't like the rules?

have you allowed for music and celebrations and days of rest. i think days that end in 'y' shoulkd be days of rest...

That's fucking reasonable!

quote:Originally posted by onion jack 67:

would you accept followers to your congregation with ideas to expand noahidism or are you saying from the start... this is it and you don't have to be a part if you don't like the rules?

I've found, through my experience with Judaism, that if you keep adding to a religion, it's just going to muddle everything up.

Jews are afraid to answer the goddamned phone on the shabbat.

I think independent thought should be important to the Noahides, but it's all relative. The only thing Noahides should stick to is the basic rules, and they're free to hypothesize about everything else. How are we to know the truth if we don't consider all possibilities?

quote:have you allowed for music and celebrations and days of rest. i think days that end in 'y' shoulkd be days of rest...

Nah, that's the kind of cheesy thing that somebody who started a religion as a joke would do.

There’s something I don’t understand. If you don’t have to follow the commandments, then why have them at all? Wouldn’t the strict definition of a religious foundation be adherence to a system of rules? By the way, why are you called Noahides?

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

We're called the Noahides.

An offshoot of Judaism, but for non-Jews. It's quite simple.

Basically, I've taken the 7 Noahide Laws, and altered them to fit our society and the common good.

To be righteous and good in the eyes of OUR God, one must simply follow the 7 Noahide Commandments:

1.)Not to deny God

2.)Not to make promises to God you cannot keep

3.)Not to murder NOTE ON 3: Noahides are a firm believer in an eye for an eye and self-defense. If someone tries to kill you or your loved ones, it is entirely justified and righetous to kill them before they can do so.

4.)Not to engage in incest, beastiality, or adultery(adultery being sexual relation between a married person and an unmarried person, not between two unmarried people). NOTE ON 4: Seeing as how homosexuality is considered to be something that gays cannot control, Noahides don't feel God would condemn them for it.

5.)Not to steal.

6.)Not to eat a limb torn from a living animal(for your own safety)

7.)To set up or support courts to protect the people from oppressive governments, and to ensure consequences for those who break rules 3, 4, and 5. Also, to never attempt to deny one's right to self-defense through these courts.

I think these are some well-rounded and sensible rules for a religion. 'Course, if you don't like them, Noahides don't care. You don't have to follow them, just remember our third rule and the consequences if you attempt to hurt us.

Anything else is fair game and not to be considered the domain of the religion. I rather prefer this religion, having realized that I will never have the willpower to follow the mitzvot.

If anyone's interested, I will be setting this religion up officially soon. There will be lots of kick-ass stuff.



Any religion without the 4 Noble truths is a bullshit religion.

Any religion claiming existence or worshipping of God wthout proof is bullshit

The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. The religion which based on experience, which refuses dogmatic. If there's any religion that would cope the scientific needs it will be Buddhism."

-Albert Einstein

I propose you listen to one of your fellow Jews.

quote:Originally posted by Charles Thunder:

If you don’t have to follow the commandments, then why have them at all?

Why do anything?

If you're not a Noahide, you don't need to follow them. Just don't claim to be a Noahide.

quote: By the way, why are you called Noahides?

Because I based my system off of the 7 Noahide Laws from Judaism.

quote:Originally posted by homosuperior:



Any religion claiming existence or worshipping of God wthout proof is bullshit

Then wouldn't all religions be bullshit to you?

quote:The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. The religion which based on experience, which refuses dogmatic. If there's any religion that would cope the scientific needs it will be Buddhism."

-Albert Einstein

I propose you listen to one of your fellow Jews.

Einstein was only good at one thing, and philosophy wasn't it.

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

5.)Not to steal.



Does that include copyright infringement?

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

Does that include copyright infringement?

If someone is selling something he owns for money, it's not right to steal it.

Why not exist to be the highest conceptualization of self, possible now?

Hehehe, The Rabbi rules. Rabbi, if you weren't born Jewish and haven't converted then there is no reason for you to keep the mitzvot, all you have to keep are the Noahide laws. And can you call it an offshoot of Judaism if it is the Jewish view on how non-Jews should behave?

And by the way, to whoever was asking about the 6th law, it is to show that you have self control and are not so desperate as to eat part of an animal before you have fully killed it. You must also show compassion in this way.

And those support courts have to be courts of law Rabbi, so I suggest you start writing up your laws http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)

quote:Originally posted by Aphelion Corona:

Hehehe, The Rabbi rules. Rabbi, if you weren't born Jewish and haven't converted then there is no reason for you to keep the mitzvot, all you have to keep are the Noahide laws.

That's my point.

I was on the path to conversion, but I realized that I haven't the willpower to keep the mitzvot. I could never do it.

quote: And can you call it an offshoot of Judaism if it is the Jewish view on how non-Jews should behave?

Technically no, but since my Noahide's laws aren't a strict transfer of the Jewish Noahide laws, but rather based upon them, I think it's a proper description.

So you can eat pork?

quote:Originally posted by Faithless:

So you can eat pork?

Yeah, sure.

It's bad for you, though, so I wouldn't. I'd stick to beef, tuna, chicken, etc.

Here's my religeon:

Do whatever the fuck you want, but expect consequences that may be to your disliking.

When you feel like returning to God there will be adequate information about how to do this, but until then just go crazy, play, learn, then play better.

quote:Originally posted by ---Beany---:

Do whatever the fuck you want, but expect consequences that may be to your disliking.



Bah, that's the same as my religion, except I'm trying to keep my followers safe.

It's a good idea not to murder, for the karmic and judicial payback is a bitch. It's a good idea not to steal, because if the person you stole from finds out it's you, you might end up 6 feet under. It's a good idea not to eat raw meat, because it fucks up your shit.

And it's a good idea to protect people's right to self-defense, for it's when this is taken away, that true tyranny reigns.

Oh yeah, and our symbol is Aleph, the hebrew letter representing the bull, strength, and leader. It's intended to represent our philosophy of peace, but unrelenting retaliation against those who don't wish to to be peaceful to us.

<A HREF="http://www.ely.anglican.org/parishes/camgsm/Majestas/1999/February/Aleph.jpeg">http://www.ely.anglican.org/parishes/camgsm/Majestas/1999/February/Aleph.jpeg" width="90" height="90 (http://www.ely.anglican.org/parishes/camgsm/Majestas/1999/February/Aleph.jpeg" width="90" height="90)</A>

Whoever said that religion is supossed to be easy. Salvation is a thing you work on for a lifetime, you just don't "do" religion because it is "easy"

Rabbi, how does your religion view humans? Are we flawed at birth and in need of saving? Are we on a cycle towards enlightenment? Are we aliens from Xanigha?

You have all these very reasonable rules, but I think religion also needs a basic philosophy concerning humans as well.

Is your God still Yahweh?

Silly rabbit, life doesn't die, it only looks that way.

I mean seriously, our grandiose existance is nothing but a fake fleck of time in the life of this universe, do you honestly believe that this is the only chance we get to see ourselves as magnificent? No wonder there's so many scared people.

quote:Originally posted by Joeb:

Rabbi, how does your religion view humans?

Here's my opinion: humans are humans. We don't know our purpose, but we can find out through living life.

quote: Are we flawed at birth and in need of saving? Are we on a cycle towards enlightenment? Are we aliens from Xanigha?

You have all these very reasonable rules, but I think religion also needs a basic philosophy concerning humans as well.



Very good point.

Noahides don't believe in anyone needing to be 'saved,' since it's your choice whether to follow our religion or not.

I can't speak definitely as to whether we're on a spiritual journey or not. Nobody knows for sure, that's why it's up to you to ponder, and draw your own conclusions.

quote:Originally posted by SurahAhriman:

Is your God still Yahweh?

Call him whatever you want. Humanity does.

Interesting, but I find myself much more primal and sometimes guiltless as a vegan http://www.totse.com/bbs/wink.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/wink.gif)

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

[B]Then wouldn't all religions be bullshit to you

B]

Nope...buddhism is an atheist religion

what's the difference between this and the B'nei Noach movement?

quote:Originally posted by Keltoiberserker:

Interesting, but I find myself much more primal and sometimes guiltless as a vegan http://www.totse.com/bbs/wink.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/wink.gif)

I don't see how. Animals eat other animals all the time.

quote:Originally posted by homosuperior:

Nope...buddhism is an atheist religion



Buddhism..is an atheist..religion. That's possibly the most ignorant thing I've heard all day, and the people on my bus talk about fucking dogs. First off..atheist religion is an oxymoron, I'm afraid. Atheist is to not believe in a religion, therefore it cannot be a religion. It's a set of beliefs, as it seems. I happen to have a friend who is atheist, and she would be rather shocked to hear someone knocking it. Second...buddhism has it's roots in balance, and it doesn't revolve around the Christian God, no..but it does have it's own specific beliefs, and is by no means an atheist religion. Third..now, this is just my opinion, it's not really a matter of which God or Goddess can kick the other's ass..it's about what someone believes in and puts their faith in. Religion isn't always about a specific figure, it's sometimes about getting through tough times and finding comfort in the words of that religion. Since everyone's different, it makes sense to have different religions, and they should all be respected. :)

Eh... he's kinda right.

Thiest means believing in a God.

Buddhism has no God, though it requires just as much of a leap of faith as any other thiest religion does.

That's bullshit and you know it, cap'n.

good job rabbi! finnaly a religion that makes sense! yay! anyways you did a good job making a religion that i would join. the only thing that needs to be added is that god cant change anything and he can only guide us but not, himself, change stuff