Raider101
2004-06-28, 01:46
I was going to stay at an old friends house for a day or two and we were just going to go around and talk to old friends from high school. So he comes to pick me up and we are driving around and I realize we are going the wrong way. We pull into a multi-level parking lot and automatically I say "WTF?"
Him "We are going to church"
My heart started racing, he was going to break my perfect record, almost 2 decades of no church. I acted fast, he managed to get me into the building and it was torture. The over acheivers kept saying "amen" for every two words the ringmaster said. The ringmaster was speaking like he was not worthy and such, the whole time I said "If there is a god, it can quote me as I say, "F" this" They had cameras and it was in an auditorium, not what I expected (I was thinking along the line of an old stone/hardwood church with dim lighing and stained glass.
So immediately I acted, for those of you who don't know, I am in the military (to clear up any of the esueing story). My escape and evasion training kicked in. The ringmaster said "let us pray" I had a feeling this would be my only opportunity, because as he said that, EVERYONE closed their eyes. They prayed long, and I started movement, silently, working my way to exits, trying not to creak any loose floorboards. The church was dead silent and I kept moving, the nearest exits were blocked by what looked like "guards?" I didn't want to go near them. The only door was all the way across the church, I moved up the steps onto the second floor and crept my way to the back, avoiding any possible avenues of approach (in this case, line of sight) by the ringmaster (sry, I forget what they call that guy at the front leading it all). I stay low like avoiding the sites of a marksman, I close in on the door and ever so slowly open it and roll through. I feel relieved as though feigning death. Yet I know my escape is not completed, I take a second to regain my bearings and plan my next step of my evasion route. I see that I am at the top of a stairwell, but people are coming up very rapidly, to my right is a dark hall, I move swiftly but as silently as the creaking floor boards allow. As the group rounds the top of the steps I duck into a crevice, my body juts out a bit but it is too dark for them to notice, they look over in my direction with suspicion but proceed into the auditorium. I continue down the hall to another stairwell, yet to no avail a security guard is on his way up. I have no time to fall back to the other stairwell so I sacrafice my route for safety and head up the stairs and keep going to the 4th floor, I was about to burst through the double doors when I heard two people talking and undoubtedly heading my way. I check my 6 and fall back to the 3rd floor. I make sure the other side of the door is secure and just I move through the guard coming up spots me. My heart jumps and move quickly down the connecting hall. I realize I wont make it to the other side even if I run, so I take an almost un-necessary chance and duck into an open room to my left. It's an office. I notice a window that overlooks the auditorium, just as I spot my backstabbing friend, the prayers end (wtf took them so long to pray?) my friend jumps as he realizes I am not there, he looks around in bewilderment, invoking a chuckle on my behalf. I exit through another door in the large office, which looks like it belongs to someone important, before I leave I see a giant religious quote, I again chuckle, this time at its' ridulousness (it was a stupid quote from some Italian guy). The hall I enter is obviously to the older parts of the building, I go down hall after hall, after hall, and find another stair well this one goes straight to the basement, which resembles that of a dungeon (wrought iron bars and brick everywhere). I find a door and half expect something to jump me as I leave, my escape is becoming ridculously long and I wonder if I should have probably tried to pass the procession of people coming up the stairs when I left the auditorium, it is much better than the dark dank scene around me now. But I leave into a dark, yet more modern looking hall, the only light is a dim red emergency bulb halfway down the hall, my mind plays tricks on me, I have flash backs to my resident evil/silent hill gaming days. I move at a light jog, all senses on full alert as though something is chasing me despite my best logic telling me I am completely safe, yet my imagination runs faster than I, but I always still feel safer in the dark. I make it to the light and the exit to the basement, somehow I feel safer staying in the basement. Then I flash back to reality which is the church around me. I think I entered the oldest part of the church because the walls were stone blocks and the doors were massive and wooden, like an old castle. Finally I step out of medieval times and into the hustle and bustle of the downtown city streets (which is really 2 blocks away). I turn around I realize I am locked out, it's for the better. I have completed my evasion route and my escape is over. I sit for another 30 minutes and my pal comes out just as bewildered as he was when I spied him from the office. My excuse? I needed to use the bathroom and I got lost.
So does this actually count as going to church? Am I still considered atheist? And what do you all think of my evasion, however un-necessarily long it may have been?
Him "We are going to church"
My heart started racing, he was going to break my perfect record, almost 2 decades of no church. I acted fast, he managed to get me into the building and it was torture. The over acheivers kept saying "amen" for every two words the ringmaster said. The ringmaster was speaking like he was not worthy and such, the whole time I said "If there is a god, it can quote me as I say, "F" this" They had cameras and it was in an auditorium, not what I expected (I was thinking along the line of an old stone/hardwood church with dim lighing and stained glass.
So immediately I acted, for those of you who don't know, I am in the military (to clear up any of the esueing story). My escape and evasion training kicked in. The ringmaster said "let us pray" I had a feeling this would be my only opportunity, because as he said that, EVERYONE closed their eyes. They prayed long, and I started movement, silently, working my way to exits, trying not to creak any loose floorboards. The church was dead silent and I kept moving, the nearest exits were blocked by what looked like "guards?" I didn't want to go near them. The only door was all the way across the church, I moved up the steps onto the second floor and crept my way to the back, avoiding any possible avenues of approach (in this case, line of sight) by the ringmaster (sry, I forget what they call that guy at the front leading it all). I stay low like avoiding the sites of a marksman, I close in on the door and ever so slowly open it and roll through. I feel relieved as though feigning death. Yet I know my escape is not completed, I take a second to regain my bearings and plan my next step of my evasion route. I see that I am at the top of a stairwell, but people are coming up very rapidly, to my right is a dark hall, I move swiftly but as silently as the creaking floor boards allow. As the group rounds the top of the steps I duck into a crevice, my body juts out a bit but it is too dark for them to notice, they look over in my direction with suspicion but proceed into the auditorium. I continue down the hall to another stairwell, yet to no avail a security guard is on his way up. I have no time to fall back to the other stairwell so I sacrafice my route for safety and head up the stairs and keep going to the 4th floor, I was about to burst through the double doors when I heard two people talking and undoubtedly heading my way. I check my 6 and fall back to the 3rd floor. I make sure the other side of the door is secure and just I move through the guard coming up spots me. My heart jumps and move quickly down the connecting hall. I realize I wont make it to the other side even if I run, so I take an almost un-necessary chance and duck into an open room to my left. It's an office. I notice a window that overlooks the auditorium, just as I spot my backstabbing friend, the prayers end (wtf took them so long to pray?) my friend jumps as he realizes I am not there, he looks around in bewilderment, invoking a chuckle on my behalf. I exit through another door in the large office, which looks like it belongs to someone important, before I leave I see a giant religious quote, I again chuckle, this time at its' ridulousness (it was a stupid quote from some Italian guy). The hall I enter is obviously to the older parts of the building, I go down hall after hall, after hall, and find another stair well this one goes straight to the basement, which resembles that of a dungeon (wrought iron bars and brick everywhere). I find a door and half expect something to jump me as I leave, my escape is becoming ridculously long and I wonder if I should have probably tried to pass the procession of people coming up the stairs when I left the auditorium, it is much better than the dark dank scene around me now. But I leave into a dark, yet more modern looking hall, the only light is a dim red emergency bulb halfway down the hall, my mind plays tricks on me, I have flash backs to my resident evil/silent hill gaming days. I move at a light jog, all senses on full alert as though something is chasing me despite my best logic telling me I am completely safe, yet my imagination runs faster than I, but I always still feel safer in the dark. I make it to the light and the exit to the basement, somehow I feel safer staying in the basement. Then I flash back to reality which is the church around me. I think I entered the oldest part of the church because the walls were stone blocks and the doors were massive and wooden, like an old castle. Finally I step out of medieval times and into the hustle and bustle of the downtown city streets (which is really 2 blocks away). I turn around I realize I am locked out, it's for the better. I have completed my evasion route and my escape is over. I sit for another 30 minutes and my pal comes out just as bewildered as he was when I spied him from the office. My excuse? I needed to use the bathroom and I got lost.
So does this actually count as going to church? Am I still considered atheist? And what do you all think of my evasion, however un-necessarily long it may have been?