Hi every one. I need some help trying to know who I am. I'm extremly weird and have random modes ranging from being so happy, being dizzy and seeing minor things such as walls moveing a little like i am right now. I also talk to my self a lot. Ill ask my self somthing in my mind and either its me or somthing else will respond. I had a very fucked up child hood and i used my imagination alot as a kid for instance i can look at a object and look away and still see the object in my mind and can anaylize it. I do that when i check out girls. Im a party person. I been a stoner for about a year and a half and now im on probation. I been drinking instead and its messed me up really bad. When ever i get near weed i get really weird and daze out of this reality for a while. I feel as if im going crazy. By you reading this all i can allready tell you guys think im a crazy insane person which i might be but i dont know. My cousin said that im crazy but i dont need to be locked up. When ever i get drunk i talk to things that are not a live and i have the most extremly weird trips ever. My imagination takes over really good i guess. I also somtimes act like a child or creat stupid rules in my mind and play games in this world. An example of one time i did this was when i was talking to my grandma and i was talking like i was in a musical. lol that was so funny. Can people respond to this and help me know who i am. PLz dont say ur crazy or ur nuts or insane lol which u might do. Just observe what i told you which is very little to what my whole life is and tell me what you think.

[This message has been edited by grungedstoned (edited 06-19-2004).]

Hmm...

Introspection is very important.

However, if it lasts more than five minutes at a time, it's MENTAL MASTURBATION.

Fucker.

well, how old are you? you may be displaying early symptoms of schizophrenia... don't stress about it, just be happy with yourself. but at some point, if these experiences start to fuck with your emotional stability, you should seek a psychological analysis.

schizophrenia comes in many degrees, from mild to completely paralyzing... many schizophrenics are not only functional, but also uniquely creative precisely because of their awareness of this altered perspective. it can be harnessed and controlled through honest rigor and discipline.

however, others are so confused that they become paranoids terrified of the most random and mundane stimulii. it's best to know where you lay on the spectrum, if you're on it at all.

Not knowing anything about you other than this post, I'll have to take a stab and say you are using your imagination a little bit more than everyone else.

Don't listen to people who say you are crazy because you say wierd things, that is stupid. Have you ever thought that these people are to stupid to understand what you say?

I dont think anyone on earth will be able to answer your post tile.

My advice, try and express yourself in a diffrent way, take up a new hobby, like drawing or some other artistic exercise.

Expand your mind.

PS: give up the booze and pot, it only complicates things.

quote:Originally posted by jimbo_aust:

Not knowing anything about you other than this post, I'll have to take a stab and say you are using your imagination a little bit more than everyone else.

Don't listen to people who say you are crazy because you say wierd things, that is stupid. Have you ever thought that these people are to stupid to understand what you say?

I dont think anyone on earth will be able to answer your post tile.

My advice, try and express yourself in a diffrent way, take up a new hobby, like drawing or some other artistic exercise.

Expand your mind.

PS: give up the booze and pot, it only complicates things.

^I'd listen to what this guy had to say

shut the fuck up and have fun http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif)

thx for the responses to my post alot of what you guys said should help me out a lot and I'm considering never drinking beer or smoking weed ever again. I went to a KISS concert and had the opportunity to smoke cronic and beer, and I didn't. I had a great time with out drugs leting me know that they are not needed. There was a problem on this day as well which I need help trying to understand. After the concert we ate food at a restaurant and we were laughing and enjoying are selfs and earlier that day we seen my cousins boyfriend buying beers. One of my cousins wasnt a post to know about this but I was joking around with my other cousins and she started saying what are you guys talking about tell me. And she kept saying that to me and wouldn't frekin drop it. My other cousin adam said now i have to tell her and i said no i dont, and he said yeah i do. And every one started turning on me, there was 5 of us. The main reason i didnt want to say this cause it will start problems in are family. After they were through with me i felt so fucking weird all my happiness from the concert and all my emotions died. My face had no expresion in it and i couldn't think a thought. I went home like that and read a magazine to help get me back into a good mode but it didnt work so i went to sleep. I noticed that this happend to me once before and for some weird reason after 4 hours my mind like fixes it self and I turn normal agian. Im wondering why my mind would do this in the first place. Plz respond and thx for any help.

Oh yeah im 17 years old, i dont act like it though.

[This message has been edited by grungedstoned (edited 06-21-2004).]

wow i just looked up schizophrenia on dictionary.com and i think i do have that

: (

1. Do you halucinate (audio or visual)?

2. Are you parinoid?

3. Do your moods 'bounce' around?

(I forget if that is the third 'requirement' for schizophrenia, you have to have two of the three).

Truth be told we know very little of the illness. The Native Americans had and considered it "touched by god." It was a plus in their culture, for they are the ones who can usually see different.

Keep all in mind but don't take to heart.

im getting the impression that english is not your first language, and if im right then you are good at english, whith a few common mistakes people learning the language tend to make, if im wrong then your just another random typer on the internet :S

just noticed a slight misusage of past tense that is very common for spanish speakers learning english

hmm....well....look for a psychologist to do a quick overall analassis of you, problem is they cost a shit load....they will give better answers then here though, after all, whats said is only 15% of communication, so 85% of what your saying isn't here

note...from what ive seen i would not recomend a behavioralist or humanist psychologist for ya if ya, if ya dont know what that is then ignore it

btw, according to eric erricson (psychologist, famous threys and crap like that) you are nearing the end of the stage of emotional/mental development he called identity vs. role confusein which is where the individual either finds out who they are or is unsure of what they are doing, and finding the idientitiy is done by personalaty blending with other people

I think i may have the same problem. When i was little kids used to pick on me and shit until i was like 13, and then i was accused of training kids to build pipe bombs and said i was planning to blow up the school with PVC pipes that i stole from them. Shit will leave scars in your mind forever! Im pretty fucked now but i wont take shit from anyone anymore. I mentally snapped whenever they accused me of that shit, After i talked to a detective and found out that i was telling the truth the school didnt do shit! I should sue their lowsy asses

You sound normal to me....I don't think you have schizophrenia, my moms old frined has it and she's VERY angry..although thats has nothing to do with it, there's much more to schizophrenia than whats in a dictionary. You seem to have a great imagination which most people lack and like what jimbo_aust said before, take up a hobby or something creative. Use what you have as an advantage in life and you should come out better than others....hopefully.

English is my first and only language i tried learning spanish and had a hard time with it. Im pretty smart but suck at spelling and grammer. I halucinated only 2 times audio recently and thought my grandma was calling my name, I seen minor things visually like a flash of weird colors every so often but rare, I seen images like a face for instance but blury and distorted.I do express my self in playing music i done an ok job. Once me and my cousin Bob were playing together and it was the weirdest day of my life i was really into the music and i looked at my tv and saw the weirdest thing ever i forgot what color it was but it look like a purplish figure and vanished fast i froze and stoped playing i looked at my cousin and he looked scared to.. he seen what i seen and we talked about it so i could know it wasnt just me. SOmetimes i get paranoid even when i dont smoke i wouldnt say its frequently, but every now and than i do. My moods bonce around alot i can have a great day and if someone says somthing to me thats not good ill get thrown into the shittist mood ever. But i can bounce back up or can go in a diferent direction like being dilerious which is a syptom of schizophrenia. One more thing i should mension maybe it makes no diffence but my mom is a very weird person as well and to me i can say shes crazy which means i could have got this from her. Her and my dad broke up and i stoped talking to her recently because i started relizeing how she is. She brain washed me and my sister into thinking my dads the bad guy but as i started learning more about her and her past my dad has been the good guy all along. She lied to me one last time before i left her alone. Her mind is even more complicated to understand then my own. She allways brings up the past and for stupid reasons. She used to tell me that my dad cheated on her all the time and beleaved it to her heart, but the were seperated at those times he was with girls and they were never married either. On the other hand she could say that stuff when she cheated on him with every single friend he had well they were consider back together. My mom even tried to have my dad killed after they separated. My mom slept with a few guys who she tried to brain wash into beleaveing that my dad was the bad guy. They allmost beleaved it but my dad talked to them and the realized she was tricking them. They were going to kill her for my dad but he said to let her live. Thx for all the help and yeah things that happen in the past do mess up the mind I have a long sketchy past.

[This message has been edited by grungedstoned (edited 06-21-2004).]

hon, a fucked up family life i the start of alot of problems, most can be fixed thru talking to ppl and stuff. Try getting away from them for a while, like hanging out with ur non-pot non-beer non-drugs friends. Just remember, u cant control other ppl's lives. So ur mom's a nutball, screw her! Just dont need up like her.

And the hallucinationare probably jsut ur imagination... that's all. Relax and get back to urself.

heh I have the same thing happen to me, I can stare into space and hear/see things. They arn't just random things though, I can thing hard about a car or something and see the car in front of me but it's not really there. I mostly just ignore it and think of the first thing that pops into my head. Do you have a photographic memory? I do and awhile ago I thought that might have something to do with it.

schitzophrenia occurs in every 100 people. so the chances that you might have it are very high.

your problem sounds to me like you have psychosis. you might be suffering from delusions. there are 6 types of delusions and they are...

1.depressive delusions - this is when you believe that you have commited a horrible crime or a sinful deed.

2. somatic delusions - where you believe that your body is "rotting away" or something is terribly wrong with your body.

3. delusions of grandeur - where you believe that you are an extremely important person.

4. delusions of influence - where you believe that you are being controlled by others or by and unseen force.

5. delusions of persecution - where you believe that others are "out to get you"

6. delusions of reference - where you give personal significance to unrelated events (you may think that something in the newspaper or on a television program is giving you a secret personal message)

but the type of psychosis that i think that you are suffering from is personal disintegration. it is a loss of coordination among thoughts, actions, and emotions.

common warning signs of psychosis are...

-bizarre thoughts or beliefs that defy reality

-hearing unreal voices, seeing things others dont

-being extremely sad, persistently despondent, or suicidal

-being excessively energetic, having little need for sleep

-loss of appetite, sleeping excessively, having no energy

-extreme mood swings

-having engaged in anti-social, destructive, or self-destructive behavior

i strongly suggest that you seek psychiatric help. the drugs and drinking have really messed you up.

You sound like me. I feel sorry for you.

Just try and change it yourself.

You should be in control of these things right? So you could change them yourself, by just concentrating and using your mind, just let it happen. This may all be your subconcious, because you know there's something wrong and you know you shouldn't do it but you just let it happen. And then you just keep letting it happen and you keep letting your mind wander and it just gets worse and worse and you lose control more every time.

You need to stop and snap out of it. Create rules for your mind. If you don't have the mental stabilty or strenght to, beat it the hard way. Brute force this shit, meditate for as long as you need, to hours if needed.

Concentrate and don't let your mind kind of get out of line, I know this souds crazy because it is, but the more you do this I think the more natural it will be to be natural. You're definately not normal and you're definately not stupid or at a norma level of intellect, so a shrink would probably wouldn't help you at all.

I think because of the situation your the only one that can help yourself and should get to it before it gets worse, take fucking control it feels good to know you don't have to worry about your thoughts or feel bad about them, you know there in control and there's nothing wrong.

[This message has been edited by ate'd (edited 06-23-2004).]

Edit again: Being weird isn't at all a bad thing, it means that your different from the mindless and ignorant mass of normal people which make up the human race. Just learning to control the differences in behavior and thought to a more acceptable by a normal person level is probably needed.

[This message has been edited by ate'd (edited 06-23-2004).]

Hey guys its me again, to answer one of your guys questions, i dont got a good photographic memory any more because of the drugs, i thank you guys for responding to this. I been trying to take some of your help besides seeing a psycologist which will be my last resort, I been fine for the past while and been off drugs and beer. I know for a fact that drugs ruined my mind more. Weed made me lazy,slower, and my memory shittier. Beer added to these effects for me faster. Made my memory fucked up, made it so I cant remember my dreams any more...: ( i used to remember my dreams 100 percent i only remember them 20 percent or less now : (.. that fucking sucks well hopfully if i stay off them my mind will restore my sanity and will fix my memory problems. Thx ate'd for your advice which I tried and it's working pretty good and thx to everyone else who helped me http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/biggrin.gif)

[This message has been edited by grungedstoned (edited 06-23-2004).]

Yea, no problem.

Another thing. If you really value your mental stability, intellectually speaking. Meaning if you started to freak out once you really your memory and ability to concentrate (for me) has completely turned to shit from smoking and drinking (just like me), then just don't dwell on it. Nothing can happen from weed and beer that can't be fixed, unless you smoke and drink for more than a while.

I used to get fucking paranoid and depressed because I thought I had ruined my brain. I have in a way, but oh well. It just makes me more normal, I forget things easily like my friends do, people just blend in and I can't depersonlize their actions, and life pretty much just goes and I go with it. But after a year, I pretty much realize I hadn't changed except for the fact that I was paranoid and depressed from delusions. It passed and I can still feel the effects of weed and drinking but it's nothing bad and I'm still as myself as I want to be.

So basically I'm just trying to say that most of what you're thinking is just a delusion or simple and normal paranoia, and with that said, to just accept yourself for who you are. You are only what you make yourself out to be.

If schizophrenia occurs in every 100th person, why is it a bad thing?

Enjoy it. Play with it. Just do it. I do.

Roses are red violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

I'm pretty sure that a lot of that stuff you mentioned is rather normal. Maybe. I know I have a lot of the things you mentioned. The dizzyness and the walls moving thing is probably the drugs. I don't think that the talking to yourself thing is wierd, I get into fights with myself all the time, mostly as a result of self loathing for minor things that I feel I should have been able to do better, mainly social things. I hate that. Bad memory is hard to deal with, too. For me, it's a genetic thing, and I'm constantly forgetting why I went into a room, where I put something down that I was holding ten seconds ago, forgetting where I'm going and wandering into the wrong place, what my homework for a particular class was, etc. In fourth grade, I forgot how to spell 'the' one time. As for the seeing things, I don't really see things, but I see things IN things. Like that lady in the short story 'the yellow wallpaper'. For instance, I'm looking at a tree right now, and thethis one part looks like a one eyed monster with wings for ears puking in two directions. I see things like this everywhere. It's sort of the same with hearing things. I don't really, but sometimes every sound I hear seems to have a mocking and dissaproving tone to it, as if everything was against me.

anyways, good luck. What you described doesn't sound overly serious, as the things you talked about don't sound all that severe.

quote:Originally posted by ate'd:

Roses are red violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

schitzophrenia isnt a multiple personality disorder

so...roses are red, violets are blue, clintons a liar, and so are you

Yes, it is. It's a variety of different personality disorders with that being one of them. Schmuck.

quote:Originally posted by ate'd:

Schmuck.

Haha, I found out yesterday what that word means. It makes the insult so much more enjoyable.