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View Full Version : If jesus was a jew how come his nose wasn't big?


proofisoutthere
2004-06-03, 10:54
Just wondering.

Brilliant2U
2004-06-03, 10:56
It probably was. You're only seeing the pure holy caucasian Jesus in all those paintings.

proofisoutthere
2004-06-03, 11:00
quote:Originally posted by Brilliant2U:

It probably was. You're only seeing the pure holy caucasian Jesus in all those paintings.

Yeah for somebody born in the middle east jesus is super white.

Suddenaddiction
2004-06-03, 11:05
The only one that looks middle-easty in the pic is the one on the right

Suddenaddiction
2004-06-03, 11:07
The only one that looks middle-easty in the pic is the one on the right

And jesus looks like a battyboy

http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/bassano/last-supper/last-supper.jpg

[This message has been edited by Suddenaddiction (edited 06-03-2004).]

Keltoiberserker
2004-06-03, 11:09
Well not all Jews have big noses first of all, and yes Jesus was made to look more like an Italian like those who painted him.

Morb
2004-06-03, 12:35
What's interesting is that the very earliest paintings of Jesus depicted him, awkwardly, as a simple "shepard of the sheep". The Christians hated the Romans so much after the fall of the Roman Empire that they purposely ignored all of the artistic knowledge that the Romans had accumulated over many centuries.

The pictures look childish and amateurish, not very sophisticated. But then, throughout the ages, depictions of Christ became obviously more adorned, with the halo around his head becoming more and more pronounced, and the godliness of his presence becoming more and more detached from the common world. Jesus became more and more deitized.

Big noses are not of interest here. History paints a much more interesting picture... literally. http://www.totse.com/bbs/wink.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/wink.gif)





[This message has been edited by Morb (edited 06-03-2004).]

Easy Going
2004-06-03, 12:35
Jesus was only half jew. He was half god, so maybe he had god's nose.

Frank Castle The Punisher
2004-06-03, 13:17
quote:Originally posted by Keltoiberserker:

Well not all Jews have big noses first of all, and yes Jesus was made to look more like an Italian like those who painted him.

Jesus don't take no crap from nobody

*watches jesus break his glasses and uses one of the shards as a knife to stab juelius*(sp)

bleep!
2004-06-03, 13:39
Scientific Jesus:

<A HREF="http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg">http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg" width="90" height="90 (http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg" width="90" height="90)</A>

refuch
2004-06-03, 13:55
well first of all, no one knows what jesus looked like or if jesus was a real human being. The figure Jesus is just a reference tool to describe a time and place, more or less, as well as gives an exagerated(sp?) story of the time in which he lived (minus about 30 years).

The answer to your question is infinite because it relates to a possibly fictious(sp?) character from a book well known to have a number of very beefed up plot details.

*edit*

besides, do you honestly think the church would alow jesus to have "jew" written on the face of the messiah? j/k

[This message has been edited by refuch (edited 06-03-2004).]

UndefinedMinded
2004-06-03, 14:01
Jesus fucking Christ my hands are all sticky and i have my hair all still gelled up and its like 6 a.m and i still need to take a fucking shower and i'm already all sedated and sleepy as hell from the sleeping pills i just took and i still haven't folded my fouton (however you spell it) into a bed yet..............

ophelia_of_dread
2004-06-03, 14:16
The immaculate aryan child was persecuted and it is he that came back to ravage them with the great disaster under the disgraced Furer. He is not wrathful, but he believes in an eye for an eye.

Blaydes
2004-06-03, 14:39
Jesus was black, so it wasn't his nose that was big...

mizled
2004-06-03, 19:05
quote:Originally posted by Keltoiberserker:

Well not all Jews have big noses first of all, and yes Jesus was made to look more like an Italian like those who painted him.

..but wops have big noses too..

{~&gt;~}

Jesus was Jewish, so he probably hung out with a lot of doctors and plastic surgeons - so I think he got a nose job.

FUELTBIACID
2004-06-03, 19:18
quote:Originally posted by proofisoutthere:

Just wondering.

cuz he had a jewish plastic sugeon from hollywood fix it- it's a MIRACLE!

FUELTBIACID
2004-06-03, 19:19
quote:Originally posted by proofisoutthere:

Originally posted by Brilliant2U:

It probably was. You're only seeing the pure holy caucasian Jesus in all those paintings.

Yeah for somebody born in the middle east jesus is super white.

he gots micheal jackson industrial disease!

SARDONICPILLOW
2004-06-03, 19:42
and bankers so he would have had money for a nose job

DuckWarri0r
2004-06-03, 19:48
quote:Originally posted by bleep!:

Scientific Jesus:

<A HREF="http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg">http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg" width="90" height="90 (http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg" width="90" height="90)</A>

What an oxymoron.

Mantrid
2004-06-03, 20:02
It was big and flat because jesus was a nigger.

I FUCKED ALICE TWICE
2004-06-03, 20:07
quote:Originally posted by proofisoutthere:

Just wondering.

How do you know what he looked like?

STORMofDEATH
2004-06-03, 20:30
Jesus is gay!



Jk... don't go all crazy on me like my friends did when i said that to them...

loz
2004-06-03, 20:32
I have a big nose and i'm not a jew.

*hides synagouge*

Infectedgoose
2004-06-03, 22:25
quote:Originally posted by mizled:

..but wops have big noses too..

{~&gt;~}

Jesus was Jewish, so he probably hung out with a lot of doctors and plastic surgeons - so I think he got a nose job.

I bet he hung out with a lot of famous people.

After all, he was well hung.

Dex
2004-06-03, 22:41
quote:Originally posted by ophelia_of_dread:

The immaculate aryan child was persecuted and it is he that came back to ravage them with the great disaster under the disgraced Furer. He is not wrathful, but he believes in an eye for an eye.

I hate you so much it is really unimaginable.

mizled
2004-06-03, 22:44
quote:Originally posted by Infectedgoose:

I bet he hung out with a lot of famous people.

After all, he was well hung.

http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif)

goodvibrations
2004-06-04, 05:43
he is a hippie drugs alter pictures sum how

bleep!
2004-06-04, 06:31
If he existed and he was a Jew (He could have been an alien!) then this:

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg" width="90" height="90 (http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg">Discovery News



quote:Originally posted by DuckWarri0r:

What an oxymoron.



How so?

pentupentropy
2004-06-04, 06:44
A) Jesus was not black. He was a jew, and whatever time frame you look at, there weren't many black jews. How many Israeli's do you know that look black? How many dark skinned jews do you know period? even just a hispanic looking or mediterranian tone? Jews are pretty light skinned. I have to agree that no one really knows what jesus looked like, or can prove that he even existed.

B)Jesus was way cool

Everybody liked Jesus

Everybody wanted to hang out with him

Anything he wanted to do, he did

He turned water into wine

And if he wanted to

He could have turned wheat into marijuana

Or sugar into cocaine

Or vitamin pills into amphetamines

He walked on the water

And swam on the land

He would tell these stories

And people would listen

He was really cool

If you were blind or lame

You just went to Jesus

And he would put his hands on you

And you would be healed

That's so cool

He could've played guitar better than Hendrix

He could've told the future

He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world

He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky

He could've danced better than Barishnikov

Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of

Jesus was way cool

He told people to eat his body and drink his blood

That's so cool

Jesus was so cool

But then some people got jealous of how cool he was

So they killed him

But then he rose from the dead

He rose from the dead, danced around

Then went up to heaven

I mean, that's so cool

Jesus was way cool

No wonder there are so many Christians

-King Missile

proofisoutthere
2004-06-04, 06:45
quote:Originally posted by bleep!:

If he existed and he was a Jew (He could have been an alien!) then this:

&lt;A HREF="http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg"&gt; http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg" width="90" height="90 (http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg">Discovery News





How so?

The belief in jesus has no scientific fact.

bleep!
2004-06-04, 07:09
quote:Originally posted by proofisoutthere:

The belief in jesus has no scientific fact.



And that is relevant...how, exactly?



Belief in Jesus of Nazareth is impertinent in a forensic reconstruction of the appearance of a male denizen of the Near East circa 1 A.D.; there are very well established scientific processes in place for such things.

(Well, as scientific as any procedure that deals with times long past can be, but scientific nonetheless.)



Again:

quote:Originally posted by bleep!:

How so?

Keltoiberserker
2004-06-04, 07:33
The worship of Jesus has no scientific fact, take into account that after the crucifiction he may have been denied burial or perhaps never died at all. If he died he was probably thrown to dogs or burnt.

Plus, lots of contemporaries mention the Yeshua ben Joseph

Keltoiberserker
2004-06-04, 07:40
quote:Originally posted by ophelia_of_dread:

The immaculate aryan child was persecuted and it is he that came back to ravage them with the great disaster under the disgraced Furer. He is not wrathful, but he believes in an eye for an eye.



ohh yeah, like that makes sense?

Father forgive them...

The Fuhrer was a disgrace to all of the Germanic peoples. I'm not "aryan" but I'm Scandinavian and the way they ripped on Norse mythology pisses me off, also taking over Denmark, and Norway. Claimin themselves as the ultimate "Nordics" when it was the Finns because they kicked Russian ass. Geez, give me break and get your mitts off Odin and Thor.

Gorgamesh
2004-06-04, 11:45
quote:Originally posted by pentupentropy:

A) Jesus was not black. He was a jew, and whatever time frame you look at, there weren't many black jews. How many Israeli's do you know that look black? How many dark skinned jews do you know period? even just a hispanic looking or mediterranian tone? Jews are pretty light skinned. I have to agree that no one really knows what jesus looked like, or can prove that he even existed.



You were correct with that first part: Jesus wasn't black. However, "Jew" is not a race, and most modern Jews are mostly white, from intermarriage, although the adaption to the climate of Europe should also be taken into consideration. The Hebrews of ancient Israel were of a middle eastern ethnicity, probably most similar to modern Arabs. There actually are black Jews in Ethiopia, by the way.

[This message has been edited by Gorgamesh (edited 06-04-2004).]

NumB-nUTz
2004-06-04, 11:57
Erm maybe because hes the son of God and so is like totally perfect?

FUELTBIACID
2004-06-04, 18:01
quote:Originally posted by Gorgamesh:

Originally posted by pentupentropy:

A) Jesus was not black. He was a jew, and whatever time frame you look at, there weren't many black jews. How many Israeli's do you know that look black? How many dark skinned jews do you know period? even just a hispanic looking or mediterranian tone? Jews are pretty light skinned. I have to agree that no one really knows what jesus looked like, or can prove that he even existed.



You were correct with that first part: Jesus wasn't black. However, "Jew" is not a race, and most modern Jews are mostly white, from intermarriage, although the adaption to the climate of Europe should also be taken into consideration. The Hebrews of ancient Israel were of a middle eastern ethnicity, probably most similar to modern Arabs. There actually are black Jews in Ethiopia, by the way.

[This message has been edited by Gorgamesh (edited 06-04-2004).]

anyone remember sammy davis, jr.? very black

jew- so black he was shiny & hung out w/dean martin.

24 Hours To Live
2004-06-04, 18:03
they both start with the same two letters, why dont you just let it go.

LordJugz
2004-06-04, 18:17
proof, you need to stop posting in the wrong forums now. This could've gone in another forum, and you know it. I know you're not stupid and I know you know where the right forums are. I'm not going to keep warning you. If one day you end up banned, blame me.

Lucky
2004-06-05, 16:43
quote:Originally posted by bleep!:

Scientific Jesus:

&lt;A HREF="http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg"&gt; <A HREF="http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg">http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg" width="90" height="90 (http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20030414/gallery/jesus_zoom.jpg" width="90" height="90)</A> &lt;/A&gt;

damn jesus was ugly. You'd figure being half god and all he would be a little better looking.

wickedclown420
2004-06-09, 00:41
Jesus wasn't a Jew. His last name was Christ, not Christowitch or Christenstein.

The Genocide Machine
2004-06-10, 01:17
I get it. Scientific Jesus. Harharhar. Christianity completly rejects the theory of evolution and science completely embraces it.

That is strange how Jesus appears so white when he's from the middle east...