If we are to read the Bible literally and not interpretively as extremist Christians cry, then what is to be made of this passage in Matthew:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already commited adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut If off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

Well shit, I’ve looked at so much porn that I better gouge out my eyeballs.



[This message has been edited by Raw_Power (edited 09-17-2006).]

How embarrassing, imagine back in those times...

You're walking down the street and you've got an arm and an eye missing. Everyone looks at you thinking, "That dirty bastard as been fapping again."

quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:

Well shit, I’ve looked at so much porn that I better gouge out my eyeballs.





Or emasculate yourself http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif)

Isnt it usually the left hand that sins? i think both my hands and both of my eyes and possibly both of my legs and my dick and both of my balls and my... shit just kill me.

My point exactly is that if read literally it makes even less sense and is more disgusting(which is hard to be) than if read interpretively.

Damn radicals.

i read some guy in the phillipines cut his penis off cuz of that

[This message has been edited by Zman (edited 09-18-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by The_Big_Beef:

Isnt it usually the left hand that sins? i think both my hands and both of my eyes and possibly both of my legs and my dick and both of my balls and my... shit just kill me.

Well, I use my right hand but I dunno about you.

You'd also have to believe that snakes eat dirt and the moon gives off light

quote:Originally posted by redzed:

Or emasculate yourself http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif (http://www.totse.com/bbs/eek.gif)



with fire

quote:Originally posted by piewalker101:

You'd also have to believe that snakes eat dirt and the moon gives off light

And that if goats breed while looking at stripes, their offspring will become striped!

Chapter 30 of the Book of Genesis:

quote:31 And he said, What shall I give thee? And Jacob said, Thou shalt not give me any thing: if thou wilt do this thing for me, I will again feed and keep thy flock.

32 I will pass through all thy flock today, removing from thence all the speckled and spotted cattle, and all the brown cattle among the sheep, and the spotted and speckled among the goats: and of such shall be my hire.

33 So shall my righteousness answer for me in time to come, when it shall come for my hire before thy face: every one that is not speckled and spotted among the goats, and brown among the sheep, that shall be counted stolen with me.

34 And Laban said, Behold, I would it might be according to thy word.

35 And he removed that day the he goats that were ring-streaked and spotted, and all the she goats that were speckled and spotted, and every one that had some white in it, and all the brown among the sheep, and gave them into the hand of his sons.

36 And he set three days' journey betwixt himself and Jacob: and Jacob fed the rest of Laban's flocks.

37 ¶ And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chestnut tree; and pilled white streaks in them, and made the white appear which was in the rods.

38 And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink.

39 And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ring-streaked, speckled, and spotted.

40 And Jacob did separate the lambs, and set the faces of the flocks toward the ring-streaked, and all the brown in the flock of Laban; and he put his own flocks by themselves, and put them not unto Laban's cattle.

41 And it came to pass, whensoever the stronger cattle did conceive, that Jacob laid the rods before the eyes of the cattle in the gutters, that they might conceive among the rods.

It makes sense.

It's just harsh. Nothing in the universe is truly without love, and the most divine things are created completely of love, so that is definately not divine.

It's just like poetry. Because the truth and the real meanings have been so tucked away from years of rewritting that it's just obscure half-truths now. It's funny, at first I thought it was supposed to be like that. Then I realized it was like that because of error.

Don't forget, most of the Bible was written over two thousand years ago, for an audience of superstitious nomadic tribesmen. Times have changed.

For instance, suppose you were to take literally the bit in Exodus where it tells you when you can sell your daughter into slavery. Or when it is okay to kill a slave of your own.

As far as I am concerned, all the good parts of the Bible can be written on a 3x5 file card.

quote:Originally posted by Raw_Power:

If we are to read the Bible literally and not interpretively as extremist Christians cry, then what is to be made of this passage in Matthew:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already commited adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut If off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

Well shit, I’ve looked at so much porn that I better gouge out my eyeballs.





Wait a sec, you mean this is talking about masterbation ? ...... ROFLSAUCE !



[This message has been edited by shuu (edited 09-19-2006).]