Jesus is going to come back and destroy us all. He's totally pissed that so many of you are wankers. How does that make you feel, knowing that at any moment the Supreme Almighty is going to smite your ass like a cracked out super ninja on crystal meth?

I'd be totally scared if I were you. That goes for all you internet sickos who do the following:

- Watch totally hot teen porn for just $14.95/month (Jesus hates that shit)

- Choose Weee-dix Natural Male Enhancement (God gave you 4 inches for a reason)

- Vote Republican (What the fuck are you thinking? I sure as hell don't know. Jesus doesn't either, so he's going to ownz0r joo all)

- Go to church (Jesus doesn't want you to go to church. He wants you to be totally mellow and love everything, not force cyanide down your children's throats in some remote South American country. **NOTE** You also get a +10 level smiting for doing this shit in Jesus's name. OWNZORED)

- Live in Kansas (That's right all you Kansans out there. Jesus sent the Dust Bowl for a reason: he was telling all the smart people to get the fuck out and go to California. The stupid ones stayed in Kansas and had babies. Jesus was totally pissed about that. A big no-no...)



This is just a small selection of things that the Almighty is hosed about. Everyone better start fixing this shit if they want to save their souls. I know I'd listen if Jesus was totally pissed at me.

I'd totally listen.

You just won my daily What the Fuck Were You Thinking Award.

-Val