Just a question,

Im a muslim girl, and i have only had one past relationship, for 3.5 years.. it was a really great relationship but we seperated because of family etc, because of racial problems.. we are both slavic background but theres alot of racism involved with our cultures and it wore out our happiness i guess.

I was talking to my friends, and they said to me that its wrong i reject guys because they are not muslim, or dont take them "seriously" as relationship material... their opinion is i cant choose who i am with by faith, i should let it come itself.

I want to marry somebody with the same faith, i dont think i could be with a orthodox or christian man.. i dont want my children to be confused ( i want my children to be muslim) , is there something wrong with that?

because i didnt think there was...

any views are appreciated

It should be up to you who you end up with.

If there's an issue with some person, who are we to say you should look past it if it is so important to you?

The problem is that Islam, like all other theistic religions, is utter crap.

Having said that, if you are a strict Muslim then no doubt it will be a big part of your life, and a big part of the lives of any children you may want. This simply wouldn't be possible if you were to marry someone as devoutly atheist as me.

It doesn't make you a bad person to desire a partner of the same faith. Rejection on race is a bad thing, but not on a person's beliefs.

If you both want to raise children in completely different ways, would a relationship have a future?

I think like anything, it could work if you were both open to compromise in your beliefs, but you aren't likely to do that with your religion.

quote:Originally posted by PerpetualBurn:

The problem is that Islam, like all other theistic religions, is utter crap.

Having said that, if you are a strict Muslim then no doubt it will be a big part of your life, and a big part of the lives of any children you may want. This simply wouldn't be possible if you were to marry someone as devoutly atheist as me.

It doesn't make you a bad person to desire a partner of the same faith. Rejection on race is a bad thing, but not on a person's beliefs.

If you both want to raise children in completely different ways, would a relationship have a future?

I think like anything, it could work if you were both open to compromise in your beliefs, but you aren't likely to do that with your religion.

Thats what i think, and i agree.. i dont think i couldnt have a normal relationship otherwise.. thanks for the opinion.. and you too Merlinman http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/smile.gif)

..I dont want to form a relationship unless its long term, and i dont want to marry into something i dont feel and have faith in.. i know its hard for children because both my parents were different religion and maybe thats why i feel that way.

A Muslim can only Marry a Muslim and is to remain Chaste until Married. Furthermore a Muslim should marry one other who is Single and Virtuous, a Good Muslim.

A Muslim is someone who Surrenders to God in the Religion of Islam which means Submission. Many people claim to be Muslims but do not follow the Religion as clearified and repeated in the Qur'an.

In order to be a Muslim one must believe in the One God, The Most Powerful, All Encompassing, The Day of Ressurection/Judgement, All the Prophets making no distinction between them, All the Books (Scrolls of Ibrahim, Zabur of Dawud, Taurauth of Musa, Injeel of Isa, Qur'an of Mu'Ahmed) establish regular worship as prescribed in the Qur'an at the 5 times of the day (Before Sunrise, Noon, Afternoon, After Sunset, Night), and do Good for yourself and others (including fasting and charity as prescribed), avoiding evil and what the Qur'an has forbidden (including intoxicants and pork, adultry and disobeying the revelations)

If you do all of the above you should qualify as a Muslim. Some people believe all it takes to be a Muslim is stating the Shahadah, That there is no God but God and Muhammed is God's Prophet. Stating the Shahadah actually means nothing and the Qur'an clearifies this, that testifying with oaths of one's belief do not mean anything but one must live as a Muslim and continue living as a Muslim, following the Qur'an.

The Jews and the Christians who state Muhammed is not the Prophet or that the Qur'an is not the book of God or do not follow it are disbelievers and are not lawful to marry or even have close relationships with.

005.051

O ye who believe! take not the Jews and the Christians for your friends and protectors: They are but friends and protectors to each other. And he amongst you that turns to them (for friendship) is of them. Verily Allah guideth not a people unjust.

004.150

Those who disbelieve in Allah and His messengers, and seek to make distinction between Allah and His messengers, and say: We believe in some and disbelieve in others, and seek to choose a way in between;

004.151

They are in truth unbelievers; and we have prepared for unbelievers a humiliating punishment.

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And do not marry the idolatresses until they believe, and certainly a believing maid is better than an idolatress woman, even though she should please you; and do not give in marriage to idolaters until they believe, and certainly a believing servant is better than an idolater, even though he should please you; these invite to the fire, and Allah invites to the garden and to forgiveness by His will, and makes clear His communications to men, that they may be mindful.

060.010

O ye who believe! When there come to you believing women refugees, examine them: Allah knows best as to their Faith: if ye ascertain that they are Believers, then send them not back to the Unbelievers. They are not lawful for the Unbelievers, nor are they lawful for them. But pay the Unbelievers what they have spent, and there will be no blame on you if ye marry them on payment of their dower to them. But hold not to the guardianship of unbelieving women: ask for what ye have spent on their dowers, and let the ask for what they have spent. Such is the command of Allah: He judges between you. And Allah is Full of Knowledge and Wisdom.

___________________________________________

Thus does Allah, Lord of the Worlds, Make his Revelations Clear.

quote:Originally posted by Abrahim:

005.051

O ye who believe! take not the Jews and the Christians for your friends and protectors: They are but friends and protectors to each other. And he amongst you that turns to them (for friendship) is of them. Verily Allah guideth not a people unjust.

Do you follow that? Do you have any friends who are Christian or Jewish?

quote:Originally posted by jsaxton14:

Do you follow that? Do you have any friends who are Christian or Jewish?

Perhaps people use the term friend too loosely.

ac·quain·tance ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-kwntns)

n.

Knowledge of a person acquired by a relationship less intimate than friendship.

A relationship based on such knowledge: struck up an acquaintance with our new neighbor.

A person whom one knows.

Knowledge or information about something or someone: has a passing acquaintance with Chinese history.

Is what I have with people, and what I consider them.

Now for the word history of the term Friend and how it differs from the above:

Word History: A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amcus “friend” and am “I love” is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos “friend” and phile “I love.” In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frond, the Old English word for “friend,” was simply the present participle of the verb fron, “to love.”

The Qur'an says Those who love the Disbelievers are Disbelievers:

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O ye who believe! Take not into your intimacy those outside your ranks: who would spare no pains to inflict loss upon you. They only desire your ruin: Rank hatred has already appeared from their mouths: What their hearts conceal is far worse. We have made plain to you the Signs, if ye have wisdom.

003.119

Ah! ye are those who love them, but they love you not,- though ye believe in the whole of the Book. When they meet you, they say, "We believe": But when they are alone, they bite off the very tips of their fingers at you in their rage. Say: "Perish in your rage; Allah knoweth well all the secrets of the heart."

A Friend should be, in my opinion, a status reserved to an intimate close relationship, Love. Love between Siblings, Love Between an Intimate Couple, and Love between the most trusted and loyal of people.

I place alot into the term Friend and thus I don't really call anyone my Friend, but rather, I use the more neutral term: acquaintance to imply I know the person.

quote:Originally posted by sailor_moon:

Just a question,

Im a muslim girl, and i have only had one past relationship, for 3.5 years.. it was a really great relationship but we seperated because of family etc, because of racial problems.. we are both slavic background but theres alot of racism involved with our cultures and it wore out our happiness i guess.

I was talking to my friends, and they said to me that its wrong i reject guys because they are not muslim, or dont take them "seriously" as relationship material... their opinion is i cant choose who i am with by faith, i should let it come itself.

I want to marry somebody with the same faith, i dont think i could be with a orthodox or christian man.. i dont want my children to be confused ( i want my children to be muslim) , is there something wrong with that?

because i didnt think there was...

any views are appreciated

There's nothing wrong with that.

It's someone you're going to spend the rest of your life with, do you really want to have contradicting views of faith?

It's fine to love people of other faiths, but marriage has to be enduring. It can't just be love, it also has to be a parternship. If your beliefs entail that anyone who believes something else besides what you believe, then do not put anyone through the misery of constantly being wrong.

I'm not sure I understand the racial problems if you're both Slavic. I am assuming you are both Bosnian, but correct me if I am wrong.

Other than that, I would just tell you to stick to Muslims. If you are a devout Muslim, there is no way you can have a life-long relationship with anyone but a Muslim.

Right on!

quote:Originally posted by Abrahim:

Right on!

The Christian view is that we should be "equally yoked"

Not that there is anything against marrying someone who does not profess faith inside Christianity

- but prudence says why shack up with someone who you know is not going agree with your core values??

If you are liberal don't hook up with a conservative

If you are pragmatic avoid a analitical

If you are democratic avoid a republican

etc..etc..etc..

If you are going to hook up with someone it is only wise that you find someone who agrees with you on at least your core values..otherwise why begin the relationship disagreeing? How long could you tolerate each other?

Makes sense to me...

quote:Originally posted by Interest:

The Christian view is that we should be "equally yoked"

Not that there is anything against marrying someone who does not profess faith inside Christianity

- but prudence says why shack up with someone who you know is not going agree with your core values??

If you are liberal don't hook up with a conservative

If you are pragmatic avoid a analitical

If you are democratic avoid a republican

etc..etc..etc..

If you are going to hook up with someone it is only wise that you find someone who agrees with you on at least your core values..otherwise why begin the relationship disagreeing? How long could you tolerate each other?

Makes sense to me...

Yes, but even greater than Democrat or Republican, is devotion to a God, and if One disbelieves in your religion and the revelations of your God, taking instead something else, I find that a tremendous difficulty, as well as a great strain on any children who might come out of the relationship.