My usual remedy for spiritual/religious conflicts in my brain is to ignore it for a while, and assume the normal routine. However, I'm having one of those mental tug-of-wars right now and happened to be online, so *BAM* I'll tell all of Totse about it!

Note: I use a lot of the coined Christian phrases that can be torn apart.. consider the circumstances.. it's all I know.

I was raised in a Christian home--Baptist specifically. *Saved* young, matured and suffocated in the close-minded heat of the Bible Belt. I never felt completely whole. There's supposedly a hole in your heart that is filled when you become a Christian, but I always felt like I continued to lack something.

As I naturally didn't feel fulfilled, I turned to more enjoyable, *sinful* http://www.totse.com/bbs/wink.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/wink.gif) activities. I enjoy my life. Now and then, I have these questions plague me--What do I really believe? If I had been raised with a different religious background, would I have followed it so blindly? WHAT IS RIGHT?

I don't believe that any religion is right. I don't even know if I believe in Heaven or Hell anymore. I don't think I believe anything. I know that I am one of those young, malleable minds and so I'm afraid that I'll believe anything that comes my way. I find myself thinking one thing and contradicting myself the next day.

I know that people have a spiritual need, and we as a person need to discover that need and find out what we believe... I think that is why I feel so uneasy.

Tell me I'm not alone on this?

you're not alone

i am the same, though i 'lost' my 'faith' through the acts of my sister who destroyed any trust i had or will have

it was after she did that i relised my 'faith' wasn't a faith at all, but a series of habits and mindsets that had led me to think i had something...

it wasnt, i still live in a christian home and go to church and all.

nobody really knows the truth about me, i still am the same person on the outside which makes me think that christianity really is shallow in my generation.

i am so disillusioned by it all, i think its all become cliched and fake, just another distracion, or worse, another exclusive club formed to make each other fell better

and many of the prominent churches have destroyed any credibility the church had by turning fellowship into consumerism

if my own family and many of my friends cant see past my 'outside' and relise that me going through the motions doesnt make me a christian...

maybe it really is a conspiracy.

but all i can say is old habits die hard. i still find myself starting to pray when something happens out of the ordinary.

Prayer was the first clue for me that something was wrong. I always did it very conciously, and it was always in a sort of pattern, like a script. It never felt real unless I was crying or something. But spirituality isn't about how emotional you can get.

It wasn't hard for me to stop praying.

You don't need religeon.



You are spirit and you can't avoid eventually becoming more and more enlightened to the truth just by simply existing and experiencing. There are many methods of speeding up the process but the end result is inevitable.

But what is the end result? What is this great enlightenment that I will enevitably experience?

quote:Originally posted by shareme:

But what is the end result? What is this great enlightenment that I will enevitably experience?

exactly. what is it? when will it occur?

these are the questions everyone deals with. everyone. religious or not. on a daily basis. our souls ask these questions, and each time, they are answered in some new, unpredictable form.

to have a truly open mind is to have courage of spirit. there is a more complex and meaningful reality to be experienced in the moment to moment events of every-day life than any dogmatic system of beliefs can accurately describe or categorize. existence has no parameters.

one can only remain receptive to a more fulfilling reality by nurturing the optimistic curiousity of childhood well into adulthood with integrity, honesty, and diligence... good luck kid.

quote:Originally posted by shareme:

But what is the end result? What is this great enlightenment that I will enevitably experience?

A connection with all that is.

An untarnished experience of love.

Self realisation, knowing who you really are (a facet of god).

Ultimate freedom.

Just keep an open yet analytical mind and if you keep searching for answers they'll pop up 1 by 1 in nice little exiting packages called realisations.

You didn't say if you actually believe in the teachings of the bible. Personally, I've learned to ignore most of the hipocrates who sell Christian memorabilia for a living. I've also learned to ignore a self described "saved" president who's personally responsible for close to 1000 deaths.

I'm not going to tell you what to believe, but i would encourage you to read the gospels and see if you actually believe in what Jesus was talking about. Then you can decide for yourself if Christianity is for you, or if it was just something your parents forced on you.

Good Luck,

theBishop

i have to wonder if i'd be this screwed up if it wasnt for my 'good upbringing'

its so hard to go back and try and understand things you've rebelled against, even if it was because it was the people who were wrong and not the bible.

i think i am slightly biased against god and salvation

the large churches and the prominent middle class christians screw it up for alot of people trying to find the truth

quote:Originally posted by theBishop:

You didn't say if you actually believe in the teachings of the bible.

If you believe in the Bible then you don't believe in God. (I can explain)

quote:Originally posted by bkc:

If you believe in the Bible then you don't believe in God.





He didn't say "Thge bible", he said "the teachings of the bible"

Turns out to be about the same thing as far as the consequences. You are right though.

Nobody knows what to beleive, that is until they have an experience that brings them beyond all other cross-fired arguments.

My very humble advice would be to live in a way that makes you as happy and healthy as you can be, keep your balance and to make yourself the truly best you can be; so you can recognise without doubt the truth when you see it.