All right. Heres the deal:

The Great Holy Peanut Tree of Life sprouted a society of peanuts. This tree was named Ndnd, and was worshipped as the great giver of life. This peanut society was a heavenly society, free of crime and poverty on the planet Nibiru, now known as Earth. The peanut society, known as the Nibirunians, had much power of controlling energy. This manipulation of energy allowed them to perform many magical feats. The world was full of magic and adventure.

One day, an intergalactic group of martians had left scriptures to the Nibirunians explaining that they could band together their magical energy to produce us humans in our form, to conquer over the land's massive animal population, which at that time dominated the world over the peanuts.

The Nibirunians gathered around Ndnd, the Great Holy Peanut Tree of Life, and banded together their spiritual energy using the sacred scriptures. This sprouted many men and women from the tree. However, the band of their power was so great, that the peanut society and the peanut tree had no power left to sustain themselves, and Ndnd exploded into many fragments. These fragments spread all around Nibiru and sprouted what is now known as the peanut shrubs.

These peanut shrubs are very sacred. The peanut society sacrificed themselves so we could dominate this land.

We have a small group of true believers. Clerics, ministers, priests, call them what you will. They are the leaders of this faith.

XiPPiLLi

kAtE-

Freakangel

Yossarian

Kai

I now ask you all to join the church of Peanutology to find joy and happiness in worshipping the peanuts that so courageously banded to create humans.

Open your hearts and allow the spirit of Ndnd to give you joy and happiness.

k

Look, the atheist changed her mind. lawl.

And if you don't like peaut butter GTFO.

Also, if you're allergic to peanuts your sins were not paid for and you should GTFO.

quote:Originally posted by XiPPiLLi:

All right. Heres the deal:

The Great Holy Peanut Tree of Life sprouted a society of peanuts. This tree was named Ndnd, and was worshipped as the great giver of life. This peanut society was a heavenly society, free of crime and poverty on the planet Nibiru, now known as Earth. The peanut society, known as the Nibirunians, had much power of controlling energy. This manipulation of energy allowed them to perform many magical feats. The world was full of magic and adventure.

One day, an intergalactic group of martians had left scriptures to the Nibirunians explaining that they could band together their magical energy to produce us humans in our form, to conquer over the land's massive animal population, which at that time dominated the world over the peanuts.

The Nibirunians gathered around Ndnd, the Great Holy Peanut Tree of Life, and banded together their spiritual energy using the sacred scriptures. This sprouted many men and women from the tree. However, the band of their power was so great, that the peanut society and the peanut tree had no power left to sustain themselves, and Ndnd exploded into many fragments. These fragments spread all around Nibiru and sprouted what is now known as the peanut shrubs.

These peanut shrubs are very sacred. The peanut society sacrificed themselves so we could dominate this land.

We have a small group of true believers. Clerics, ministers, priests, call them what you will. They are the leaders of this faith.

XiPPiLLi

kAtE-

Freakangel

Yossarian

Kai

I now ask you all to join the church of Peanutology to find joy and happiness in worshipping the peanuts that so courageously banded to create humans.

Open your hearts and allow the spirit of Ndnd to give you joy and happiness.

I'm allergic to peanuts, I think Prizism was a little easier to buy into.

Those allergic to Peanuts are damned by Ndnd. The faith has cursed their soul.

I'm sorry, but they are truly one of the damned, and there is nothing that can help them.

Yes!

Let the energy of Ndnd flow through your body and It's wisdom course through your veins!

Open your hearts to it's wisdom and it will give you joy and happiness as I have found and as have my brethren!



[This message has been edited by Yossarian (edited 08-14-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Yossarian:

Yes!

Let the energy of Mndn flow through your body and It's wisdom course through your veins!

Open your hearts to it's wisdom and it will give you joy and happiness as I have found and as have my brethren!

Dude you can't even spell the name of the holy tree. OUT!

RIGHT, HERES THE DEAL. NO1 CARES ABOUT PEANUTS, AND CONSIDERING THAT I AM ALLERGIC TO THEM, I FIND THIS OFFENSIVE. I WOULD LIKE AN APPOLOGY PLEASE, WRITTEN OUT TO FULLCIRCLE, AND TO CALL FULL CIRCLE A COCK

quote:Originally posted by Meeee:

RIGHT, HERES THE DEAL. NO1 CARES ABOUT PEANUTS, AND CONSIDERING THAT I AM ALLERGIC TO THEM, I FIND THIS OFFENSIVE. I WOULD LIKE AN APPOLOGY PLEASE, WRITTEN OUT TO FULLCIRCLE, AND TO CALL FULL CIRCLE A COCK

Those allergic to peanuts are truly the damned. I'm sorry, but theres nothing that can help you aside from a blessing from the church.

You will only obtain this blessing from the church of peanutology if you offer some sort gift to Ndnd in the form of MONEY.

[This message has been edited by freakangel (edited 08-14-2006).]

I am a man of the faith

(seeking a female of the faith for long walks on the beach)

All you need is a spoon and faith http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)

ALL YOU NEED IS A SPOON TO EAT MY ARSE

AND I AINT OFFERING NO PEANUT STUFF, YOU CAN SUCK MY PEANUT ALLERGIC BALLS

You're just jaded because you have no faith, or spoons.

quote:Originally posted by freakangel:

You're just jaded because you have no faith, or spoons.



I DO HAVE SPOONS DARLING, BUT I DON'T HAVE FAITH IN PEANUTS. THYE BETRAYED ME BEFORE AND I CANNOT TRUST THEM AGAIN

Mmmmm.... peanut butter.....

NO, IT CONTAINS PEANUTS STIL, OR TRACES OF, GOOD GUESS MY SON

What kind of peanuts?

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

What kind of peanuts?

Holy peanuts.

EVERY KIND OF PEANUT, YOU SEE I CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE A BIT OF A PEANUT MYSELF

quote:Originally posted by Meeee:



I DO HAVE SPOONS DARLING, BUT I DON'T HAVE FAITH IN PEANUTS. THYE BETRAYED ME BEFORE AND I CANNOT TRUST THEM AGAIN

Hey now, you were the one who came home with hazelnut breath.

NO IT WASNT HAZELNUT.

UR MUMS PUSSY TASTES LIKE HASELNUT, BUT SMELLS LIKE A DOCK

quote:Originally posted by Meeee:

NO IT WASNT HAZELNUT.

UR MUMS PUSSY TASTES LIKE HASELNUT, BUT SMELLS LIKE A DOCK

The legal team of Peanutology asks you to cease and desist!

Sounds like scientology.

As a whole, followers of the faith of Peanutology are called "nutters."

Just FYI, I mumbled that very phrase to myself before Fate typed it.

I'll join if I get beer with me nuts!

stay bad

~stormy

mmm peanuts, are they Honey Roasted Planters?

quote:Originally posted by bushy:

mmm peanuts, are they Honey Roasted Planters?

Holy nuts not good enough for you? jeeeez

Sorry to spoil your fun folks, but peanuts don't grow on trees.

quote:Originally posted by truckfixr:

Sorry to spoil your fun folks, but peanuts don't grow on trees.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HHAHAHH boom.

I'm not included....

I am hurt Xip...very very deeply hurt.

The peanut isn't even TECHNICALLY(as in the biological sense) a fucking nut, people.

"Although a nut in the culinary sense, in the botanical sense the fruit of the peanut is a woody, indehiscent legume or pod and not technically a nut."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peanut

quote:Originally posted by Zinkovich:

The peanut isn't even TECHNICALLY(as in the biological sense) a fucking nut, people.

"Although a nut in the culinary sense, in the botanical sense the fruit of the peanut is a woody, indehiscent legume or pod and not technically a nut."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peanut



Blasphemer!

Great, don't think I haven't noticed your almost instantaneous attempt to bring "Nomenclature Inference" thoeries into science classrooms. Quite frankly I find the reasoning quite lacking. We should start classifying things based off of the words in their names, just because these "nomenclative coincidences" couldn't have possibly been mistakenly added? Ridiculous!

quote:Originally posted by Zinkovich:

The peanut isn't even TECHNICALLY(as in the biological sense) a fucking nut, people.

"Although a nut in the culinary sense, in the botanical sense the fruit of the peanut is a woody, indehiscent legume or pod and not technically a nut."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peanut



Like wikipedia is some sacred, infallible website that descended from the heavens. Fuck wikipedia.

The actual peanuts on a plant grow underground and the plant could hardly be described as a shrub.

Edit: INB4LOKLOL!

[This message has been edited by niggersexual (edited 08-15-2006).]

Peanuts bless us all. For we are not worthy.

*nails 52 essays to the door of the nearest Peanutology church*

I hereby consummate the closely related-but different, religion of Cashewism!!!!

Hey freakangel:

"Before discussing peanut cultivars, it is important to know how peanuts are classified. Peanuts are a legume; in other words, they have a symbiotic relationship with specific Rhizobium bacteria that help them fix, or produce, their own nitrogen. The scientific name of peanut is Arachis hypogaea L., and it is a self-pollinated plant species."

http://tinyurl.com/nmwnv

Happy now? Peanuts are a legume, and not a nut. Get over it.

Maybe this is a valid basis for a new religion... It is already causing people to argue.

Strange my nickname in school was peanut, I found it rather offencive at the time. However now that I have discovered my true heritage as a "holy one", I will allow you to bow down before me and worship me.

quote:Originally posted by Zinkovich:

Hey freakangel:

"Before discussing peanut cultivars, it is important to know how peanuts are classified. Peanuts are a legume; in other words, they have a symbiotic relationship with specific Rhizobium bacteria that help them fix, or produce, their own nitrogen. The scientific name of peanut is Arachis hypogaea L., and it is a self-pollinated plant species."

http://tinyurl.com/nmwnv

Happy now? Peanuts are a legume, and not a nut. Get over it.

Yeah it's on the internet there for it must be true. *rolls eyes*

you're a nut.

Yeah, everyone knows that agriculturally reknowned colleges are full of bullshit when it comes to crops and just will post any old shmuck's paper on thier offilicial website without checking for accuracy http://www.totse.com/bbs/rolleyes.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/rolleyes.gif)

Also: "therefore", dumbass. "There for" is used to state something is someplace for a purpose rather than a conclusion to a logical progression. Haven't you ever taken a fucking fourth grade grammar class?

[This message has been edited by Zinkovich (edited 08-16-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Zinkovich:



Also: "therefore", dumbass. "There for" is used to state something is someplace for a purpose rather than a conclusion to a logical progression. Haven't you ever taken a fucking fourth grade grammar class?



Hey jackass, guess what? English isn't even my first language.

I'd like to see you do as well as i do with English, German, Spanish and Dutch.

Without getting 3 of the 4 taught to you in school.

I wanted to type 'therefore' but i wasn't sure.

So cut me some fucking slack, ok faggot?

Oh, and for fuck's sake google 'sarcasm' you humorless dolt.



[This message has been edited by freakangel (edited 08-16-2006).]

Zinkovich, does the idea of Peanutology offend you or something? Gosh, we're trying to have a good time here and you come by and start spitting shit at everyone.

Meh, condradicting religions are normal.

George Washington Carver is a prophet/saint for having revealed the majesty of the aforementioned sacred legume.

Peanutology pisses me off because it contradicts all the known facts of agricultural science.

(I was kidding around too. I guess my satirization of the vehemence of the usual religious flamewar became too realistic for you guy's taste. You know, petty ad homs and all that jazz. Seriously, though, you thought I was serious with my "Nomenclative Inference" post?

Sorry if I offended you freakangel. Next time I will try to be less convincing in character and fanatical vehemence http://www.totse.com/bbs/frown.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/frown.gif) )



[This message has been edited by Zinkovich (edited 08-16-2006).]

You guys should declare Argentina to be your holy land and try fighting over the country IMO.

"Anybody want a peanut?"

-Fezzik (Princess Bride, 1987)

Why is this thread still here?

Oh wait, xippilli is a mod. That explains it.

quote:Originally posted by ---Beany---:

Why is this thread still here?

Oh wait, xippilli is a mod. That explains it.

Why is there still a bible in every motel?

quote:Originally posted by freakangel:

Why is there still a bible in every motel?

They give peanuts on just about all major airliners.

It shows the influence of Peanutology.

Don't forget the bars.

peanutology is slowly taking over.

you don't see bibles in bars.

peanutology 1 - * 0

Also dont forget, LostCause is a faithful Peanutologist. http://www.totse.com/bbs/wink.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/wink.gif)

Peanuts are an instrument of evil. Watch superman 3 :P

So is Mr. Peanut the anti-christ? Because he seems legit at first, what with his monocle and everything, but many peanuts have been slaughtered in his name. Instead of going to grow new peanut plants, they were roasted, salted, and gobbled up by humans. Damn this instigator of the Peanut Holocaust!

Or is eating peanuts a good thing in your religion?

I'll join if I can be an Archbishop.

Eating peanuts is good. A natural source of life energy is what has become of them in sacrifice to bringing us.

Its what they wanted.

For those allergic, their bodies do not accept the life energy. They are truly the damned.

Alright, thanks for clearing that up XiPPiLLi.

So is Mr. Peanut a holy figure of some sort? Also, what is the history behind the split between the Crunchy Peanut Butter Sect and the Order of the Creamy Peanut Butter?

Mod or not she's retarded, and she's a troll.

[This message has been edited by jca2006 (edited 08-19-2006).]

Lol I read the first 3 lines and made no since of it. Your bout the dumbest bitch I Have ever seen

quote:Originally posted by SykoRob2005:

Lol I read the first 3 lines and made no since of it. Your bout the dumbest bitch I Have ever seen

FTW!

Sorry but the flying spaghetti monster is funnier and makes more sense: http://www.venganza.org/

You will all bow down and praise his noodly appendages.

The flying spaghetti monster is a false deity. Don't be fooled by his noodly appendage.

Where is your holy city?

I thought I was alone in the world, then I come to discover this thread with others like myself.

All my life I've loved peanuts and everything associated of them. I went through a phase during childhood where I'd dress up like the Planter's Peanut for days at a time. Many psychiatrists evaluated me and told my parents it was a phase I'd soon grow out of, but they were wrong...

Praise Ndnd and the Nibirunians for giving us the priceless gift of life!