heres my starting one...

Why are all jews clean?



BECAUSE THEY HAVE SO MANY SHOWERS!



im so bored http://www.totse.com/bbs/frown.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/frown.gif)

and boring.

wrong forum.

A man was driving down the road with a priest. He saw an Indian on the side of the road and swerved to make sure he hit him. The he thinks to himself "Oh shit, I shouldn't mow down Indians with the priest in the car. They drive a few more mile before seeing another Indian, again he swerved and nailed him. Then kicked himself for it. A while later he saw another Indian started to swerve but pulled back at the last second. As he did the preist wiped the door open and clobered the Indian as they went by, he turned to the man and said "You were going to miss.".

What the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesnt screem on the way into the oven.

How do you fit 20 jews into a volkswagen? 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 15 in the ashtray.

Why do niggers smell so bad? so the blind can hate them too.

quote:Originally posted by Eil:

and boring.

wrong forum.

plz no negative comments fucknugget http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)

Ah shit the jokes already been said.

[This message has been edited by fishtea (edited 03-17-2005).]

Why would a priest want to kill an Indian? That was lame.

Ive heard that joke before, but with fags instead of indians- that made sense.

What happens when a Jew walks into a brick wall with a full erection?



He brakes his nose.

What's the similarity between Eski and a slinky?

Neither are much use, but they are both fun to push down stairs.

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because we killed the only one with a dream.

(Martin Luther King)

You can take them out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of them

hey you hear about the new black barbie

it comes with aids welfair check and 12 kids

quote:Originally posted by The_Reckoning:

What's the similarity between Eski and a slinky?

Neither are much use, but they are both fun to push down stairs.



whats the difference between you and a jew?

there isnt one

ur both gay useless and deserve to be fucking wiped out like the fucked up pieces of shut you are http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)

When Nuns are admitted to Heaven they go through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels.

Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy.

"And so," says St. Peter, "have you ever had any contact with a penis?"

"Well," says the first Nun in line, "I did once just touch the tip of one with the tip of my finger."

"OK" says St. Peter, "Dip your finger in the holy water and pass on into heaven."

The next Nun admits that "Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged one a bit."

"OK" says St. Peter, "Rinse your hand in the holy water and pass on into heaven."

Suddenly there is some jostling in the line and one of the nuns is trying to cut in front.

"Well now, what's going on here?" says St. Peter.

"Well, your excellency," says the Nun who is trying to improve her position in line, "If I'm going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister Mary Thomas sticks her arse in it."

Jesus and Moses were sitting on a bench in heaven, remembering the good old days. They talked about what they used to be able to do and wondered if they still had their old tricks in them.

So, they decided to go see if they still had extra-worldly powers like they had so many years before. The pair went to the Red Sea and Moses raised his hands and parted the sea just like he had when he was much much younger.

Jesus, clearly amazed, asked Moses, "There's so much that I did, but what could I do now to see if I still have the power?"

"Walk on water like the good old days," replied Moses.

So Jesus kicked off his sandals and stepped into the water. He took three steps on the surface and then sank under the murky waters of the Red Sea. Dumbfounded, he looked at Moses and wondered what was the matter.

"Must be those fucking holes in your feet," Moses responded.

quote:Originally posted by Eski:



whats the difference between you and a jew?

there isnt one

ur both gay useless and deserve to be fucking wiped out like the fucked up pieces of shut you are http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)

Oh, I'm a piece of "shut", am I? How insulting.

The degree to which you've been pissed off, and your lack of articulation and proper grammar, further demostrate your previous OWNAGE.

Also, the fact that you can't even think up a good counter-insult only worsens the wound of PWNAGE.

A moselem and a jew are walking in the park. The jew asks to be eaten. Then the moslem says, "I'm on a diet."

Then the jew shakes his head and says, "It's okay; I'm fat free."

[This message has been edited by niggersexual (edited 03-21-2005).]

quote:Originally posted by niggersexual:

A moselem and a jew are walking in the park. The jew asks to be eaten. Then the moslem says, "I'm on a diet."

Then the jew shakes his head and says, "It's okay; I'm fat free."



Lame! If the Jew said "It's okay; I'm hallal." then it would be slightly better, but still gay.

[boondock saints] A nigger a Spic and a white person are all given 1 wish from a genie. The nigger wishes his people back to afirca and prosperity, the spic the same. What does the white guy wish for? A coke. hahahaaha [/boondock saints]

How did religious jokes turn into racial jokes...?

Who was the best jewish cook ever?

Hitler...

How about the best religious joke of all time...

God

WHERE IS THE MOD ?!!

http://www.totse.com/bbs/rolleyes.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/rolleyes.gif)

You've started threads lsimilar to this before...

(EDIT: oops, wait, never mind. Sarcasm's easy to miss online)

A rabbi and a catholic priest are walking down the road together, when the priest spots a young, impoverished boy walking in the other direction.

"Hey," he says, nudging the rabbi, "see that kid? Let's go screw him!"

The rabbi looks at the boy, then back to the priest in confusion. "Screw him out of what?"

[This message has been edited by Tesseract (edited 03-23-2005).]

quote:Originally posted by The_Reckoning:

Oh, I'm a piece of "shut", am I? How insulting.

The degree to which you've been pissed off, and your lack of articulation and proper grammar, further demostrate your previous OWNAGE.

Also, the fact that you can't even think up a good counter-insult only worsens the wound of PWNAGE.

...no point wasting my time putting in effort to insult someone which has less use than a midget with no limbs that has cerebral palsy and downsydrome

Why do all the ladies love jesus?

Cause he's hung like this! *spreads arms*



How does jesus bite his nails?

*bites at wrists*

quote:Originally posted by GermanAmerican:

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because we killed the only one with a dream.

(Martin Luther King)

You can take them out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of them

God you're dumb as hell.

It's:

Why don't black people have dreams?

Because the last one who had a dream got shot.

And:

Why do German gas showers have 11 holes?

Jews only have 10 fingers.

God was looking for a place to go on vacation, Gabriel suggested Earth. The Supreme Being shook his head and replied, “I don’t know about that, I was there about 2000 years ago, got this Jewish chick knocked up, and they’re still talking about it.”

________________________

Bubba and his pal were driving home from a cross burning, running without lights to avoid being noticed. A 12 point buck deer jumped out in front of them, Bubba lost control of the car and wrecked. The passenger died instantly and a few minutes later, Bubba died, too.

Bubba got to the Pearly Gates just in time to see his buddy headed down to hell. He hollered, “What happened?” His pal yelled back, “It turns out God is black, and boy is she pissed off.

First, let me say that i'm not in any way racist...

-why are ther seven pallbearers at a black funeral?

--six to carry the coffin, and one to carry the boom box!

-What's blue, green, yellow, red, and purple?

--My nigger and i'll paint 'im any color i want!

-How do you starve a nigger?

--hide his paycheck under his workboots!

-What's the difference between a nigger and a piece of sheetrock?

--No one likes hanging sheetrock!

-What's the difference between a Jew and a cookie?

--Cookies don't scream as they burn in the oven!

-What's the difference between a nigger and shit in a bucket?

--The bucket!

A man walks into the bar with an alligator. He walks up to the bartender and asks for two shots. The bartender says that they don't serve alligators. The man looks around and leans in close, replying, "Well, you serve niggers in here, right?" Yes came the obvious answer. leaning back snugly, the man finalizingly states, "He'll have whatever they're having"!

i've got tons more, just ask. If i offended you... good! The KrA-Z-8 answers to no man!

who's the best jewish cook?

HITLER

quote:Originally posted by Tesseract:

You've started threads lsimilar to this before...

(EDIT: oops, wait, never mind. Sarcasm's easy to miss online)

A rabbi and a catholic priest are walking down the road together, when the priest spots a young, impoverished boy walking in the other direction.

"Hey," he says, nudging the rabbi, "see that kid? Let's go screw him!"

The rabbi looks at the boy, then back to the priest in confusion. "Screw him out of what?"



Priceless...

The pope visits australia and is astounded and disgusted by the amount of racism in the country.

One day while going for a stroll in the northern territory he see's a boong (nigger) struggling to get out of a crocodiles jaws. Then, totally outof the blue he see's two white men across the river jump into the water, drag the crocodile to shore and beat it to death.

The pope yells "i was disgusted by the amount of racism in this country when i first got here. You wonderfull people have made me see that this country is not full of racists. Thank you and god bless." and with that the Pope leaves.

One Aussie looks to the other and said "Who the fuck was that?"

The other goes "Stuffed if i know ay, but he knows fuck all about crocodile fishing, check the bait."

whats the jewish dillema? (sp?) Free Ham.