If you could ask God (assuming he/she/it exists) 5 questions, what would they be?

1. wtf?

2. can i have 20 bucks?

3. wtf! why not?

4. wait, what are you doing?

5. ...

1) Why am I asking myself questions?

...

http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif)

Why are we here?

Where the fuck did you come from?

Is there an after life?

Those are really cool shoes,where did you get them?

You really got those at payless?

quote:Originally posted by Frank Castle The Punisher:

1.Why are we here?

2.Where the fuck did you come from?

3.Is there an after life?



Those were my first 3 more or less.

For the other two....

4. Can you watch anyone you want, anytime?

5. Are our lives already planned from birth to death, or do we actually do things ourselves:

For example, did God plan for me right now to type this message at this time at this location on these forums?

Are humans in contact with extraterrestrials?

Is there anything more than just life/nature?

What is outside of the universe?

What was 'existence' like before the supposed 'Big Bang'?

What religion has the highest value?

quote:Originally posted by XliMun(Frontalobe)~:

Child pr0n is ok, right?

Will pedophilia ever be accepted?

What are hamburger realy made off?

Is it treu that Jesus fucked mary in the ass

When is George Bush gonna invade Canada?

Would you adopt me so I can play son of god?

Are you gay?

1. a/s/l?

2. Is there a heaven or a hell?

3. What is the correct religion?

4. When am I going to die?

5. What is the meaning of life?

George Bush, why?

Why, George Bush?

About that US president?

What's up with these American voters?

Any chance Bush will take up BASE jumping before November? Please?

1. Are there any other gods than you?

2. What are dreams made of?

3. How long have you been around?

4. Can Sidewayz, and I have 20 bucks each?

5. Why not?

quote:Originally posted by SHARP:

1. Are there any other gods than you?

2. What are dreams made of?

3. How long have you been around?

4. Can Sidewayz, and I have 20 bucks each?

5. Why not?

i like this guy http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif)

1: why can't i get a beautiful girl

2: why are we here

3: is there any life in outta space

4: will I go to heaven or hell

5: more questions please

1. what the fuck do you think you're playing at, dicking around with me so much?

2. meaning of life?

3. can i have an unlimited supply of the strongest skunk ever?

4. where did you come from?

5. can i have some more questions?

Shittie

1. So you're God are you?

2. Really?

3. Fancy a sandwich? I've got plenty.

4. What sort of God doesn't like tuna?

5. You don't like mayonnaise or sweetcorn either? Jesus christ, I'm turning to satanism!

1. Why?

2. Why?

3. Why?

4. Why?

5. Why?

I have a feeling it might take me a while to get it....

1. Why did you make ^ those morons?

quote:Originally posted by Sidewayz:

1. wtf?

2. can i have 20 bucks?

3. wtf! why not?

4. wait, what are you doing?

5. ...

1) My robe, not yours, bitch!

2) No.

3) Because you won't be needed it...

4) Nothing...

5) Teehee.

~~~

quote:Originally posted by Frank Castle The Punisher:

Why are we here?

Where the fuck did you come from?

Is there an after life?

Those are really cool shoes,where did you get them?

You really got those at payless?

1) Because we aren't there.

2) Not a fuck, a random quantium event.

3) Yes, if you wish it so.

4) Payless.

5) Yup, was on sale too!

~~~

quote:Originally posted by johnney5:

Those were my first 3 more or less.

For the other two....

4. Can you watch anyone you want, anytime?

5. Are our lives already planned from birth to death, or do we actually do things ourselves:

For example, did God plan for me right now to type this message at this time at this location on these forums?



4) Yup, I see you.

5) Yup, but not because I will it so. It is because of how the universe works. Each moment happens because of the moment before it.

quote:Originally posted by XliMun(Frontalobe)~:

Are humans in contact with extraterrestrials?

Is there anything more than just life/nature?

What is outside of the universe?

What was 'existence' like before the supposed 'Big Bang'?

What religion has the highest value?



1) *Looks at Sidewayz* Yup.

2) Yup.

3) The void between the other universes in this multiverse.

4) It wasn't anything. The start of time, as we know it, was when I was created during that reaction.

5) The one that you hold closest to your heart.

~~~

quote:Originally posted by Knight of blacknes:

What are hamburger realy made off?

Is it treu that Jesus fucked mary in the ass

When is George Bush gonna invade Canada?

Would you adopt me so I can play son of god?

Are you gay?

1) Buggers. Buggers and pig asses.

2) Yup. Although she had just died at the time.

3) Three days ago.

4) No, sorry.

5) In the correct way of using gay, yes.

~~~

quote:Originally posted by Brilliant2U:

1. a/s/l?

2. Is there a heaven or a hell?

3. What is the correct religion?

4. When am I going to die?

5. What is the meaning of life?

1) All/None/Everywhere

2) If you wish there is, there shall be for you.

3) The one that you follow. If it doesn't feel right, then it isn't correct.

4) When you do.

5) The meaning is what you live for. When you find it out, you will truly understand.

~~~

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

George Bush, why?

Why, George Bush?

About that US president?

What's up with these American voters?

Any chance Bush will take up BASE jumping before November? Please?

1) Names God, not George Bush.

2) Oh, he didn't get my vote.

3) Yeah, but I don't want to lightning him yet.

4) No idea, too much.little pot I guess.

5) We'll see...

~~~

quote:Originally posted by SHARP:

1. Are there any other gods than you?

2. What are dreams made of?

3. How long have you been around?

4. Can Sidewayz, and I have 20 bucks each?

5. Why not?

1) Nope.

2) Electrical impulses in one's brain.

3) Really long.

4) You, ok, Sidewayz, no, because he never pays me back.

5) Oh, and he's dead, now.

~~~

quote:Originally posted by -Imp:



1: why can't i get a beautiful girl

2: why are we here

3: is there any life in outta space

4: will I go to heaven or hell

5: more questions please

1) I have given you beautiful women, many, in fact. It is just not outer beauity that I observe.

2) Tell me why you are not, and you shall have answered your own question.

3) This planet is in outer space, so yes, there is.

4) You shall go where you will.

5) Sorry, no.

~~~

quote:Originally posted by ShitFace:

1. what the fuck do you think you're playing at, dicking around with me so much?

2. meaning of life?

3. can i have an unlimited supply of the strongest skunk ever?

4. where did you come from?

5. can i have some more questions?

Shittie

1) You're funny to watch squirm.

2) Can't tell ya, you've got to find it out yourself.

3) No, sorry.

4) Myself, actually.

5) No, sorry, five per customer.

~~~

quote:Originally posted by sp0rkius:

1. So you're God are you?

2. Really?

3. Fancy a sandwich? I've got plenty.

4. What sort of God doesn't like tuna?

5. You don't like mayonnaise or sweetcorn either? Jesus christ, I'm turning to satanism!

1) Yup, I am.

2) Yes, really.

3) Sweet, I love good sammitches! Oh... Tuna? Ugh...

4) I'm allergic. What about the turkey? Oh, mayonnaise? Sweetcorn? Ugh...

5) Bah.

~~~

quote:Originally posted by Lilly:

1. Why?

2. Why?

3. Why?

4. Why?

5. Why?

I have a feeling it might take me a while to get it....

1) Because.

2) Because.

3) Because.

4) Because.

5) Because.

~~~

quote:Originally posted by SweetTea:

1. Why did you make ^ those morons?

1) Because it is my will, deal with it. http://www.totse.com/bbs/tongue.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/tongue.gif)

1) do u like watching me making mad love to my pillow?

2) why do u make british weather so wierd ?

3) is mother nature a good ride ?

4) is it true u & the devil were lovers but u divorced & are now bitter towards each other?

5) can i go home now?

Wow. Gustave. You put way too much thought into that. Or too little. Either way, you have too much free time.

1. how come jesus is popular than you?

2. why did you end hitlers life?

3. will you ever loose weight(gustave)?

4. will the leprachaun from lucky charms ever get a better offer from fruit loops?

5. <A HREF="http://home.earthlink.net/~kazendo/safari.jpg">http://home.earthlink.net/~kazendo/safari.jpg" width="90" height="90 (http://home.earthlink.net/~kazendo/safari.jpg" width="90" height="90)</A> [/URL] i hope these arent the shoes you bought from payless!



ps that bird from fruit loops is pissing me off! http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif)

[This message has been edited by chuckNrambo (edited 05-24-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by 09373473:

Wow. Gustave. You put way too much thought into that. Or too little. Either way, you have too much free time.

You all wanted an answer from me, so you got it. You could all make a shirt that says "I Spoke To God And All I Got Was This T-shirt, And A Burning Bush.". http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)

quote:Originally posted by Gustave:

You all wanted an answer from me, so you got it. You could all make a shirt that says "I Spoke To God And All I Got Was This T-shirt, And A Burning Bush.". http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)

AMEN!

lol http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif)

If real...

1.What's up, how is it up there?

2.What's Satan been up to?

3.It's obvious you don't care what goes on, but why do you let people wipe each other out?

4.Why am I better than other people? Genetics? Tell me

5.Can you make me something cool?

lol gus you are the man!.

seriously though, stop making me squirm. it fucking sucks! just make it all ok, and go fine...and not fuck up.

yes, you know what im talking about.

Shittie

1. Are you some kinda fuckin' idiot?

2. No, really - are you some kinda fuckin' idiot?

3. Bullshit. There's no WAY you designed a Platypus that way on purpose. You're an idiot.

4. So, is your kid pissed off at you about that whole 'crucifiction' thing? It was kinda abusive of you.

5. Wanna 'do it'??

me: are u really god, the creator of everything?

god: yes

me: really?

god: yes

me: really?

god yes

me: really?

god: yes

me: really?

god: yes! thank you come again

this comment brought to you by the fine writers of the simpsons

Sidewayz, grow up, you little girl...Stop whining about something you can't control.

who is your daddy, and what does he do?

1) You know what would be so cool? If, after judgement day and all that, and all the righteous are enjoying their (our?) eternal reward, we're allowed to branch off and create our own little universes, like "The Sims" or "Age of Empires", except so much cooler, 'cause it would be with real people, and we could so mess with their heads with UFOs and Bigfoot and shit.

2) Why are women so fucked in the head? Why can't they be more like us, except that sounds gay?

3) That's about it, really. Everything else I can pretty much figure out for myself. Can I use my last three questions to get lottery numbers?

My interview with god:

LNC: So, God, I see you pretty much run the world. What do you guys do for fun in Heaven, anyway?

God: Well, we like to smite things. You know how they say there's 100 lightning strikes a second?

LNC: Yeah, I read about that.

God: That's me and my drinking buddies playing darts.

LNC: Well, you hardly ever hit anything; shouldn't your holy powers enable you to hit whatever you're aiming at?

God: Like I said, drinking buddies.

LNC: Oh. What's the deal with Jesus, anyway? Why'd you have to snuff him?

God: I didn't "snuff" him, he did it himself.

LNC: But you told him to, right?

God: Not really. He had some debts, a few run-ins with the law and a drinking problem. Things just weren't going well for him. One day after his wife left him...

LNC: Wait, Jesus had a wife?

God: Yeah. They were quite a couple.

LNC: Who was she?

God: Somebody named Eve.

LNC: Wait, she's the one you kicked out of the garden of eden, right?

God: Yes, that's the one.

LNC: Then why did she get to marry your son after the whole forbidden fruit thing?

God: Well, Adam died. I made the fruit poisonous.

LNC: Mabye if you told them that they wouldn't of eaten it.

God: Well, that might of worked, but it sure taught Eve a lesson. Where was I? Oh, right, Jesus. So Eve left him for some Lazarus fellow, and he decided to end it all.

LNC: Then why does everyone say he died for their sins? And why did he nail himself to a cross?

God: Actually, he OD'ed on Myrrh. Zeus and Apollo thought it would be funny to nail him to a cross and convince some bystanders he was a martyr.

LNC: Wait? Zeus and Apollo? Aren't those Greek gods?

God: Yeah. There's quite a few of us up here.

LNC: I thought you were the one supreme god?

God: Nah. Actually all the other gods pick on me because I don't have a cool name of my own. I'm just god.

LNC: You should stand up to them.

God: Mabye. Anyway, I'm have an appointment with Satan.

LNC: Satan? I thought you and him were enemies?

God: That's not true. We do lots of things together.

LNC: Like what?

God: We send people to hell overnight as a joke. You should of seen the look on the Pope's face when he smelled the brimstone.

LNC: I see. Thanks for your time, God.

God: Don't mention it.

[This message has been edited by letsnukechina (edited 05-25-2004).]

That second post by gustave was acctully insightful, pretty much agreed with every thing, execpt payless is horrible, god seems like a sandals kinda guy any way, and everyone knows you cannot get nice sandals at payless. Also, gustave is right he is god, because god is in us all,



may you go in peace my childern

What brought you into existance?

Why are we here?

What is the question to the ultimate answer of the universe? (42)

Will we reach world peace in my life time?

Will you show me your.... you know....

quote:Originally posted by Gustave:

1) Why am I asking myself questions?

...

http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif)

Someone is going st8 to hell. Impersonating God on a self level or a bbs forum is thy 11th commandment http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif)

quote:Originally posted by letsnukechina:

My interview with god:

....&lt;insert message here&gt;

[This message has been edited by letsnukechina (edited 05-25-2004).]

You asked way more than 5 questions. :-

quote:Originally posted by diehard993:

Someone is going st8 to hell. Impersonating God on a self level or a bbs forum is thy 11th commandment http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif)

His point, I believe, is that there is no god.

I did ask way more than 5 questions. Big fucking deal, it was fun.

quote:Originally posted by letsnukechina:

I did ask way more than 5 questions. Big fucking deal, it was fun.

But I said 5 questions, not 17 I think you posted. Too bad, you suck.

-

(edit: never take me seriously)

[This message has been edited by 09373473 (edited 05-25-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by letsnukechina:

My interview with god:



Good job!

1. Where are my pants?

2. What's for dinner?

3. Why is poop brown?

4. Why is Snoopy so gay?

and finally

5. Could you please damn something for me?

my 5 questions for god would be.......

1) Why are you the big head honcho?

2) Why are there Shemales in our world?

3) Can I have your "job" for a year or 2?

4) What are the "rules" i have to fallow?

5) Why are the "rules" so gay?

quote:Originally posted by A655321:

His point, I believe, is that there is no god.



That was my first idea, but I decided that I would play God seeing that the position was open.... http://www.totse.com/bbs/wink.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/wink.gif)

quote:Originally posted by Gustave:

1) Why am I asking myself questions?

...

http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif)

shut up fatty

quote:Originally posted by Pud:

shut up fatty

Bahahahah, who the fuck are you, and why the fuck are you attempting to insult me?

Oh, must be the season for the noobs... http://www.totse.com/bbs/rolleyes.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/rolleyes.gif)

quote:Originally posted by Gustave:

Oh, must be the season for the noobs... http://www.totse.com/bbs/rolleyes.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/rolleyes.gif)

Too bad we can't shoot them.

How come the A-Team could shoot a lightbulb out from a mile away in a speeding vechile, but they never actually shot anyone?

After that, everything cease to matter

"Will i ever get laid"

"Do you preffer cookies, or pie?"

i need to know......

1. wtf?

2. :\ ok but stil don't you think that's kind of stupid?

3. By answering the following question you grant me omnipotence: what is 1+1?

4. Now that I know everything I'll save my other two questions for l8r.

what should my other 4 questions be?

how old are you?

what's the time?

what's your favourite colour?

where's the fucking remote gone?

what's the time now?



on a sidenote, i'm guessing we can ask god 5 questions, it's just debatable whether he's gonna be arsed to reply.

how's it going?

are you straight, or gay?

how big is your cock?

....oh. then how wide is your vagina?

....So that's where the shemale idea came from?...

quote:Originally posted by letsnukechina:

My interview with god:

LNC: So, God, I see you pretty much run the world.



If you believe that then your view of God is pretty fucked up...



Oh yea... WRONG FORUM

http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif)

quote:Originally posted by Frank Castle The Punisher:

Why are we here?

Where the fuck did you come from?

Is there an after life?

Those are really cool shoes,where did you get them?

You really got those at payless?

Because you want to.

I didn't come from anything, nor am I going towards anything.

You can't die, your body is a powertool, does your screwdriver die when you're not using it?

I got them at foot locker.

Payless is for people on welfare.

quote:Originally posted by johnney5:

Those were my first 3 more or less.

For the other two....

4. Can you watch anyone you want, anytime?

5. Are our lives already planned from birth to death, or do we actually do things ourselves:

For example, did God plan for me right now to type this message at this time at this location on these forums?



I experience everyone and everything at every time, at the same time.

Circumstances yes, what you do in the circumstances no. All of it is planned by you. I have no interest in the matter, I offer you hints you can understand, to help guide you, but that's also you in a way.

quote:Originally posted by XliMun(Frontalobe)~:

Are humans in contact with extraterrestrials?

Is there anything more than just life/nature?

What is outside of the universe?

What was 'existence' like before the supposed 'Big Bang'?

What religion has the highest value?



Yes, some of them.

More Universe, to try to describe it with words is meaningless.

Before all space time, I knew but couldn't experience, then I made space time, and now I can experience as well as know.

All religion is useless, co-operate is the only religion if any, that you should follow.

quote:Originally posted by Knight of blacknes:

What are hamburger realy made off?

Is it treu that Jesus fucked mary in the ass

When is George Bush gonna invade Canada?

Would you adopt me so I can play son of god?

Are you gay?

ground up animal parts, like hot dogs.

no, but he did finger her.

when he decides to.

you are my son, now go clean your room

yes, i'm also bi, and hetero, and I like inanimate objects.

1) How do I manipulate objects and thoughts with my mind?

2) How can I make a lot of money with no effort?

3) Where'd everything come from?

4) Can I take over?

5) Wanna beer?

#1 pretty much covers it all anyway.

quote:Originally posted by Brilliant2U:

1. a/s/l?

2. Is there a heaven or a hell?

3. What is the correct religion?

4. When am I going to die?

5. What is the meaning of life?

N/A

Only in your mind

None.

You don't die, you leave the body, and when you decide to.

to add your own meaning.

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

George Bush, why?

Why, George Bush?

About that US president?

What's up with these American voters?

Any chance Bush will take up BASE jumping before November? Please?

Certain people wanted him in office and there he is.

Voters are less than brilliant.

No.

quote:Originally posted by SHARP:

1. Are there any other gods than you?

2. What are dreams made of?

3. How long have you been around?

4. Can Sidewayz, and I have 20 bucks each?

5. Why not?

Yes, you monkeys are suitable for the task.

Your mind.

Too long for you to count with the latest super computer, and that's in eons.

Yes, you can have $20 but you'll spend it on weed, so I rather have you smoked out.

quote:Originally posted by -Imp:



1: why can't i get a beautiful girl

2: why are we here

3: is there any life in outta space

4: will I go to heaven or hell

5: more questions please

You don't think you deserve one deep down therefore creating that reality for you.

To play.

Yeah.

Both.

That's not a question fucktard.

quote:Originally posted by ShitFace:

1. what the fuck do you think you're playing at, dicking around with me so much?

2. meaning of life?

3. can i have an unlimited supply of the strongest skunk ever?

4. where did you come from?

5. can i have some more questions?

Shittie

It's called a sense of humor get one.

Add your own meaning

Nothing in space-time is unlimited, although you can have more than you can use in one particular lifetime.

From me.

If you want.

quote:Originally posted by sp0rkius:

1. So you're God are you?

2. Really?

3. Fancy a sandwich? I've got plenty.

4. What sort of God doesn't like tuna?

5. You don't like mayonnaise or sweetcorn either? Jesus christ, I'm turning to satanism!

Yea

Yea

Yea

I like tuna

I like mayo and sweetcorn, but Satan hates the brown part on the edge of the bread so you'll have to cut those out.

quote:Originally posted by WhamBam:

1) do u like watching me making mad love to my pillow?

2) why do u make british weather so wierd ?

3) is mother nature a good ride ?

4) is it true u & the devil were lovers but u divorced & are now bitter towards each other?

5) can i go home now?

As much as you do.

Cause you asked for it.

The best.

Who the fuck is the devil.

Probably.

quote:Originally posted by chuckNrambo:

1. how come jesus is popular than you?

2. why did you end hitlers life?

3. will you ever loose weight(gustave)?

4. will the leprachaun from lucky charms ever get a better offer from fruit loops?

5. &lt;A HREF="http://home.earthlink.net/~kazendo/safari.jpg"&gt; <A HREF="http://home.earthlink.net/~kazendo/safari.jpg">http://home.earthlink.net/~kazendo/safari.jpg" width="90" height="90 (http://home.earthlink.net/~kazendo/safari.jpg" width="90" height="90)</A> &lt;/A&gt; [/URL] i hope these arent the shoes you bought from payless!



ps that bird from fruit loops is pissing me off! http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif)

[This message has been edited by chuckNrambo (edited 05-24-2004).]

Whatever you worship you're actually worshipping me without knowing it.

I didn't he did.

Yes when he goes broke for a week.

Not until captain crunch stop's making the roof of my mouth bleed.

Me pay for shoes, c'mon i'm fucking god for crying out loud.

quote:Originally posted by CyberMan:

If real...

1.What's up, how is it up there?

2.What's Satan been up to?

3.It's obvious you don't care what goes on, but why do you let people wipe each other out?

4.Why am I better than other people? Genetics? Tell me

5.Can you make me something cool?

Up where, in my realm there is no up or down.

Satan is a bitch, motherfucker stole my roach collection.

I can't intefere with free will, that's up to you.

You're not better than anyone, except SATURNROCKETX, everyone is better than him.

I made you, you're pretty fucking cool, can't you be a little appreciative?

quote:Originally posted by mizled:

1. Are you some kinda fuckin' idiot?

2. No, really - are you some kinda fuckin' idiot?

3. Bullshit. There's no WAY you designed a Platypus that way on purpose. You're an idiot.

4. So, is your kid pissed off at you about that whole 'crucifiction' thing? It was kinda abusive of you.

5. Wanna 'do it'??

Yes, yes I am.

No, No i'm not.

Yes, yes I did.

Yea he was ticked but then when he realized that only the body dies, he was pretty cool about it.

Yes but you must let me German Hot-Dog your titties.