My name is Aaron. I was born in 1971 on a Army base in Alabama to my mother and father. I am their second son. I want to tell you a condensed version of what happened in my life that lead me to accept Jesus. Please read on ~

By the time I was 2 years old I had already been Germany and several US states. When I was five my mother divorced my father because he was not faithful to her. I never saw him again until I was 18 when I graduated from High school. After enduring sexual abuse from my brother, which was discovered from a learning disability, I became a nervous introvert. I grew up outside of Detroit Michigan because that is where we went after the divorce. It didn't help much because there was a time I was afraid of walking down the street. One day a car drove by with a guy sticking a gun out at me for no other reason then to scare me. It worked.

It was not an easy life growing up in that area. Nothing was expected from us other then either working in the factories or joining the military. It was a true blue collar, union, blood, sweet and tears town.

I started smoking cigarettes when I was 11 years old. My mother used to send me up to the corner store to buy her cigarettes. Eventually I was buying my own. I was up to a pack a day by the time I was twelve. Not to mention being drunk off of whiskey, smoked my first joint, took my first acid hit by the time I was 12. When I was 15 is when the drugs stopped. I told my friends girlfriend that he was using cocaine and I was kicked out of the click soon afterwards.

My mother remarried when I was 7 but they were both working full time and going to school at night. I really had no direction or parental oversight.

I joined the Marines when I was 17 and shipped off to serve in Desert Shield and Desert Storm in 1990-91 after boot camp. After traveling half-way around the world and back twice - I decided I had enough and got out. I moved to California with hopes to go to school and start a new life.

Not long after arriving here my mother committed suicide. She was in and out of the mental ward for a few years but she eventually gave in to it. It seems she could not heal from the emotional scars of watching her own father take his life with a deer rifle when she was a young teenager. He didn't want to live as a deaf man anymore they say. My grandparents are/were deaf.

After her death my strength and motivation diminished a little and I began to fall apart on the inside. Being by myself in California with no family support was difficult.

I went to a tech school and became a certified electronics technician - for what it's worth - but, got a job doing computer network support. After losing a long term girlfriend to my own infidelity and basic ugliness towards her I fell apart hard.

My entire life was pointless and worthless to me. Nothing was good, nothing was worth the effort, even taking the next breath drew more hatred for my own existence. I was an angry, bitter and tortured soul through my experiences.

When I was 11, a friend gave me a gold cross. It was the ugliest thing you ever saw. It was gold plated and a strange design. It had a blue opaque type rock thing in the middle. I kept it for whatever reasons. At that point in my life I pulled out that cross and held on to it as my heart ached with so much pain I could not tolerate it. I didn't know what I was doing but I knew I needed to hang onto that cross. For over two weeks I was in agonizing heart break and it was getting worse by the day.

I started to remember a friend in the Marines who shared His faith with me about Jesus Christ. I remembered going to church as a little kid and being put in the Sunday school class. All of those things meant nothing to me until this moment.

It was the moment I will never forget. In an instant I felt a great burdon removed from me. All the pain and aches in my heart left as I felt in my spirit a warm embrace. I never heard a voice nor did I ever see a form or figure but, at that moment I knew I would never have to worry about being loved again. God revealed himself to me for the first time.

I was amazed at this experience. I had no more tears, no more pain, no more anxiety, no more fears and I was able to go outside again. I found a friend who invited me to church and there I cried in front of everybody as a I said to God, "I can do nothing but, ruin this life you gave me - I want to live your way."

I buried my face in my hands as every tear drop released me from the chains of sin and death. It was like God was wringing my pain out through my tears like water from a sponge.

At that moment I knew nothing. I knew something awesome just happened but I didn't understand it. I knew I needed to be in a church. I knew I wanted more of God.

I went to another church and began studying the bible. In fact this church turned out to be a cult and was more interested in my money and servitude to them then getting right with God. They used scriptures to manipulate me into submitting to them. THey held baptism over my head until I would comply with them. All the while my conscience was screaming at me to protect myself. So, I read the bible on my own time. I read it in full in 3 months and it confirmed many things to me. It explained everything that I needed to know. I argued and debated with the church leaders about their rules until I was eventually asked to leave. Which I did.

I was so demoralized by that experience that I wanted nothing to do with God. So I started smoking pot again. I fell back into a recluse lifestlye and just wanted to erase the whole thing from my mind by just smoking my brains out. All was good - for a while. I was having a good time not worrying about a thing until the dark thoughts and depression came. I was removed from God as I relived my life of sin.

I sat at the edge of my bed with my Glock 22 in hand. I unloaded it and cocked it. I held it to my temple and sat there slowly squeezing the trigger. I was stoned and numb and there was a loud silence. Not a stir, not a sound but hearing my finger squeaking on the trigger as it eventually reased the fireing pin into an empty chamber.

It was the loudest sound I have ever heard in my life. It was the most scared I had ever been in my life. I was able to dry fire my pistol into my temple. At that moment of dispare, once again I felt that warm embrace around my spirit.

Enough, is enough is what was left on my mind. That was the last time I smoked pot but it was not the end of my battle.

God once again pulled me out of the fire and gave me another chance. I surrendered to Him again and moved out of that apartment into a friends house and grew spiritualy. Since then I was baptized on February 10 2002 and found a true bible following church.

I got married that summer to my wife and moved into a new house last year. We had a son last May but, 6 days after he was born my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. She just finshed 4 months of intense chemotherapy had her breast removed. She has no hair anywhere. No eyebrows, eyelashes, nose hair nothing. She is bald and her fingernails are falling out. She has to go back to do 2 more months of chemotherapy.

Through all of this I fought with God, I hated the situation, I was confused and angry as why God let this happen to us. But, I have learned my many lessons. Be patient is the word given to me. Time will reveal all answers to all our questions.

I love God and I thank Him for Jesus as often as I can. Without Him I would not be here. Without Him I could not withstand this life alone. There is much more to this story of mine but I can't begin to explain half of the things I've been through in this forum. I am not even scratching the surface.

I can not explain how profound of an experience it was when He revealed Himself to me but I hope you see my struggles and see the victory I found in Christ Jesus.

Thank you for reading and God Bless~

[This message has been edited by Sig_Intel (edited 11-02-2005).]

I have my own stories as well, but if I had to go through all that I would be mad at God (if I believed in Him, that is).

Anyway all that shit sucks, but I'm glad you've found some source of peace in your life.

Stay strong, and remember: Your God loves you.

Bravo, brother. Bravo.

Keep fighting the good fight.

I wanna like you. I do.

But for some reason you just seem like a moron to me.

Hopefully, you'll still have the sanity and mental clarity to tolerate the absurdly infantile and borderline-insane comments and topics here on Totse.

But, at any rate, that's quite a spiritual journey you've told. Hopefully, your path and moment will work towards the greatest of ends.

My sincerest condolences for your tragic losses, and a toast towards the continued spiritual wealth and serenity along your road.

quote:Originally posted by Tyrant:

Hopefully, you'll still have the sanity and mental clarity to tolerate the absurdly infantile and borderline-insane comments and topics here on Totse.

But, at any rate, that's quite a spiritual journey you've told. Hopefully, your path and moment will work towards the greatest of ends.

My sincerest condolences for your tragic losses, and a toast towards the continued spiritual wealth and serenity along your road.

Thankyou and yes my mind has never been more clear nor have ever been more sane. I have never been more at peace or have had more joy then I do now that I was released from that old life.

I did visit this site a while back and thought there was no point to posting here. But, I have a debt to pay. My freedom isn't free. I was purchased on a cross. For that act I have a new purpose in life that comes with this new life. So I'm back again and I just shared with all of you who read my story, some of the things I have been challenged with.

If you believe I'm a moron, ignorant, troubled or anything else along those lines then you aren't paying close enough attention. I'm not here to make you like me but only to leave a message for you to accept or reject.

Don't worry though I won't be here for long most likely. I'm here for somebody I don't know or will never know but, I have been sent for them. They will read some of the things I wrote and it will eventually lead them to accept Jesus sometime in their life. That is how it works. I've seen it many times now and it is a miracle that most in here do not understand.

I'm going to tell you about the Kingdom of God and Jesus who is the Christ. I'm going to tell you how He saves wrecked lives and sets hearts on fire with true love. I'm going to tell you a way out from the curse of death and spiritual darkness in this fallen world.

This is a good example of how people come to make gods up. You're feeling low, you can't deal with it youreself, the only impetus you have is if something else is there to support you, guide you, and provide you with a purpose. So you turn to God, you don't care about whether it makes sense or not, he is there as far as you're concerned because you can't get through this alone.

Coward. Yeah, all of that really sucks. I feel sorry for what you had to endure. But the only thing that could help you was the thought that a mythic, omnipotent being would make everything better?

They say God helps those who help themselves. Cut out the middleman, and stand on your own.

quote:Originally posted by sp0rkius:

This is a good example of how people come to make gods up. You're feeling low, you can't deal with it youreself, the only impetus you have is if something else is there to support you, guide you, and provide you with a purpose. So you turn to God, you don't care about whether it makes sense or not, he is there as far as you're concerned because you can't get through this alone.

I didn't make any of it up and it makes perfect sense to me. It was much more then a thought and has been much more then a feeling. I do pray that all things in your life that you pin your hopes on are not all stripped away from you and leave you broken and bare like I was. I do hope that one day somebody doesn't try to take those things from your embrace with the hopes of leaving you hopeless. I want you to be aware that is exactly what you are trying to do to me with your words.

I do not wish for anybody to be in the place I had to be taken in order for me to lose my stubborness enough to turn an eye towards God.

At that time, I lived in a garage and had very little. Today, by the grace of God and His redeaming Spirit I own a 2800 sq. foot home, have a loveing family and no longer contend with the likes of depression or a darkened spirit. I am at peace with the life I have been given and I know where I've been. I hope you understand that your words will not 'enlighten' me to go back to that old way of life.

You can try to explain it all away however you may wish but I testify that God is real and alive.



[This message has been edited by Sig_Intel (edited 11-03-2005).]

quote:Originally posted by SurahAhriman:



They say God helps those who help themselves. Cut out the middleman, and stand on your own.



I already tried standing on my own and I shipwrecked my life. I chose a better way.

quote:Originally posted by Sig_Intel:



I already tried standing on my own and I shipwrecked my life. I chose a better way.



I guess if it works for you, then go for it. Personally, I'd still rather fail on my own.

quote:Originally posted by SurahAhriman:

I guess if it works for you, then go for it. Personally, I'd still rather fail on my own.

I would like to spare you from that fate but, you would not listen to my warning anyway. So it is with most eyes who read these words. Don't you fear that your very heart may stop beating? Or that you may not be able to draw in another breath of air?

The simple things in life we take for granted are gifts we readily accept from a hand we do not see.

quote:Originally posted by Sig_Intel:

I would like to spare you from that fate but, you would not listen to my warning anyway. So it is with most eyes who read these words. Don't you fear that your very heart may stop beating? Or that you may not be able to draw in another breath of air?

The simple things in life we take for granted are gifts we readily accept from a hand we do not see.



You call that hand God. I call it primordial ooze and my mother.

I wouldn't blame god for your wifes breast cancer.

If your God causes everything, then he caused your pain. Think about it.

quote:Originally posted by Lou Reed:

I wouldn't blame god for your wifes breast cancer.



I never have nor ever will. My issue was why did it happen when it did? or why did it happen at all?

The answers came when I was able to listen. If she didn't have our son, the cancer would have gone undetected and would have killed her. So why cancer? unknown anomoly at this point but I'm sure in time it will be answered as well. It is a puzzle that I don't have a solution for so I give it to God.

Credo quia absurdum.

quote:Originally posted by Sig_Intel:

I never have nor ever will. My issue was why did it happen when it did? or why did it happen at all?

The answers came when I was able to listen. If she didn't have our son, the cancer would have gone undetected and would have killed her. So why cancer? unknown anomoly at this point but I'm sure in time it will be answered as well. It is a puzzle that I don't have a solution for so I give it to God.



...rather than actually thinking about it.

quote:Originally posted by crazed_hamster:

If your God causes everything, then he caused your pain. Think about it.

God created all things as well as free will. The difference between creating the potential for pain and causing pain are two seperate things.

The rest you would consider lore so I doubt talking about how we were intended to be created as pure beings without error or fault would make any differnce. However, it was the fall of manking in the garden of Eden that created sin and death and all things painful.

I don't blame God for my pain but the fallen nature of mankind due to the temptations of the flesh.

It is my experience that God has held me up, healed me, corrected me, dusted me off and set me straight. He sustains me and gives me life so to accuse Him of causing my pain would not match His character in our relationship.

quote:Originally posted by literary syphilis:

Credo quia absurdum.

Not absurd but abstract. To see spiritual things you need spiritual eyes.

quote:Originally posted by SurahAhriman:

...rather than actually thinking about it.



I dwelled on it for months - if you can answer the question then it would be a great help.

Otherwise, I must let it go or it will ruin me in time. With God, I have a place to put those things. Without Him I carry it. It isn't until I give it to God until I realize how heavy life is.

Nice post. I'm happy for you and I hope your wife gets well.

quote:Originally posted by Sig_Intel:

Not absurd but abstract. To see spiritual things you need spiritual eyes.

Or a lot of mescaline.

quote:I want you to be aware that is exactly what you are trying to do to me with your words.

All I'm saying is, you got your self-respect back through inventing a deity, I've been this low before and I got my self-respect back through absolute nihilism mixed with my natural instinct to stay alive and get through whatever shit life throws at me. Whatever works for you!

In fact, maybe belief in God and "my natural instinct to stay alive and get through whatever shit life throws at me" are not too dissimilar - maybe this is one of the reasons humans have a tendancy toward spirituality of various kinds... it keeps them going.

[This message has been edited by sp0rkius (edited 11-06-2005).]

quote:Originally posted by sp0rkius:

All I'm saying is, you got your self-respect back through inventing a deity, I've been this low before and I got my self-respect back through absolute nihilism mixed with my natural instinct to stay alive and get through whatever shit life throws at me. Whatever works for you!

In fact, maybe belief in God and "my natural instinct to stay alive and get through whatever shit life throws at me" are not too dissimilar - maybe this is one of the reasons humans have a tendancy toward spirituality of various kinds... it keeps them going.



I understand and maybe I was a little harsh. I apologize and thank you for opening up a little. I'll be honest and say I was unsure about posting what I posted. I wasn't sure how it would be treated.

All I can say is I have been to the very bottom while grasping the very last thread of any reason for my purpose here.

I felt that this world is hopeless and pointless. When the "lights came on" I found hope through faith in God's promise to us. I hope you see that if it were possible for me to lose that hope it would be my death warrant.

I can't claim that I got back up by my own strength or ability because I know I had nothing left in me. Like I said before, this is where I had to be, because of my stubborness, it was the only way I would turn an eye towards God.

quote:Originally posted by Sig_Intel:

it was the fall of manking in the garden of Eden that created sin and death and all things painful.



This is what I believe to be

the central myth of judaism.

It is the bullshit you need

to believe to explain why

the world is not perfect.

BTW, you don't live forever.

The pain all ends someday.

quote:Originally posted by Sig_Intel:

I understand and maybe I was a little harsh. I apologize and thank you for opening up a little. I'll be honest and say I was unsure about posting what I posted. I wasn't sure how it would be treated.

All I can say is I have been to the very bottom while grasping the very last thread of any reason for my purpose here.

I felt that this world is hopeless and pointless. When the "lights came on" I found hope through faith in God's promise to us. I hope you see that if it were possible for me to lose that hope it would be my death warrant.

I can't claim that I got back up by my own strength or ability because I know I had nothing left in me. Like I said before, this is where I had to be, because of my stubborness, it was the only way I would turn an eye towards God.

Haha, don't worry about it, I was pretty arrogant about your beliefs, as I always am. I just figure, it's usually considered a good thing if people enthusiastically question your thinking in any other field, why can't I do it in theology? In real life I tend to find myself saying things like "not that I'm trying to belittle your beliefs" as a sort of suffix though, because it's easier to be a bastard over the internet http://www.totse.com/bbs/tongue.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/tongue.gif).

quote:Originally posted by Sig_Intel:

My name is Aaron. I was born in 1971 on a Army base in Alabama to my mother and father. I am their second son. I want to tell you a condensed version of what happened in my life that lead me to accept Jesus. Please read on ~

By the time I was 2 years old I had already been Germany and several US states. When I was five my mother divorced my father because he was not faithful to her. I never saw him again until I was 18 when I graduated from High school. After enduring sexual abuse from my brother, which was discovered from a learning disability, I became a nervous introvert. I grew up outside of Detroit Michigan because that is where we went after the divorce. It didn't help much because there was a time I was afraid of walking down the street. One day a car drove by with a guy sticking a gun out at me for no other reason then to scare me. It worked.

It was not an easy life growing up in that area. Nothing was expected from us other then either working in the factories or joining the military. It was a true blue collar, union, blood, sweet and tears town.

I started smoking cigarettes when I was 11 years old. My mother used to send me up to the corner store to buy her cigarettes. Eventually I was buying my own. I was up to a pack a day by the time I was twelve. Not to mention being drunk off of whiskey, smoked my first joint, took my first acid hit by the time I was 12. When I was 15 is when the drugs stopped. I told my friends girlfriend that he was using cocaine and I was kicked out of the click soon afterwards.

My mother remarried when I was 7 but they were both working full time and going to school at night. I really had no direction or parental oversight.

I joined the Marines when I was 17 and shipped off to serve in Desert Shield and Desert Storm in 1990-91 after boot camp. After traveling half-way around the world and back twice - I decided I had enough and got out. I moved to California with hopes to go to school and start a new life.

Not long after arriving here my mother committed suicide. She was in and out of the mental ward for a few years but she eventually gave in to it. It seems she could not heal from the emotional scars of watching her own father take his life with a deer rifle when she was a young teenager. He didn't want to live as a deaf man anymore they say. My grandparents are/were deaf.

After her death my strength and motivation diminished a little and I began to fall apart on the inside. Being by myself in California with no family support was difficult.

I went to a tech school and became a certified electronics technician - for what it's worth - but, got a job doing computer network support. After losing a long term girlfriend to my own infidelity and basic ugliness towards her I fell apart hard.

My entire life was pointless and worthless to me. Nothing was good, nothing was worth the effort, even taking the next breath drew more hatred for my own existence. I was an angry, bitter and tortured soul through my experiences.

When I was 11, a friend gave me a gold cross. It was the ugliest thing you ever saw. It was gold plated and a strange design. It had a blue opaque type rock thing in the middle. I kept it for whatever reasons. At that point in my life I pulled out that cross and held on to it as my heart ached with so much pain I could not tolerate it. I didn't know what I was doing but I knew I needed to hang onto that cross. For over two weeks I was in agonizing heart break and it was getting worse by the day.

I started to remember a friend in the Marines who shared His faith with me about Jesus Christ. I remembered going to church as a little kid and being put in the Sunday school class. All of those things meant nothing to me until this moment.

It was the moment I will never forget. In an instant I felt a great burdon removed from me. All the pain and aches in my heart left as I felt in my spirit a warm embrace. I never heard a voice nor did I ever see a form or figure but, at that moment I knew I would never have to worry about being loved again. God revealed himself to me for the first time.

I was amazed at this experience. I had no more tears, no more pain, no more anxiety, no more fears and I was able to go outside again. I found a friend who invited me to church and there I cried in front of everybody as a I said to God, "I can do nothing but, ruin this life you gave me - I want to live your way."

I buried my face in my hands as every tear drop released me from the chains of sin and death. It was like God was wringing my pain out through my tears like water from a sponge.

At that moment I knew nothing. I knew something awesome just happened but I didn't understand it. I knew I needed to be in a church. I knew I wanted more of God.

I went to another church and began studying the bible. In fact this church turned out to be a cult and was more interested in my money and servitude to them then getting right with God. They used scriptures to manipulate me into submitting to them. THey held baptism over my head until I would comply with them. All the while my conscience was screaming at me to protect myself. So, I read the bible on my own time. I read it in full in 3 months and it confirmed many things to me. It explained everything that I needed to know. I argued and debated with the church leaders about their rules until I was eventually asked to leave. Which I did.

I was so demoralized by that experience that I wanted nothing to do with God. So I started smoking pot again. I fell back into a recluse lifestlye and just wanted to erase the whole thing from my mind by just smoking my brains out. All was good - for a while. I was having a good time not worrying about a thing until the dark thoughts and depression came. I was removed from God as I relived my life of sin.

I sat at the edge of my bed with my Glock 22 in hand. I unloaded it and cocked it. I held it to my temple and sat there slowly squeezing the trigger. I was stoned and numb and there was a loud silence. Not a stir, not a sound but hearing my finger squeaking on the trigger as it eventually reased the fireing pin into an empty chamber.

It was the loudest sound I have ever heard in my life. It was the most scared I had ever been in my life. I was able to dry fire my pistol into my temple. At that moment of dispare, once again I felt that warm embrace around my spirit.

Enough, is enough is what was left on my mind. That was the last time I smoked pot but it was not the end of my battle.

God once again pulled me out of the fire and gave me another chance. I surrendered to Him again and moved out of that apartment into a friends house and grew spiritualy. Since then I was baptized on February 10 2002 and found a true bible following church.

I got married that summer to my wife and moved into a new house last year. We had a son last May but, 6 days after he was born my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. She just finshed 4 months of intense chemotherapy had her breast removed. She has no hair anywhere. No eyebrows, eyelashes, nose hair nothing. She is bald and her fingernails are falling out. She has to go back to do 2 more months of chemotherapy.

Through all of this I fought with God, I hated the situation, I was confused and angry as why God let this happen to us. But, I have learned my many lessons. Be patient is the word given to me. Time will reveal all answers to all our questions.

I love God and I thank Him for Jesus as often as I can. Without Him I would not be here. Without Him I could not withstand this life alone. There is much more to this story of mine but I can't begin to explain half of the things I've been through in this forum. I am not even scratching the surface.

I can not explain how profound of an experience it was when He revealed Himself to me but I hope you see my struggles and see the victory I found in Christ Jesus.

Thank you for reading and God Bless~



"Lets stop praying for somone to save us and save ourselves." -KMFDM

quote:Originally posted by Lou Reed:

I wouldn't blame god for your wifes breast cancer.





What i meant was,

that the true essence [holy spirit] of God is untouched by such things.......[diseases]

quote:Originally posted by Lou Reed:



What i meant was,

that the true essence [holy spirit] of God is untouched by such things.......[diseases]

"I believe it because it is absurd"

quote:Originally posted by sp0rkius:

Haha, don't worry about it, I was pretty arrogant about your beliefs, as I always am. I just figure, it's usually considered a good thing if people enthusiastically question your thinking in any other field, why can't I do it in theology? In real life I tend to find myself saying things like "not that I'm trying to belittle your beliefs" as a sort of suffix though, because it's easier to be a bastard over the internet http://www.totse.com/bbs/tongue.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/tongue.gif).

I always find this saying to be very true for every single one of us. It's kind of a natural reaction almost.



"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

If I tell you that you are wrong, it is certain that you will be more then happy to tell me the same.

quote:Originally posted by sp0rkius:

This is a good example of how people come to make gods up. You're feeling low, you can't deal with it youreself, the only impetus you have is if something else is there to support you, guide you, and provide you with a purpose. So you turn to God, you don't care about whether it makes sense or not, he is there as far as you're concerned because you can't get through this alone.



It is only when you are broken and at the end of [yourself] that you can see God clearly.

Atheist's attribute this to weakness, but for the man who thinks that being selfless is weak, I tell you that you have a long life of pain and suffering ahead of you.

When you stop thinking of yourself, you can understand the prupose of God.

This is why it is typical for young, virile men to think they do not need God.

THEY ARE INVINCIBLE !!!

I'm glad it works out for you, though it is not the same for all people. That warm embrace reaches others from a different source, not necessarily the god depicted in the bible, or a god at all.

Sidenote: Perfect Imperfection is something to investigate.

It's very encouraging that through all of this, since you've given your life to him, You've remained faithful to him. God would like to show you so many things, just allow him to show these things to you. God knows the plans he has for you, Brother. Seek him and keep seeking, He'll reveal them to you, and walk with you every step of the way. He'll never leave you alone.

quote:Originally posted by HellzShellz:

It's very encouraging that through all of this, since you've given your life to him, You've remained faithful to him. God would like to show you so many things, just allow him to show these things to you. God knows the plans he has for you, Brother. Seek him and keep seeking, He'll reveal them to you, and walk with you every step of the way. He'll never leave you alone.



Thank you for your kind words. I will not say I have been a model son through all of this but I never lost site of God. I just became more afraid of being thrown back into the world without Him.

What a dreadful thought to have the chains and shackles of sin and death put back on your ankles while waiting for your condemnation. Espcially after you are given full knowledge of the purpose of life and how this life is going to play out.

When I mess up...I come running back as fast as I can!

God Bless~

quote:Originally posted by sp0rkius:

This is a good example of how people come to make gods up. You're feeling low, you can't deal with it youreself, the only impetus you have is if something else is there to support you, guide you, and provide you with a purpose. So you turn to God, you don't care about whether it makes sense or not, he is there as far as you're concerned because you can't get through this alone.

Quoted for truth and emphasis

quote:Originally posted by Sig_Intel:



Thank you for your kind words. I will not say I have been a model son through all of this but I never lost site of God. I just became more afraid of being thrown back into the world without Him.

What a dreadful thought to have the chains and shackles of sin and death put back on your ankles while waiting for your condemnation. Espcially after you are given full knowledge of the purpose of life and how this life is going to play out.

When I mess up...I come running back as fast as I can!

God Bless~

Brother, We all have that fear. I think it's an understandable fear, a fear that Solomon should have had, huh?

I still dont understand what makes people so afraid of dieing. And wouldnt you rather be with god then just thinking hes there.

Put it this way. If your so shore that god exists then why not just die and be with him? Why bother with life. Heaven would be so much better, wouldnt it?

quote:Originally posted by Fai1safe:

I still dont understand what makes people so afraid of dieing. And wouldnt you rather be with god then just thinking hes there.

Put it this way. If your so shore that god exists then why not just die and be with him? Why bother with life. Heaven would be so much better, wouldnt it?

I will WILLINGLY die doing what God told me to do, but I don't want to die, doing what he told me not to do. I'd stand before millions preaching the gospel if only to be killed. It IS a favor, but I want to run my race, I want to please my Father. God is never disappointed in me, because He knows what I'm going to do before I do it, and I want to please him, because he loves me so. Try to understand, We're Christians, we live and die for God, but we also have temptations, and one open window is all it takes for the devil to take you out of this world.

quote:Originally posted by Fai1safe:

I still dont understand what makes people so afraid of dieing. And wouldnt you rather be with god then just thinking hes there.

Put it this way. If your so shore that god exists then why not just die and be with him? Why bother with life. Heaven would be so much better, wouldnt it?

No need to. God is here and now. He is with us always. There is a purpose to all of this> The first is the great commission. To preach the gospel to the world. Evagalism is like a fishing net swallowing up souls for heaven. We are charged with this task and that is our purpose and reason why we are still here.

As for dieing, the promise is life not death. The born again Christian has already died their first death and will not taste the second death (lake o' fire).

This means when someone comes to faith, they must die to their old ways and become a new creation. This is not something we can do by our own will. I would not be saying these things if I have not gone through it myself. I'm not a believer because it sounded cool. I have very profound experiences daily and I have seen to much and know to much to deny it any longer. Jesus saves!

God truley sets us apart and gives us a new heart and new mind. He washes us clean and sets us straight. This transfiguration ensures eternal fellowship in Heaven. It is His word and I trust it.



If a person never experiences this then they will experience the first death of the body. (the pine box)(to the Christian the death of the body is the second death) They will stand before the judgement seat and by their life they will be judged and be held accountable. The second death is the lake of fire.

In essence God sez..pay me now or pay me later!

There you have it..a mini sermon on life and death of a human per se Christianity.

Do you want to know more?





[This message has been edited by Sig_Intel (edited 11-09-2005).]